Don't say I don't know

When I say I don't know, it does not always meant I really don't know. On the contrary, it was said too much too often, it became a defense mechanic for me. I will even say "I don't know" to myself! There is something hidden. Something I could not even face myself. When at one point in life started to get sour, everything behind that point seemed sour. When I searched for the reason of my present condition, I always came up empty. But the simple truth was I was crazy about a girl. I could not muster enough courage to ask her out. I had to make up reasons, variety of them, to comfort myself. I debated myself, I love her, I love her not, what a central ego maniac it is. I did not really know her. I was very much afraid of rejection. However, what if she said yes to my proposal? I was too short, I was ugly, I was not smart enough, I lacked everything to give her a happy life. To love somebody was to provide them the best in everything, make them happy, satisfied, secured. All of which, I did not see myself as being able to provide. After that, I looked many people around me, I found them tall, handsome, smart, charming, kind, strong. So many great people. Why bother her with myself? But fear of rejection was humongous as well. I doubted I could face that. I am very much one minded. When I set my mind on something at first, I want to try it out. Everything else seemed trivial. If I got rejected, what would happen to my self esteem? lol!!!!!!!! I now know that girl is married. I am very happy for her. I feel sad too. I never really though anything could happen between her and I. But the want for comfort and caress is increasing. The rejection for that want is growing correspondingly. I am restless. It is a terrible reason for being in my present state. I so wish I have the ability to entertain, satisfy, and protect a girl. I so wish to feel the love. and I so wish to love. I am afraid of everyone. When I see a child, I feel they are passing me and going beyond. When I see a girl, I feel a longing to get close, at the same time, trying to keep distance as far as possible, no eye contact, no talk, no nothing. When I see a guy, I am afraid, I feel they are all tall, big, smart, strong, funny, charming. And me, sitting on a shady road, where I could not see beyond three feet, watching all the people pass me by. My mother is trying to drag me along but without any success. Every time I consider the question of what I want. I always said I don't know. But in truth, the only thing I want is to be able to love a girl, I want to make her laugh, I want to make her feel secure, I want to make love to her, I want to cherish every moment together with her. Along with my mother being proud, my cats healthy, and my sister less trouble. I love her. I miss her. I felt she tried to make a conversation with me. But I was not talkable. Every time I saw her, we said hi, then we parted. I wished to hold her in my arms. I feel sad. I am confused. I don't love her. I never loved anybody. Love is an effort, which I never really spend. I never loved, I never love. This is just another reason I am trying to draw for my present condition.

外婆橋

我記得的:

搖啊搖,
搖到外婆橋.
外婆叫我好寶寶.
糖一包, 果一包.

Taras Bulba 2009

It's a movie about Zaporizhia Cossack. Zaporizhia is situated in now Ukraine. The story was about Zaporizhia Cossack's stuggle with Poland in 16th century. The main actor were interesting, a very flavorful character. The story was okay. If only they could left out all the Russian Patriotic yelling and fanatic religious words, this could be an okay movie.

I searched the background a little. I can probably understand the fanatic religious words in the historical context. But I do not understand the Russian Patriotic yelling...

I was moved by the death scene of Taras Bulba's elder son. But I felt the other things in the movie were murmuring of unimportance. The battle scenes were okay, nothing fancy. I'd imagined that many of the problems stemmed from me not knowing the historical context. Although that was the case, the movie suffered a great deal without a real bad guy. I mean I understand the movie needed to paint Poles as the evil here, but the Poles really did not do anything for that portrayal. The only real act I saw from Poles, was the execution of Taras Bulba's elder son. However, brutality was universal to almost every cultures at the time, to my understanding. I could not hold that against Poles. And without a real enemy on the screen, the movie suffered.

The main character was flavorful. But all the patriotic yelling really does not help... The final scene where Taras Bulba went back for his smoke pipe which caused him being caught and consequently death was stupid and anti-climate!

This movie was sad.

古文觀止

古文觀止有點奇怪. 他只有兩種文章. 一種是先秦的文章, 另一種是先秦之後的文章.

我說說我的意思是啥. 無論左傳, 國語, 和其他先秦的文章, 幾乎都很像一個短篇小說. 幾乎每篇裡都有轉折的情節和生動的人物. 但是, 前述的所有優點在先秦之後的文章裡好像消失了... 古文觀止所選的先秦之後的文章裡, 在沒有出現象先秦文章那樣的東西了! 這是很有趣的現象. 先秦的文章裡只有一篇是和先秦之後的文章一樣的, 那就是李斯的逐客論. 意思是, 古文觀止的文章其實有 85% 的都是辯士的文章... 所謂辯士的文章, 就是, 直接說理, 解頗分析.

大部分先秦的文章, 不算公羊的話, 根本就是話本! 而之後的歲月裡, 世說新語其實和古文觀止裡先秦的文章有點像. 但是, 在情節上似乎差滿多的. 但是, 其實, 最和古文觀止裡那些先秦的文章像的, 還是要屬歷史文章, 像是司馬遷.的史記, 班彪的漢書, 和其他種種史話. 到了後來, 佛教為了向廣大民眾傳教, 白話文學開始風行. 隨唐以後來, 很多赴考的學生為了爭取獲得重視, 於是各種傳奇小說也應運而出. 這和佛教為了傳教的關係而盛行的白話文學一加結合, 宋朝的話本從此而出.

這一切, 恐怕和先秦的文章脫不出關係. 或許不能算是一派淵源, 但是, 當時人人必讀左傳國語, 勢必有很強的影響. 在傳奇的創作上, 必然有取法於此的可能.


通通是亂想... 我啥史書都沒看過, 只是閒時亂翻古文觀止. 看先秦的文章很輕鬆, 也很有趣. 當然也要看註釋, 但是, 不像單純講理的文章那樣傷腦筋. 為啥, 選先秦之後的文章時, 不也多選點類似的文章呢? 大概先秦的文章是經的關係吧. 而且編輯者也同樣喜歡那樣的文章.

The red shoes

I watched the red shoes tonight. It was wonderful. It was not plot rich, but characters were really memorable. The dance sequences were amazing as well! It was a sad story.

Toy Story 123

I finally watched the series after its first release 15 years ago. Wow, it was that long ago. I was able to see the progression of CG animation. It was amazing. However, the stories were really great! If I just watched the first one, it was good, but after the marathon, I mean I did borrowed 3 movies at once, it was amazing! Instant favorite of all time!

成語

成語... 這個辭是啥意思? 語? 他是語言嗎? 那和文字有啥不一樣?

排排坐

排排坐
吃果果
你一個
我一個

印象裡, 這是我小時後聽爸爸說, 這是他們小時後唱的.

現在查了一下網路, 看到這篇文章:

"排排坐

　TVB 的出位人士安德尊先生最近翻唱了《 排排坐》這一首廣東童謠。也許是因安德尊的名人效應關係，一下子令《排排坐》這一首廣東童謠再次在兒童世界中流行起來。

　說起來，《排排坐》這一首廣東童謠，自1978 年面世以來，不經不覺間己有了二十二個年頭，也慶幸這首歌曲於二十二年來，在香港、華南地區廣泛流行，也有不少朋友，以為這是一首地道的民歌。小人國出版社和熊熊兒童合唱團都先後翻錄了這首歌，遺憾的是，他們都把歌曲當作是傳統民謠處理，後者更把作詞人之名字刪改為他人的名字，面對這一些侵權行為，是有一些不開心，也感到很無奈。

　排排坐最早是由基督教兒童合唱團於1980年灌錄，其後再由當年的兒歌歌手曾敏詩唱出，永聲唱片公司出版。 其後，不少朋友，也翻唱了這首童謠。

　事實上，筆者依據廣東童謠《排排坐》的素材先後寫成三首歌曲，一首是《排排坐吃果果》，一首是《排排坐吃粉果》，另外一首，則是《排排坐唱歌歌》。

《排排坐吃粉果》的原詞是這樣的 : -

排排坐
吃粉果
豬拉柴
狗透火
貓兒擔凳俾姑婆坐
坐爛個屎忽唔好賴我

　這一首無調子廣東童謠，頗為生動趣緻，亦教育了孩子們認識和我們有密切關係的動物，只是有一些字句，是略為粗鄙了一點，如「屎忽」一詞，就太粗俗了，不太適合孩子唱詠。故此筆者在整理歌詞之時，將屎忽改為「 I PAN 」 (椅子的靠背) ，令歌曲可以更童真，而歌詞也由一小段添加至三小段，也為歌曲添加了副歌，讓歌曲更為完整。修訂後的歌詞是這樣的(見歌曲附件):

排排坐
吃粉果
豬拉柴
狗透火
貓兒擔凳俾姑婆坐
坐爛個 I PAN 唔好賴我
坐坐坐 姑婆姑婆坐
坐坐坐 姑婆姑婆坐
坐坐坐 姑婆姑婆坐
坐爛個 I PAN 唔好賴我！

排排坐
唱歌歌
雞打鑼
鴨拍掌
歌仔幾隻等姑婆唱
唱後你聲沙唔好話我！
唱唱唱 姑婆姑婆唱
唱唱唱 姑婆姑婆唱
唱唱唱 姑婆姑婆唱
唱後你聲沙唔好話我！

排排坐
笑啊啊
一起來
講笑話
古仔講個俾姑婆聽
笑大個嘴吧唔好賴我！
笑笑笑 姑婆姑婆笑
笑笑笑 姑婆姑婆笑
笑笑笑 姑婆姑婆笑
笑大個嘴吧唔好賴我！



　安德尊唱的版本，則是《排排坐吃果果》的新版本。歌曲由「吃粉果」改為「吃果果」的歡樂圖。 新版的歌詞是這樣的 :

排排坐
吃果果
你一個來我一個
大家快樂笑呵呵
弟弟妹妹啊
請你快些來
各位排排坐
吃果果
各位排排坐
笑呵呵
李子鮮甜蘋果又大個
橙子金黃最好吃是菠蘿
香蕉葡萄荔枝龍眼靚
蜜瓜清潤我請你共賞
各位排排坐
吃果果
各位排排坐
笑呵呵
你一個來我一個
大家快樂笑呵呵！



　《排排坐唱歌歌》的版本，是最小小孩子的。歌詞是這樣的 : -

排排坐
唱歌歌
你唱歌
我來和
齊齊唱隻快樂歌
你你你唱歌
我我我來和
Do re me fe so so do

　說到流行程度，無疑是以《排排坐吃果果》這一首歌謠最為大家所熟悉，差不多在大部份的華南地區，《排排坐吃果果》都像無脛而走，廣泛的流傳起來，成為了一首走入民間的民歌。

文：韋然"
(http://www.waiyinworkshop.com.hk/MusicSky/MusicSky_07_01.htm)


我爸爸是民國十六年以前出生的, 他記得的應該是最最原始的版本吧. 也或許海南島有自己的版本...

感想

最近在網站上, 和拙林有個討論. 因為我不贊成一篇文章裡的歷史觀點. 那篇文章的觀點認為, 中共政權的前卅年, 沒有左右之爭, 只有上下之爭. 他所謂的上應該是指國家政權, 下則是指社會. 文章的重點最主要展望未來, 希望要思想自由. 所以在回顧過去之時, 他主要是想指出, 國家政權對經濟社會的迫害.

我看了以後說, 中共政權下, 只有下剋上, 沒有上下之爭, 也沒有左右之爭. 我認為我和拙林爭論的地方就是, 是否中共前卅年的運動都是中共政權的領導. 基本上, 我感覺拙林的論點就是, 當時的社會完全是受國家政權的壓迫. 但是, 我認為是, 只要是真正的共產政權, 黨政府社會鐵定是三位一體. 這三位一體的現象是不可能和一般社會一樣可以把政權和社會分開. 再加上, 社會產生不了左右之爭, 因為真正的異議份子是不可能有聲音的. 所以基本上, 所謂經濟社會和國家政權基本上鐵板一塊. 如此一來, 上下之爭也是不可能. 只有下剋上, 所謂下剋上就是革命造反. 這是共產黨灌輸的觀念, 沒錯. 但是, 這種觀念一旦養成, 人民群眾根本不需要黨再說啥. 所以, 整個大陸在文革的時候, 不僅僅是首都各大城市的政府停擺, 其他地方也是. 幾乎已成為無政府狀態. 至少有兩三年, 連黨的力量都無能為力. 只有毛神有號招力. 這種情況之下, 絕對不是國家政權使經濟社會機器化所能形容. 也不光是因為少數某某人為了黨爭所造成的. 更可以確定的是, 這絕對不是上下之爭... 上下之爭, 首先要有個上. 但是, 以當時的政府機構來說, 政府機構的人是隨時可能被人民拉出來鬥的. 如果把當時的整個情況看成是個金字塔, 可以看成是, 倒金字塔. 也因為如此, 哪裡還能談經濟社會呢? 只有國家政權在和社會鎔為一體, 讓毛和少數幾人坐在金字塔塔基上. 這就是下剋上. 毛澤東一個人做不出來這種事情. 單靠那幾個人如果不是水到渠成的情況之下, 也是不可能的. 上下之爭, 爭不起來. 只有下剋上.

一直要到了毛澤東祭出了大棒隊來對付個革命的人群. 上下之爭, 才真的出現一點跡象. 但是, 沒有人相信我說的. 我媽看了,說無聊. 拙林還是相信自己認為的, 當時是國家政權使經濟社會機器化, 一切運動都是毛澤東等人造成的. 我覺得這個說法其實, 是把現在中共後卅年的情況套在前卅年的狀況上.

我的說法裡唯一有問題的地方是, 那難道國家政權對社會灌輸思想不是上下之爭嗎? 我的回答是, 看起來是的. 但是, 問題來了, 沒有左右之爭的可能, 思想只能從共產黨對社會灌輸思想. 再來, 共產主義不是一個政治體制. 共產主義的產生完全是針對工業革命後的社會問題提出一種經濟上的解答. 他在列寧以前, 根本不能成為政治體制. 即便後來列寧奪權成功, 俄共的政治體制依然鬆散. 他靠的不是一個穩固的體制. 他靠的是領袖. 每一次的領袖輪替都是一場鬥爭. 這也就是為啥赫魯雪夫後來倒檯的原因, 原因就是他即使在上面, 依然隨時會被鬥下去. 共產主義到最後, 仍是一個思想. 當他真的要掌權的時候, 只有全部的人民都是信徒才行. 至少, 絕大多數的人不反對. 他既然是思想, 他一主政, 第一件事情就是教育. 他一主政, 所有左右之爭, 也都立即停矲. 一旦停擺, 上下之爭也沒了. 但是, 共產主義不是不教爭. 他最注重的就是爭, 鬥爭. 在, 齊瓦哥醫生裡, 那個黨書記對游擊隊長說,

when the military struggle slowed down, the political struggle intensified.

啥是, political struggle? 上下之爭嗎? 不是的, 根本不是的. 在共產黨的社會裡, 那就是黨爭. 鬥爭出來的就是掌權. 就走誰的路線. 既不是爭政治權利, 也不是爭說話自由. 而這兩項, 都是左右之爭之後, 才會出現的. 這兩樣也是我所認為的上下之爭的內容. 但是, 不是的,共產黨是不一樣的.

所謂教育, 第一件事情就是要學生至少可以獨自模仿. 不需要邊看編模仿. 這樣, 學生自己就可以順著所教的道理走. 在思想上教育上的目標更是如此. 每個人很會稱自己是正義的. 共產黨也不例外. 而且說的比別人都好. 在沒有真的左右之爭的情況之下. 這時的人民, 尤其是學生, 大部分都希望自己是正義的. 他們那種從希望要正義再加上學習鬥爭後所產生的行為, 不能視為國家政權的壓迫. 這種認知在我的認為是不全面, 甚至有害的. 這是現在, 中共後卅年後, 開放社會言論時, 終於在有了左右之爭, 並且因此產生了上下之爭的過程中所產生的認識. 這個認識, 和抗戰後, 大部分學生認為國民政府只會貪污腐敗的認識, 是一致的. 而且, 以現在這種上下的認知, 罩在前卅年的認知上, 是極為偏差的事實. 這是現在上下之爭必有的過程. 但是, 如果這種認知是廣泛的現象, 這只是說明, 現在的人並沒有比以前進步. 就好像說, 皇帝時代是, totalitarian 一樣, 不要把, 中共前卅年的現象, 罩在皇帝時代...

共產黨之後, 思想不自由是必然的走向. 而不是說, 他會有另一種可能. 再加上共產黨本來就是, 國家政權經濟社會還有黨, 全然一體. 全國上下, 大部分的思想整齊劃一. 異議人士不是被鬥, 就是沉默, 再不然就是假裝, 這所有的種種, 造就了當時的思想單一. 如此, 哪能有上下之爭呢?

河水

河水

作詞：林福裕 / 作曲：培雅爾(法國)

河水靜靜向東流
流過鄉村和城市
河水日夜向東流
流過荒野峽谷

河水呀 我託付你
把我的思念和鄉情
帶給我的故鄉人
遙遠的故鄉人

河水靜靜向東流
流過鄉村和城市
河水日夜向東流
流過荒野峽谷

河水呀 我託付你
把我的思念和鄉情
帶給我的故鄉人
遙遠的故鄉人

經和子

似乎有很多人認為經應該放和子放在平等的地位上. 但是, 我現在感覺這樣是不大對. 經是諸子的源頭, 無論諸子是贊成反對, 或著繼承還是拋棄. 諸子呢, 則是不斷的變動, 隨時代而動. 但是經不動, 無論是哪個時代, 無論是怎樣動亂的世界, 易書禮詩春秋不變. 這五經, 最重要的, 不是深廣的內涵. 而是他們表現出一個基本社會的雛型. 是的, 雛型. 因為是雛型, 所以無所不包. 因為是雛型, 他們和子是不同的.

子, 如果讓我用現在的白話來說, 就是各行各業的學問. 是雛型之後的雕飾, 顏色, 進一步的構思, 等等. 資本主義和共產主義, 或其他的各種 "主義" 都是子. 子, 依照時代的不同, 風俗習慣, 而有新的學術思想出現. 於是, 子在經的雛型上, 雕塑出的政治體制, 經濟形態, 社會結構.

Afterthought: the Private Life of Sherlocke Holmes

I watched this movie yesterday. It was the best Sherlocke Holmes movie I've ever seen. I do think this Sherlocke Holmes caught the essence from the book. Dr. Watson was made fun in the movie, but not to the point of degrading the whole thing into something else. It was rather unusual that the movie was about Sherlocke Holmes' failure.

The movie was not started with the main case. But it started by building a characters with few short stories. It was quite amazing that it could squeeze in so many things in 2 hours. But it worked really well to bring out Sherlocke Holmes' personality. And it raised a central theme of the movie, the "Private Life" of Sherlocke Holmes. By doing so, the movie bring an audience to peek into the world famous detective, who was always presented as having cold deduction skill, and know it all attitude.

I really liked the movie. I felt the ending really brought a Sherlocke Holmes with real muscle, bones, brain, and heart to life!

Afterthought: Fast Five

I just finished watching Fast Five. I liked it quite a bit. I loved to see Dwayne Johnson and Vin Diesel together on the screen. It gave a lot of anticipation. The final action scene was heart pumping. One of the most exciting shot was when Dwayne Johnson first met Vin Diesel in a foot chase. That was really awesome.

However, there were quite a few rants about this movie. The first was Dwayne Johnson's presence. When DJ first appeared, it was fantastic. But as movie progressed, his presence became less and less important. Because he ceased to become a threat at all. I was most disappointed when DJ and VD fought in close quarter. I kept praying, please let VD lose this fight. But no, he still won in the end. What a joke DJ's character eventually became? He lost in a fist fight with VD, he was stupid enough for being forced to retreat by VD. And although it seemed he looked into Reyes, the Drug lord of Rio, DJ's character did not mind him at all! DJ's character had look, had initial oomph, but the film maker failed to identify his position in storyline! He was a vase for Vin Diesel just like all other characters in the movies. Even, the bad guy in the last movie in series were better than DJ's character. Simply because that bad guy was more defined. I totally understand how hard it was to put two action stars in front of the same camera. But if you could not whip DJ's character into shape, then it was a missed opportunity to bring the movie into next level! I feel sad for Dwayne because he has the look, the personality, and will to become great. But he just kept missed so many opportunities! The other problem from failure of defining DJ's character as a real threat to VD was the plotlines. There were basically three sides in the movie which could actually became something really nice. The result was a huge dismay simply because, the side DJ was on did not matter at all to the plotlines. DJ's story line was an accessory, not a necessity.

The other problem was that too many characters, who were generic at the best. What's more, because of so many characters, the movie was dragged on. Compared to Ocean's Eleven, which had many characters as well. But most of the characters were flushed out nicely. Most of them were well defined. It's just not the same here. Two African Americans, whose roles could combine as one; two Spanish speaking characters, who could also combined as one; one Asian American, who by the way, did nothing at all, not even come close to the Asian dude in Ocean's Eleven; and finally two girls, who had no impact to the storyline at all. And I have to say, please, if it's not absolutely necessary, do not bring a love interest for the main character! A vase still need screen time, and dialogue. But nobody really cared about a vase in the background!

Potato Salad

Note that this recipe calls for celery seed, not celery salt; if only celery salt is available, use the same amount but omit the addition of salt in the dressing. When testing potatoes for doneness, simply taste a piece; do not overcook the potatoes or they will become mealy and will break apart. The potatoes must be just warm, or even fully cooled, when you add the dressing. If you find the potato salad a little dry for your liking, add up to 2 tablespoons more mayonnaise.

Ingredients:

2 pounds (3 to 4 medium)russet potatoes, peeled and cut into 3/4-inch cubes
Salt
2 tablespoons distilled white vinegar
1 medium celery rib, chopped fine (about 1/2 cup)
2 tablespoons minced red onion
3 tablespoons sweet pickle relish
1/2 cup mayonnaise(or more as to your liking)
3/4 teaspoon powdered mustard
3/4 teaspoon powdered celery seed
2 tablespoons minced fresh parsley leaves
1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
2 large hard-cooked eggs, peeled and cut into 1/4-inch cubes(optional)


Process:

1. Place potatoes in large saucepan and add water to cover by 1-inch. Bring to boil over medium-high heat; add 1 tablespoon salt, reduce heat to medium, and simmer, stirring once or twice, until potatoes are tender, about 8 minutes.

2. Drain potatoes and transfer to large bowl. Add vinegar and, using rubber spatula, toss gently to combine. Let stand until potatoes are just warm, about 20 minutes.

3. Meanwhile, in small bowl, stir together celery, onion, pickle relish, mayonnaise, powdered mustard, celery seed, parsley, pepper, and 1/2 teaspoon salt. Using rubber spatula, gently fold dressing and eggs(if using) into potatoes. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate until chilled, about 1 hour; serve. (Potato Salad can be covered and refrigerated for up to 1 day.)

質文新解

子曰：「質勝文則野，文勝質則史；文質彬彬，然後君子。」(論語雍也章)

我最新的解釋:

在很久很久以前, 聖人不需要食譜, 卻煮出了非常好吃的菜來. 他和他們的學生還有食迷們努力的發覺出各種步驟次序, 各種食材的份量, 如何控制火的大小, 鍋子的質料, 甚至拿啥來做火引都加以研究. 當然, 聖人也努力的招收天下的聰明有心人, 他們的條件不僅心靈手巧, 他們的嗅覺, 味覺, 視覺, 觸覺也都經過嚴格的篩選. 於是, 終於, 有一天, 聖人制禮作樂, 發明了食譜!

在聖人駕崩後, 他的門人卻分出兩派來, 一派聲稱, 作菜是藝術, 怎麼可以跟著食譜走? 當別人問他們說, 這道菜要放多少鹽? 他們嗤之以鼻, 說, 哈, 我怎麼知道? 拿湯匙舀出來嚐嚐才知道哇! 另有一派, 說, 作菜是規矩! 只要照著聖人的方子作, 就對了! 嚐嚐才知道味道, 那簡直就是粗魯加噁心! 聖人的舌頭一定比我等凡人的準, 聽他的準沒錯!

結果, 一派, 出不了食譜, 因為說不出個標準來. 另一派只能照著食譜作, 他們只能把聖人的食譜數據在度量衡上不斷求精, 卻不能有啥創新. 全天下的人都是又恨又怒, 尤其是家庭煮婦.

終於新的聖人出現了!

話說, 這個新聖人的來歷也是一番艱辛. 原來, 這個新聖人的父母就來自兩派. 這一對情侶, 我們不稱他們為聖, 畢竟聖人也只能自己聖, 不能使父母聖, 在各自的壓力下, 衝破了種種難關, 終於有情人終成眷屬. 即使如此, 兩人在煮菜上, 卻也是爭吵連連. 而我們的新聖人就在這種壓力的環境下茁壯. 他對自己的感覺是如此的自信, 就像他老爸, 但是, 對於度量衡的掌握, 竟也在老媽的監督下變成習慣. 他對於幼時種種爭吵的回憶又是如此的深刻. 於是他利用從他老爸得來的自信, 來掌握他老媽學到的對度量衡的仔細, 再加上他激烈渴望找到一條平衡兩派的耐心, 不斷實驗. 終於新的食譜就在他手裡湧泉般產生. 在一統兩派後, 他終於悟到並說出了名言: 「質勝文則野，文勝質則史；文質彬彬，然後君子。」

沒有度量衡, 何以示人? 不相信自己的感官, 度量衡本身並不能作新菜! 唯有文和質不斷相碰撞, 也就是說, 一個人只有對自己的感官有一定的自信, 並且也能用度量衡找出一個標準, 並且還能對標準以外做出解釋, 因為他早已實驗過不少次, 才是一個真正的廚師! 咳, 聖人, 我是說,聖人...

Memorable movie moments 2

I watched a lot of movies lately.

Expendables: The Fry scene! That was one awesome scene! Stallone drove his plane around the port while the enemies arrived on the scene. Statham came out of a pit in front of the pilot windwhsield. He popped the huge guns out of the tip of the plane and start strafing at the enemies on the dock. Right when the plane flied pass over the enemies, Stallone open the oil tank on the enemies. After passing them overhead, Statham turned and shoot his emergency gun at the duck, then BOOM! When I first saw it, I had no clue what they were doing. But aftermath impact of the BOOM was huge! It was simply awesome! The effect of a plane with strafing I thought would be mediocre at best. However, as the final revenge move, Fry and die, it was truly like the characters in the movie said, "it is a statement!"

---------------

Mother India: The shooting in the finale. That was truly shocking. I was shocked not by the act, but by the Mother's acknowledgement of right or wrong. Considering what the Mother had suffered at the hands of the rich village man through out the year, and considering how devoted she was to both of her sons. In the end, when the choice of absolute right or wrong befell on her hands, the fact she did not falter was simply astounding. I felt tremendous sadness for her, but I felt extremely alert at the same time. The heaviness of time and emotion built up during the film seemed all exploded in that final act. One of the most memorable movie endings!

---------------

The wild bunch: The movie is ranked the highest western by me so far. The scene that I remembered the most was when the gangs decided to go in to the rescue, or simply kill and be killed while rescuing. There were something extremely Steely about it. There was not much words, but looks. The looks said more than words. What is it? I really cannot put my hands on, but stuffy yet, manly.

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Once upon a time in the west: The final dual. When the musical score came up, and Bronson's face showed up at the same time, the eerie and shocking harmonica cooked the scene up with a stir. I can never forget that setup. Henry Fonda and Bronson both did not need to do much with their faces, but the atmosphere surrounded them was awesome. The final secret was going to be revealed. It put my focus right on the edge. It was just very memorable!

--------------

Human condition: The scene where Chinese Prisoners arrived from train. The hungry drove them mad. The protagonist needed to stop the starving stricken crowd from over stuffing themselves with food and water. Simply scary.

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Sophie Scholl: The scene where Sophie Scholl was tried to be persuaded by the investigator. The emotion was spilled out, and the reason triumphed as well. Simply a great scene that should be reminded again and again.

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Il y a longtemps que je t'aime: the dinner scene, where the protagonist was asked about where she's been all these years. She simply stated the truth, yet, everybody laughed. Because the truth was simply too impossible. I felt so weird about the scene. It was a truth, but none believed it. They simply took it as a joke. It was a simple revelation how far apart of the protagonist from the rest of the world.

------------

節錄: 善變的女人--林治平

我的妻子是一個善變的女人--可是我喜歡她的善變.
曉風最反對 "我愛你永遠不變" 這一句話. 她說:

"如果我與你在一起好幾年了, 而你對我的愛竟然還是跟我們初認識時一樣, 毫無增加, 那多可怕!"

有一次她很鄭重其事的將一位日本作家與謝野晶子討論愛的文章, 以正楷抄錄下來給我, 那篇題名為 "愛的創作" 的文章如此說:

"人的心在移動是常態, 不移動是病態, 幼小而不移動是為痴呆, 成長而不移動是為老衰的徵候.
在花的趣味上, 在飲食的嗜好上, 在衣服的選擇上, 從少年, 少女的時代起, 一生不知要變化多少回. 正是因為如此, 人的生活無論精神的和物質的都有進步. ...世人的俗見常以為夫婦親子的情愛是不變動的, 但是, 在花與穿衣服上會變化的心, 怎麼會對於與自己更直接有關係的生活倒反不敏感的移動呢?
就我自己的經驗上說, 這廿年間我們夫婦的愛情不知經過多大的變化來了. 我們的愛情絕不是以最初的愛一貫繼續下去, 始終沒有變動的, 固定的靜的關係. 我們不斷的努力, 將新的生命吹進兩人的愛情裡去, 破壞了重又建起, 鍛鍊堅固, 使它加深, 使他醇化. ...我們每日努力重新播種, 每日重新建築起以前所無的新的愛之生活.
我們不願把昨天的愛就此靜止了, 再把它塗飾起來, 稱作永久不變的愛; 我們並不依賴這樣的愛, 我們長在期望兩人的愛是進化移動而無止息.
倘若不然, 那麼愛只是心的化石, 不能不感到困倦和苦痛了吧.
我們曾把這意見告訴生田長江君, 它很表同意, 答到: "理想的夫婦是每日在互換愛的新證書的""

為了不願使我們的愛成為心之化石, 從此以後 "愛的創造" 就成為我們共赴的目標, 我們彼此要求自己, 每天要以新的愛, 創造的愛, 呈獻給對方, 所以我們相知十八年, 卻從未覺得厭煩倦怠, 她至今還常常會讓我嚇了一跳似的忽然發現了她新的一面, 我的妻子曉風是一個變化多端的女人.

-----林治平 善變的女人, 錄自張曉風 歩下紅毯之後 附錄. 199 頁, 四版, 中華民國六十八年十月十日.

換句話說

換句話說很重要, 尤其是讀古文的時候. 王陽明有關房子的比喻, 給了我一個新的想法. 中文的一個一個字在孔子以後愈用愈複雜, 字義愈來愈衍生, 但是仍是同一個字. 結果, 不同個文句裡的同一文字, 這個人和另一個人在用的時候, 可能會是不一樣的意思. 各種字義很可能在同一根柱子上, 但是, 不同的紋路.

很有趣的事情是, 在清末民初的時候, 為了翻譯歐洲的語言, 再加上, 白話文運動的盛行, 中文減少用一個單字去衍伸出其他的意思. 現在, 通常都用兩個字以上來表示意思. 使的中文更加走向語言. 其實, 這在中國古代就有類似的現象, 類似的情形也發生在佛教經卷翻譯上!

古代典籍既然有這種字義愈來愈衍生的現象, 現代人去讀就必須要換句話說. 這會造成古代的典籍的語意錯亂嗎? 是很有可能的. 但是, 歷代的注解實際上都是困難重重. 他們自己也往往互相爭吵. 而且, 每一個人在每一個生命的歷程去看這些經典又在增加閱歷後, 往往又不同的了解. 我覺得最重要的是, 典籍和讀者的關係大於讀者解釋給其他人聽的關係. 但是, 一個讀者要了解典籍, 就必需把典籍的文句用自己的話說出來. 可是, 要讀者解釋給他們聽的時候, 讀者看到的可能只是柱子上的某些紋路, 如果讀者的聽眾自己去看, 說不定他會看到其他不同的紋路. 不過, 只要讀者和聽眾都能了解這種情形, 互相講述自己的理解, 是非常有意義的! 無論如何, 典籍的了解, 換句話說是必不可少. 無論是為自己還是為講學...

Original or bounced off?

Original or Bounced off? It is easy to bounce off other people's idea rather than pulling some thing out of thin air.

But don't many of the original ideas bounce off the difficulties of their time in society?

Lasagna

Lasagna = Ragu Sauce + Bechamel Sauce + Parmesan Cheese + No Boiled Noodle

Ragu sauce needs to be meaty and cooled from hot to touch of warmth.

Bechamel sauce needs 4, 5 milk, with butter, flour optional; also cooled to the touch of warmth before making lasagna.

No boiled Noodle needs to be submerged in hot water for 5 minutes, not cooked.

An note from making lasagna by Cook's Illustrated yesterday.

Atonement

I just finished the movie. It was not very good. One of the main reason was because the plot was all out in the open. There were few scenes great separately. But as a whole, I could not feel the impact of the story.

Modern times--afterthoughts

I watched Charlie Chaplin's Modern Times two days ago. I think this was the first time I saw Charlie Chaplin's silent film, as a whole. I watched little pieces of Chaplin's movies before.

Modern Times was incredible. I really liked it. I felt I was watching a live Micky Mouse film. When I first saw one of Chaplin's clip, I already had that feeling. Modern Times reconfirmed it.

I loved seeing Chaplin move through space. The movements of his body and limbs were memorizing. He sometimes acted like a clown, sometimes like a dancer. Chaplin used his body language to do what Jim Carey did in The Mask. Amazing.

The background of the story was incredibly interesting as well. It was a time when labor movements were rising amidst the Great Depression in USA. The more I knew about the period, the more I felt that USA was completely different from today. At least, the presentation of the world is vastly variant.

I think this is a must see for any film enthusiast.

Out of place

Out of place: 不對勁

悠遊之歌裡面的詩--沉櫻譯

媽媽有一本沈櫻翻譯的書, 書名是悠遊之歌(Wanderung : Aufzeichnungen; English Title: Wandering, translated by James Wright), 作者是赫曼 赫塞(Hermann Hesse). 沈櫻老師的譯本應該是從英文翻譯成中文的. 他的文筆實在很好, 我比英文的翻譯更喜歡. 我不能鈔下其中的文章, 但是, 可以把裡面的一些詩鈔下來.

第一篇 農舍

鄉村墓園

在墓地裡那些掛著長春藤的十字架上,
有著溫柔的陽光芳香和蜜蜂翁翁的聲響.

可祝福的長眠其下的人呵,
你們依偎到大地之母的心房了.

祝福那默默無名回家來的人兒,
他倒在母親的懷裡得到了休息.

但是聽呀, 聽那蜂群和花朵,
他們都渴望著生命為我高歌.

衝出夢境的盤錯根節,
久遠逝者又進入光明.

毀滅了的生命, 黑暗地埋葬,
他們自己蛻變著要求現在.

皇后般的大地之母
戰慄著在用力生育.

空墳中有甜蜜的和平寶藏,
岩石輕柔的像夜晚的夢一樣.

死亡之夢不過是一陣黑煙,
那下面生命之火正在熾燃.

------------------


第二章 分水嶺

夜行

夜晚我散步在塵埃.
高牆落下它的陰影
穿過葡萄蔓, 我望見
月光正照在小溪上小路間.

以前唱過的歌又來了,
輕柔的再唱一遍.
數不清的旅行印象
又來到我面前路上.

多少年的風雪炎熱
在我腳步中發出迴響,
有仲夏之夜和藍色閃電,
有風暴和旅遊的疲倦.

褐色的健康世間的富有,
我覺得自己
再一次被吸引,
直到我的路轉向死的黑影.

----------------------


第三章 小城

迷失

夢遊的我在森林和峽谷尋找出路,
突然間有一魔術光圈圍著我閃耀;
不管我是在被讚譽還是在被詛咒,
我只忠實地追隨著那內心的呼喚.

多麼經常地那一般生活的現實
曾警告我說服我去向它低頭;
我站在那裡驚醒戰慄
趕快匍匐著又走開了.

啊, 他們劫持我離開的溫暖的家呀,
啊, 他們使我心中煩惱的愛之夢呀,
我飛過千山小徑又飛回來了
像那水奔流向海洋.

春天用歌聲把我帶進神秘,
夢鳥輕輕鼓動著光亮翅膀;
我的童年在前面好像新生召喚,
在陽光的金線和蜜蜂的美歌裡,
我發覺自己又依偎著母親哭泣.

-------------------------


第四章 橋

光輝的世界

不管是青春還是老年,
這意像老是把我糾纏;
夜色中一座山影隱現,
廊子上一位女人靜坐,
月下蒼白的路向前蜿蜒,
這撕裂著我的心想跳出胸腔.

燃燒的世界呀, 廊上白衣的女人呀,
山谷中吠著的狗呀, 遠遠駛過的火車呀,
你們是怎樣的說謊者, 怎樣殘忍地騙過我,
現在竟變成我的最甜美的夢境和幻想.

我時常想試試 "現實" 那可怕的路向,
那裡有的是職業, 法律, 財富, 和時裝.
但是無可奈何地渴望自由我又轉往
另一邊那個充滿夢想和可祝福的傻子的地方.

夜樹間的寒風, 黑衣的吉普賽女人,
世上充滿了愚蠢的渴望和詩人的氣息,
我總是轉回到光輝世界的一面,
因為那裡有你的光熱和聲音的召喚!

--------------------------


第六章 田野

雨

向著那夢想和知足,
輕巧的雨, 夏天的雨,
在灌叢間低語, 在林木間低語,
呵, 多麼可愛又充滿祝福!

在外面的光亮中過了那麼久,
我不習慣於這種動亂激變之情,
還是隨便躲在自己靈魂深處吧,
再也不要被帶到別的地方.

我什麼也不要, 什麼也不想,
我輕哼著童年的一些歌唱,
驚異在夢想的溫馨美妙之中,
我到達了久別的家鄉.

心呵, 你是多麼憂傷: 多麼可感地一味耕耘,
什麼也不想, 什麼也不知,
只去呼吸,只去感受.

---------------------

第七章 樹

畫家的快樂

田中長著玉米非常值錢,
鐵絲網把草地四周圍纏.
可怕的貧乏和貪婪互相關聯,
每樣事物都顯得幽閉可憐.

但在這裡, 我眼中另有一些事物,
表現著生活, 紫羅蘭的花浪消退了,
王袍已滑洛到寶座, 我在唱
我那天真的歌曲.

黃色接連著黃色, 黃色緊靠著鮮紅
一片淡藍又轉變成嬌嫩的玫瑰.
光亮和色彩從這一世界跳到那一世界,
嘻笑和迴響沉浮在愛的浪花裡.

這精神王國, 可醫治所有的病,
新生的春天發出綠的歌唱,
世界在分享那新鮮和意想,
人的心也在歡樂光明中生長.

----------------------


第九章 教堂

逝去

從那生命的樹上
葉子紛紛落到我的身旁.
呵, 世界正歡欣得發狂,
為什麼你竟來使我充滿
使我充滿疲倦,
又使我沉沉醉醉!
一切今天還在發光的
轉眼也要消逝不見.
不久風聲沙沙作響
要掠過我荒涼的墳上,
對著弱小的孩子,
母親俯身在凝望.
她的眼睛我正願意望見,
她的目光是我的星星.
別的一切都能出現又消散
什麼都會死去, 什麼都能解除,
只有永恆的母親亙古常在,
我們是從她那裡來,
她的手指寫出我們的名字
歡騰在漂浮的空氣之中.

--------------------


第十章 中午的休息

漫遊者和死亡的交談

有一天你也要到我身邊,
你絕不會把我遺忘寬免.
那時一切痛苦算完,
任何桎梏都將崩段.
現在你和我似乎還很疏遠,
親愛的弟兄, 死呵!

你像一個冷冷的星光,
高高站在我的煩惱上.

有一天你會和我面對面,
渾身全是火焰.
來吧, 親愛的, 我在這邊.
帶走吧, 我是你的.

----------------------


第十一章 湖, 樹, 山

色彩的魔術

上帝的呼吸, 無處不到,
天空的上面, 天空的底下,
光唱著它的歌有一千遍,
上帝把世界變成數不清的顏色.

從白色到黑色, 從暖色到冷色,
憑自己的感覺隨時有新的變換,
並且永遠從那頭暈目眩的紛亂
彩虹又升起來了.

上帝的光就這樣子,
散佈著千百種形態,
一起在創新而又成形,
我們珍愛它稱為太陽.

----------------------


第十三章 紅房子

傍晚

傍晚有情侶散步
慢慢穿過田野.
女人鬆下她的頭髮,
商人在計算他的金錢,
城裡人急忙地讀著報紙
讀那最後的新聞,
孩子們握著小拳
睡得又沉又甜.
每個人都有他自己的現實,
追隨著各人的神聖責任.
城裡人, 小孩子, 情人們--
可不還有我?
是的, 我也有傍晚的功課
對於它, 我像個奴隸一般,
缺少了成熟的精神不能去做,
同時它們有著太多深奧,
所以我起身來回踱步,
在屋內手舞足蹈,
唱著愚蠢的街頭之歌,
讚美著上帝和我,
喝著酒又假裝作
我是一個土耳其官員,
擔憂著自己的腎臟,
又微笑著喝下了更多,
對我的心說著 "好吧",
從過去的苦難中,
在這清晨將失效,
隨便湊出了一首詩.

望著那圍成一圈的月亮和星星,
猜想著它們的運行,
覺得自己也到了其中,
正在走的旅程,
到哪理都行.

中華民國六十二年, 五月一版, 沈櫻, 蒲公英譯叢

I could not talk

I could not talk. I went to psychologist, I could not really talk. I played tennis with new people, I cannot talk. I walked with other people, I cannot talk. I am frustrated, I cannot talk. I am on the phone with my sister, I cannot talk. I walked with my mom, I cannot talk. I watched movies with other people, I cannot talk. I am all in my mind, I cannot talk. I cannot talk. I cannot talk.

Roger was going to a music festival with a female friend at Maine. Before they got on the way, they played a treasure hunt for the celebration of Roger's birthday. They talked, argued, interacted. I merely observed, tagged along, reactive. One more day to live, one more distance away from the world. I cannot express myself. I cannot talk.

stuffed, stuffed, stuffed! Keep watching, kept watching, watching, until I blind?

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Music from Ennio with Dollars more and West

I watched For a few dollars more. I was not interested in watching the movie after the viewing of A fistful of dollars. I felt Fistful was contrived and boring. I guess some of the reason was because it was an imitate of Akira's Yonjimbo.

But after I watched Once upon a time in the west, I decided to give A few dollars more a try. The motivation was the Music in Once upon a time in the west, composed by Ennio Morricone. I've watched The good, the bad, and the ugly a long time ago. I was not very impressed by the story. But the music was unforgettable. At first, it was a bit atrocious to my ears. However, I was gradually attuned to it. Watching Once upon in the west had the same effect.

And this time, Once upon in the west and Dollars more had something in common. They both had small music instruments that generated big impact for the whole movies. It was the harmonica in Once upon in the west; there was the musical chained watch. The harmonica in Once upon in the west was unpleasant when it first appeared. It was sharp, and the tune was shock and eerie. But it created such an incredible atmosphere for the final duel. It is the similar effect for the musical chained watch in Dollars more, but the music from watch created a feeling of longing and heart wrenching; harmonica was more of a mystery finally cracked emotion for the final duel that was.

And I loved the audacity of the musics in those movies. The theme song for Dollars more had whistle in it, which was so refreshing and beautiful. The theme song apart the ones from harmonica was also mellow and pleasant. The two movies were interwoven by both weird and smooth music, yet, I did not find them unfit throughout the films. I was not particularly impressed by the plot of the movies. The movies were classic, half the reason was because of the music. The other half would be the movies characters.

Brandy and prunes sauce

Cover 1/3 cup chopped pitted prunes with 1/4 cup brandy and let stand. Follow recipe for Pork chops; after transferring chops to platter, pour liquid in skillet into small bowl. While chops are resting, add 1 tablespoon vegetable oil and 1 medium shallot, minced, to now-empty skillet; set skillet over medium heat and cook, stirring occasionally, until shallots have softened, about 2 minutes. Off heat, add brandy and prunes, set skillet on medium-high heat and cook until brandy is reduced to 2 tablespoons, about 3 minutes. Add pork chops' juices to skillet. Off heat, whisk in 2 teaspoons of minced fresh thyme leaves and 3 tablespoons butter until combined. Adjust seasonings, with salt and pepper; spoon sauce over chops and serve immediately.

Cook's Illustrated, free issue 2011, p. 15. at the end of the article of Juicy Weeknight Pork Chops.

Pork and High Heat

I read an article in Cook's Illustrated magazine about Pork Chops. There was a small box in the article titled, science: Why Pork Chops Don't Like High Heat. It explained away the reason for cooking pork chops in low heat with molecular science terms. It was a great read, and added a credential to an old Chinese poem about cooking pork in low heat! Here's the article:

"Curious about the unconventional cold-pan method of cooking chops in our recipe. I decided to investigate the effect of heat on pork. What I discovered was that the secret to juicy pork resided in the structure of its muscle proteins.

Proteins are long chains of linked amino acids that fold into a huge variety of three-dimensional shapes. Folded muscle protein also holds and immobilizes a considerable amount of water in an ordered fashion. When things heat up, this organized state of affairs is thrown into disarray as the protein unfold. Thermal analysis of pork has shown that there are three proximate temperatures at which groups of proteins come undone: 126 degrees(F*), 144 degrees(F*), and 168 degrees(F*). As each of these temperatures is reached, more water is reached from the proteins. Meat proteins also tend to compact as they cook, squeezing out the freed-up water.

All cooks focus on the temperature reached at the middle of a piece of meat to determine doneness, but this may be to myopic. The means by which the middle gets to that temperature is at least as important. High-heat cooking methods, such as searing, guarantee that outer layer of meat will be well browned before the inside is just done. By keeping the heat level low, water loss on the outside of the chop is minimized, and more of the juice that is bound inside the meat remains there. And so the secret to juicy pork chops is revealed: Slow cooking over low heat is best. ---John Olson, Science Editor."
(Cook's Illustrated magazine, Free Issue 2011)
ps. * I added F, as Fahrenheit.

I think this could apply to almost anything related to pork, not just pork chops. The main article also pointed out that cooking pork chops with low heat has one disadvantage. The color will be very white compared cooked by high heat. The article then suggested by adding some sugar, which would enhance the color of the pork chop.

Here is the Chinese Poem about cooking pork in simmering heat:

【豬肉頌】by 蘇東坡

淨洗鐺，少著水，柴頭罨煙焰不起。
待他自熟莫催他，火候足時他自美。
黃州好豬肉，價賤如泥土。
貴人不肯吃，貧者不解煮，
早晨起來打兩碗，飽得自家君莫管。

罨: 音掩, 掩覆掩蓋的意思.

王觀堂先生輓詞並序及王觀堂先生輓聯--陳寅恪

王觀堂先生輓詞並序


或問觀堂先生所以死之故。應之曰：近人有東西文化之說，其區域分劃之當否，固不必論，即所謂異同優劣，亦姑不具言；然而可得一假定之義焉。其義曰：凡一種文化值衰落之時，爲此文化所化之人，必感苦痛，其表現此文化之程量愈宏，則其所受之苦痛亦愈甚；迨既達極深之度，殆非出於自殺無以求一己之心安而義盡也。

吾中國文化之定義，具于白虎通三綱六紀之說，其意義爲抽象理想最高之境，猶希臘柏拉圖所謂Idea者。若以君臣之綱言之，君爲李煜亦期之以劉秀；以朋友之紀言之，友爲酈寄亦待之以鮑叔。其所殉之道，與所成之仁，均爲抽象理想之通性，而非具體之一人一事。夫綱紀本理想抽象之物，然不能不有所依託，以爲具體表現之用；其所依託以表現者，實爲有形之社會制度，而經濟制度尤其最要者。故所依託者不變易，則依託者亦得因以保存。

吾國古來亦嘗有悖三綱違六紀無父無君之說，如釋迦牟尼外來之教者矣，然佛教流傳播衍盛昌於中土，而中土歷世遺留綱紀之說，曾不因之以動搖者，其說所依託之社會經濟制度未嘗根本變遷，故猶能藉之以爲寄命之地也。近數十年來，自道光之季，迄乎今日，社會經濟之制度，以外族之侵迫，致劇疾之變遷；綱紀之說，無所憑依，不待外來學說之掊擊，而已銷沈淪喪於不知覺之間；雖有人焉，強聒而力持，亦終歸於不可救療之局。蓋今日之赤縣神州值數千年未有之鉅劫奇變；劫盡變窮，則此文化精神所凝聚之人，安得不與之共命而同盡，此觀堂先生所以不得不死，遂爲天下後世所極哀而深惜者也。至於流俗恩怨榮辱委瑣齷齪之說，皆不足置辯，故亦不之及云。


漢家之厄今十世，不見中興傷老至。
一死從容殉大倫，千秋悵望悲遺志。
曾賦連昌舊苑時，興亡哀感動人思。
豈知長慶才人語，竟作靈均息壤詞。
依稀廿載憶光宣，猶是開元全盛年。
海宇承平娛旦暮，京華冠蓋萃英賢。
當日英賢誰北斗，南皮太保方迂叟。
忠順勤勞矢素衷，中西體用資循誘。
總持學部攬名流，樸學高文一例收。
圖籍藝風充館長，名詞瘉埜領編修。
校讎鞮譯憑誰助，海寧大隱潛郎署。
入洛才華正妙年，渡江流輩推清譽。
閉門人海恣冥搜，董白關王供討求。
剖別派流失品藻，宋元戲曲有陽秋。
沈酣朝野仍如故，巢燕何曾危幕懼。
君憲徒聞俟九年，廟謨已是爭孤註。
羽書一夕警江城，倉卒元戎自出征。
初意潢池嬉小盜，遽驚烽燧照神京。
養兵成賊嗟翻覆，孝定臨朝空痛哭。
再起妖腰亂領臣，遂傾寡婦孤兒族。
大都城闕滿悲笳，詞客哀時未返家。
自分琴書終寂寞，豈期舟楫伴生涯。
回望觚棱涕泗漣，波濤重泛海東船。
生逢堯舜成何世，去作夷齊各自天。
江東博古矜先覺，避地相從勤講學。
島國風光換歲時，鄉關愁思增綿邈。
大雲書庫富收藏，古器奇文日品量。
考釋殷書開盛業，鉤探商史發幽光。
當世通人數舊遊，外窮瀛渤內神州。
伯沙博士同揚搉，海日尚書互倡酬。
東國儒英誰地主，藤田狩野內藤虎。
豈便遼東老幼安，還如舜水依江戶。
高名終得徹宸聰，徵奉南齋禮數崇。
屢檢秘文升紫殿，曾聆法曲侍瑤宮。
文學承恩值近樞，鄉賢敬業事同符。
君期雲漢中興主，臣本煙波一釣徒。
是歲中元周甲子，神皋喪亂終無已。
堯城雖局小朝廷，漢室猶存舊文軌。
忽聞擐甲請房陵，奔問皇輿泣未能。
優待珠槃原有誓，宿陳芻狗遽無憑。
神武門前御河水，好報深恩酬國士。
南齋侍從欲自沈，北門學士邀同死。
魯連黃鷂績溪胡，獨為神州惜大儒。
學院遂聞傳絕業，園林差喜適幽居。
清華學院多英傑，其間新會稱耆哲。
舊是龍髯六品臣，後躋馬廠元勳列。
鯫生瓠落百無成，敢並時賢較重輕。
元祐黨家慚陸子，西京羣盜愴王先。
許我忘年為氣類，北海今知有劉備。
曾訪梅真拜地仙，更期韓偓符天意。
回思寒夜話明昌，相對南冠泣數行。
猶有宣南溫夢寐，不堪灞上共興亡。
齊州禍亂何時歇，今日吾儕皆茍活。
但就賢愚判死生，未應修短論優劣。
風義平生師友間，招魂哀憤滿人寰。
他年清史求忠蹟，一弔前朝萬壽山。


王觀堂先生輓聯

十七年家國久魂銷 猶余賸水殘山 留與纍臣供一死
五千卷牙籤新手觸 待檢玄文奇字 謬承遺命倍傷神

Doctor Zhivago

I watched Doctor Zhivago last night. It was long. But it was a true epic. The sense of space and time was incredible. Truely amazing. After Lawrence of Arabia and this movie, I can see that the director David Lean loved grand scale and was very capable to mix the grand scale with time. The space and time created a sense of history. And to me, history was what this movie all about.

The movie was so grand that I still could not makeup my mind about it, except its scale and historical senses. The film was very much focused on the Romance between Doctor Zhivago and Lara, his mistress and lover. But I kept thinking how could Doctor Zhivago do this to his wife. And this thoughts interfered me to enjoy the romantic part of the movie. I do understand Doctor Zhivago went through though. The romantic plot was the main focus of the film, my failure to feel for that part of the movie made the movie less interesting to me.

I was very interested in the other parts of the movies, the supporting cast, the music, the revolution, and the result of the revolution. But this makes me feel sad. Because I felt I kept judging movie protagonist by right or wrong, rather than feeling for him. It was kind sad.

烤雞

我們前天買了一隻雞. 昨天看了半天的食譜, 至少看了十個食譜, 除了網上的食譜網站, 還有 youtube 的示範, 甚至還跑到圖書館去看看. 看了那麼多食譜, 我總結了一下大致的方法:

烤前不需要先醃.
雞烤的時候如果不是用濕料醃漬, 那就要把皮擦乾.
鹽巴最好要佈滿雞的皮膚, 這樣, 雞皮才會脆.
鹽從高處灑向雞皮才會均勻.
如果要更好的顏色, 可以在雞皮外塗一層牛油.
烤箱預熱至少四百廿五度, 之後可以轉低溫渡.
可以試驗各種香料, 食材來配合.
烤好後, 烤盤裡的油可以撇掉一些, 然後加紅或白酒, 混上烤盤裡的汁, 油, 雞雜, 再加溫煮至濃稠, 是很好的拌醬.
馬上烤好的雞先不要切剁, 先放的廿卅分鐘. 這樣肉裡汁會分配得更均勻.
把烤好的雞胸肉, 雞腿, 翅膀, 鳳尾切下來後, 剩下的骨架, 還有雞背上的肉可以煮湯.

今天早上從 Mall 走路回來後就馬上動手烤雞. 我用的香料是: 花椒, coriander, thyme, rosemary, 胡椒, 鹽. 全身塗抹. 然後, 肚子裡塞入三根蔥, 三片薑, 八九瓣大蒜頭. 我的雞是八磅, 小一點的雞可以烤少一點時間.

我先預熱四百廿五度. 把雞放上去後烤架,烤架放在烤盤裡, 然後就把雞內臟也放在烤盤裡. 然後雞入烤箱. 過了卅分鐘後, 我看雞皮泛黃, 於是把溫度調到三百七十五度, 烤一個小時. 時間到, 我看了看, 又用筷子插插. 我又烤了十五分鐘. 看看烤盤裡的油似乎清清的, 把雞拿出來.

這一次很成功. 雞皮脆黃, 雞翅膀的骨頭烤的酥酥的. 雞胸肉也不會柴. 雞汁加了紅酒味道極好, 但是我煮得不夠農稠. 加上媽媽醃漬的小黃瓜, 真是非常好的一餐. 晚上來把剩下的骨頭燒湯, 我們剛好芹菜, 胡蘿蔔都有!

Salt

I watched a movie called, Salt. It was a movie like Bourne series but with a female lead, which was Angelina Jolie.

The movie was very good. When the action started, it was non stop till the end. I don't seem to remember an action movie with so little lines, yet so many actions. I was not watching it attentively, but I could still feel the thumping sequences one after another. I think it was an incredible action movie. One of the best I've seen so far in recent years. One thing this movie proved was that you don't need action stars for action movies, since all the techniques, special effects, and editing will do most of the work. The skill of acting is more important than skill of actions. Although Angelina Jolie still ran like a girl, but she was a really good actor. This movie reminds me of Liam Neeson's taken recently. Same thing, great actor, plus all the movie magic, plus solid script, equals great action movie!

老子

我在看 sicko 的光碟時看到 Tony Benn 提到老子,

"Years ago I came across a quotation by an old Chinese philosopher called Lao Tzu, who said, as to the best leaders - the people do not notice their existence. The next best - the people honour and praise. The next best - they hate. The next best - they fear. But when the best leader's work is done - the people say we did it ourselves. And that is my reading of how progress occurs."

我當時感覺有點奇怪, 這是老子的那一篇? 後來我去找了一下:

"太上，不知有之；
其次，親而譽之；
其次，畏之；
其次，侮之；
信不足焉，有不信焉。
悠兮其貴言。
功成、事遂，
百姓皆謂：我自然。"
(老子道德經第十七章)

我以前讀到的時候沒有多想. 聽到 Tony Benn 說 "我自然" 是 "they did it ourselves" 時, 我真是嚇一跳. 事後想想, 還真對. 一般來說, 我聽到自然的時候到想到是 nature. 但是中文的自然兩字合在一起, 實在是自己的樣子的意思! 這只是證明, 沒有把讀到的東西在用自己的話語講出來, 很難真的變成自己的東西, 永遠只能模模糊胡. 而白話文在這一將近一百年來的演變, 不知道在這裡是否有所說明?

offside

it is an Iranian movie about law that forbidden women to attain public football game. it had some light heart relief. i think this is the first time i saw an Iranian film. it was very interest to see how Iranian soldiers treated those Iranian women who tried to sneak in the football stadium. whenever these soldiers tried to restrict those women's movement, these soldiers would say that they were protecting these women from 100000 male spectators in the stadium. but this did not happen to just soldiers, but also other males. there was a scene in the very beginning on a bus, an older spectator told a younger one, who discovered that there's a female disguised as a male rather awkwardly, that stop staring at the young female. she was just like your mother and sisters...

this film was very human. i liked it quite a bit. it touches a social/political issue. but it did not use the issue to spur. it is gentle, but unafraid.

蹦出來的

修死不修生. 從媽媽那兒聽到的, 他是從白阿姨那兒聽到的. 媽媽現在常說白阿姨是對的. 我很同意.

一個談話

過去的這個星期六, 在 Julie 阿姨家吃烤肉碰到黃叔叔. 在談話中, 不知怎麼他說政府最重要的就是給民眾吃飽, 他說論語裡孔子有說過類似的一句話. 我說我只記得孔子說的足兵足食民信之. 然後我又依照足兵足食民信之的想法, 說, 給民眾吃飽好像不是最重要的. 我提到中共在大陸造成的大飢荒, 當時信息不通, 大部分的人都不知道有這事情. 所以我說, 只要政府可以把信息控制好, 不破壞民眾的信任, 政府不會怎麼樣的. 但是, 黃叔叔說, 不是的, 你和我說的是不一樣的東西. 你在說的是政府的控制手段, 我在說的是政府的基本義務. 當時我就開始糊塗了.

現在回想起來, 這是真的. 我所說的政府控制信息, 是政府的手段之一. 但是這讓我起了一個疑念, 那孔子說的民信之, 是手段嗎? 我猜不同的人一定會有不同的答案. 我個人的看法是孔子說的應該是一種狀態, 而不是手段. 我之前舉了中共的例子裡, 中共封鎖了訊息從而保持了民眾對政府的信任狀態. 但是, 應該有其他因素可以決定這個信任狀態的存在與否. 民眾對政治的參與感, 對政府能否解決問題, 自身的生活情況, 社會的正義情形, 等等, 應該都會影響這個狀態.