Ashby passed away

Hu Yin Ahyi's cat named Ashby passed away.  He was not my cat, but he'd been in my care for the past 2+ months, and I'd known him since he was adopted, 16 years ago.

I am very upset over his death.  I guess I always thought I am pretty good with taking care of cats, and yet, my cat went ill first, then Ashby.  It really grosses me out with myself.  I know a couple months before he came into my care, he was sick.  But when Hu Yin Ahyi brought him to me, he was alive and well.  She nursed him back to health.  I keep wondering if I mistreat the cat, maybe I was so stressed with my cat, I neglected Ashby in some way.

Ashby was such a gentle cat.  I remembered him being passed around during one of the morning salon at Hu Yin Ahyi's apartment.  Everyone of my uncle's friends get their turn to hold Ashby.  And he's patient with everybody.  I remembered 田艾倫阿姨, especially, for she loved Ashby very much.  Ashby was like a baby, melted in her arms, whilst she pet him and said, "he likes to be petted behind the ears." 

Hu Yin Ahyi would have a birthday party every year for Ashby, since he shared the same birthdate with Hu Yin Ahyi's sister.  Uncle's friends would gather around, pot lock style.  That became an event, almost every year, when May approaches, LKK would start chat among them, "when is Ashby's birthday this year?"  It's kind sad that I got my smart phone late, otherwise, I would have more pictures of this annual event.

For me, personally, I got my cat after my aunt and Hu Yin Ahyi, same year though.  One of the first thing I did after I got my cats was to bring them to Hu Yin Ahyi's old house, to meet Ashby.  That was one of the 2 of earliest collection of my cats.  Such an invaluable pictures.  Roger was there that day, he used his camera took those pictures.  My cats were busy exploring every corner of the house, and Ashby was like overwhelmed, did not know who to chase.  That was hilarious.  He was a little bigger physically.  My  cats were totally ignoring him, but he made his presence felt.  Their first encounter was just so cute!

I took care of Ashby occasionally when Hu Yin Ahyi's away for a weekend.  But by 2017, Hu Yin Ahyi started to make longer trips, to Taiwan, to her daughter's, and she let me stay at her apartment to take care for Ashby.  Then, after her daughter giving birth, Ashby started to stay at my house for longer period.  Ashby was such a smart cat, if you told him not to something, he will stop; though he did have his peeves.  If I called him by his name, he can discern the difference.  Baobao still not sure sometimes.  And it is absolutely heart melting when I hold Ashby.  I just felt such compete trust!  Sometimes, I cannot help but felt that Ashby's bloodline must be more domesticated than my cat.  I know Baobao complete trust me, but when I hold Baobao, he melts away for 10 seconds, then he started to move.  But not with Ashby!  I think it must be bloodline and culture by Hu Yin Ahyi, both nature and nurture!

This time when Baobao went into trouble, I immediately decide to let Ashby sleep in his own room at night.  Because I am not sure what happened to my cat, isolating Ashby was a precaution measure.  By doing it, I could prevent interactions without supervision.  I could reduce Ashby's exposure to my cat.  But I think it's all a moot point, for Ashby and Baobao trade their litter box right after I opened Ashby's room in the morning.   And by isolation, Ashby must feel ignored.

But now I think back, there were signs of trouble.  It took Ashby longer than previous time to break into my house.  He ate little until he's a week in.  I took a picture of Ashby and everyone was saying it's Baobao for the fur looked orange.  Then I find Ashby's gait was a bit different.  His elbow was a bit more out.  Then a week and half before he's heaving the ribs, I had difficulty holding him belly up.  He wanted to get out of that position.  Then, my mom started saying he's coat was not as shining as before.

After 1 day and half, I found out Ashby was heaving his ribs, I lined Hu Yin Ahyi asking if he's allergic to seafood.  No, he did not like seafood but not allergic.  I lined again next day, because I am not able to get Ashby to eat anything, and have difficulty administer medicine, and his breathing was labored.  I felt the situation was very serious, I even asked if I went to the vet and was asked about put Ashby down, what should I do?  Hu Yi Ahyi said can the doctor try to extend Ashby's life until she came back next Monday.  But when I tried to put Ashby in the carrier, he stunned me with his scream and the heaving chest was worse.  I decided not to go to the vet and told Hu Yin Ahyi.  After chatting with Roger in the afternoon, Hu Yin Ahyi decided to come home a week earlier.

After her arrival on Wednesday, we went to the vet right away.  After 5 minutes, Vet called us in the car(due to Covid-19), he suggested putting Ashby down.  When Hu Yin Ahyi asked if he could find someway to relax Ashby for few days.  The vet refused, saying there's fluid in the lung, even if he did get fluid out, it will be refilled after a few days.  Hu Yin Ahyi decided to bring Ashby home first.  I think it's a good choice, because Ashby could still enjoy a calm and familiar environment.  After I came home and told my mom, my mom said both her and I were under tremendous stress when Ashby's condition started to worsen.  She's very worried about Hu Yin Ahyi after 2 months of exhaustive caring of her grand daughter, how she's going to bear with the situation.  She thought Ashby should be put down.  Aunt called me and said the same thing, although she think if it's her, she would keep Ashby in the home as well.  I know first hand what it felt like to have a cat dying by my side.  When Baobao was suggested put down  by the vet, I brought him home thinking I don't want to shock Baobao and hopefully he could pass away in a familiar setting.  But before he came to be a little healthier, I was drunk in my tears and questions about my decisions.

The day before yesterday, Roger came by and picked up his gift for me, a cat tower, as a token for taking caring for Ashby in the past 2 months.  But I told him my cat is dying as well, thanks but no, thanks.  So he came by to pick the tower up.  He said they decided to put Ashby down at last.  I went to see Ashby the last time yesterday at noon.  Ashby was so thin, but when he hear me, he still came out to meet me.   I pet him lightly, he purred as a protest and went to lie down on the carpet under a desk.  Ashby never purred, until now.  Hu Yin Ahyi said that when Roger came yesterday and saw him crying.  She felt him really coming home.

Li Chung, wrote a long message to me, I do not know how to reply.  Now I can finally reply to her.

"Sorry, it took me sometimes to think of something to say. I went to see Ashby yesterday he's so thin and weak. He never really purred that much. But he purred a lot this time. I sometimes think he must come from a longer line of domestication. Because when I hold him, the way he melts into my arms, it's a trust that must be built for a long time. Of course, with your mom loving him, and you and Roger, I think nurture has it's effect as well. "