Friday, May 01, 2020

two incidents

I had 2 incidents with my mom recently.  I constantly having a feeling of her looking down upon me.  I told myself, if those words were spoken by other people, I won't feel as strongly. 

I was wrong.  Remember when I was at Charm?  I remember vividly.  There were instances in other people's words, a glance, or a gesture, I felt threatened or belittled.  And I was restless. 

So I know, it is I who look down upon myself.  Like old Chinese saying: "人必自侮, 而後人侮之."  I must've disrespect myself in ways that's beyond my realization. 

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