佩蘭阿姨的兒子在三年前就在問這個問題。 他似乎很想知道有關他母親的事情。 這個月佩蘭阿姨就寫了封信告訴她兒子，自己四十歲以前的歷程。 佩蘭阿姨娓娓道來，平舖直述，相信會給他兒子多一些瞭解。
The 1st 40 years of my life
Dwight asked me to tell him about the 1st 40 years of my life, because he was born when I was 40 and he said he would like to know my life before he was born.
40 years can not be briefly described in a few words, but I will write some what I think was important events, and hopefully these events can give Dwight some enlightenment.
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Whenever I thought about my childhood, a picture will show up that all of us kids were asleep, but my mother was writing letter under a very dim light to my dad far away.
My dad was a crewman for a national shipping company and left China for oversees just before the communist occupied the whole China and closed the door of the whole country. He can never return. At the time my oldest sister was 6, me and my twin sister was 3 and my younger brother was yet to be born.
I remembered my grandfather was always secretly listening to the radio trying to hear news from the other world to see if he can hear anything about his son. Almost everyday at lunch time there were local government officials come to visit and chatting with the adults, I think they were trying to find out my dad’s where about.
At my family my older sister knows how to please my mother and also to share feelings with her, so my mother was emotionally very close to her.
My mother was raised in a pretty rich family. Her father owned several clothing store. After emancipation, the store was closed, but my mother’s suitcase was filled with clothing material. At that time, people only wear black or gray, those colorful material was probably confiscated during cultural revolution.
During those years my grandparents were still young about 50+/- years. But my grandfather’s business had been failed and he has no income, when there is no information about my dad, we lost the income source. We can only pawn some house items and my mother worked on bookkeeping and knitting sweater to make money. I remembered that we had a very big table in the living room, on there laid many layers of bed sheets, and those bed sheets was cut into many shoe soles, everyone in the family sewed the shoe soles together for sale. My uncle often times contributes for our living expenses too. We later got connected with my dad through friends in Hong Kong, the happiest time comes when we received his letter and money.
While we were in the elementary school in China, we were told to pick up any kind of iron material in the streets, collected by school and turned to government to make iron tools. They also taught us to grow vegetables, and we had a practice garden. We also were trained to walk. I remembered the whole school slept in a big hall and get up real early to walk to a mountain nearby. Our school seems to emphasize the development of our physical and academic and practical learning. I was able to walking a lot since very young age.
It was early 1958, mother, me and my twin sister and my brother are leaving Suzhow to meet my dad! I think the reason my sister left behind was that it was the government policy to leave one behind, my sister was in the junior high and through education she believed in communism, so she was willing to stay. My mother said “when we are settled down, I will come back to take you.” however my mother and my sister was apart forever, after China opened door to the world, my sister brought her two daughters to Japan only to see my mother’s picture at my dad’s house in Japan! It was 1981. My mother was passed in 1980. My sister broke into cry very loudly.
When we left SuChou in 1958, it was Chinese New Year, our relatives and friends gave us a lot of candy and snacks for us to enjoy on the road. At that time everything has quota, my mother has to go to the market at dawn with her quota tickets in a big line to get every day needs. Only during Chinese New Year we have some extra, yet they gave their extra to us, what an unforgettable friendship. When we left China I remembered clearly that the boarder custom confiscated both mine and my twin sister’s gold ring on our fingers.
We left Suchow to Shanghai via train, we visited our uncle in Shanghai and continue to Guangzhou by train that was a three days and two night’s riding. Guangzhou looked very desolate at the time but we can see the other side of the river there are houses with bright lights, which was Kowloon or Hong Kong. Which gave me a deep impression.
We went to Macao via Steamship, I saw gentleman wearing suit and tie and they looked surprisingly handsome to me, in China, people wearing the gown or robe in same style and same color.
When we arrived Macao, we were received by Taiwan Salvation Association and treated as refugees. We lived in a Chinese family. My mother went to meet with association member often,(they need to make sure we are not spy) and we kids went to a refugee school.`That is indeed a refugee school, every classroom taught 2 grades, 1st & 2nd grades in one class, so was 3rd and 4th grades, and I was in the 5th & 6th grades classroom.
And between classrooms, there is no wall, just separated by iron wires, so I can hear the teacher speak at 3rd & 4th grade. We were provided some cookies every morning, but I do not remember what I had learned. Only remember they teach Abacus and English, but I didn’t remember the 26 letters of English when we left that school. However my brother, my twin sister and I all enjoyed it’s playground at the school.
Macao is a very quite little city, belonged to Portugal, there I have many “1st time” life experiences. For example, I saw a black man ( I think was from Congo) his eyes is super bright and his teeth was super white. I can still see him when I close my eyes. I was chasing by a dog; My grandmother raised cat but I have never seen a dog in China, once I saw a dog on the street, I was afraid and started to run and he was chasing, I was still trembling after I entered my house. I was afraid of dogs since then until I saw Clayton’s family, they all raise dogs and I learned to fond of dogs now. In Macao, there are lots of Papaya trees I have never seen before and the fruits of which tasted very strange to me to begin with, but I got to like papaya more and more, when we arrived Taiwan we are happy to find that papaya is abundant in Taiwan.
From Macao we passed by Hong Kong and arrived Keelung Port in Taiwan via steamboat, we met our dad. That was still 1958. I think my mother has to be the most emotional. I did not remember how I felt then, I believed when my dad saw his son at 9 years old the 1st time, he must felt overwhelmed!
After we arrived Taiwan, we learned that in Taiwan, the entrance examination is highly competitive, we started in the 5th grade, and study became our 1st priority. We finished elementary, middle school and high school and graduated from college. At the same time, at China, the other side of Taiwan Straits, people had lived through the 3-year famine, several political movement and most terribly The Cultural Revolution, when my mother heard that my sister has to stop schooling a the age of 16, she felt really hurt, even affected her health.
Our life in Taiwan was also under a tight budget, my dad at first was a manager of General Affairs on the steamship and back home every 6 month, later on he started to work in the office at Taipei, and then he was transferred to work in Tokyo Japan. My mother went to join him when my brother graduated from college and went to army training.
After I graduated from National Taiwan University, I worked as assistant for a professor for two years, then became demographic analyst in a project with United Nation in the Ministry of the Interior, when Taiwan withdrew from UN, I passed Taiwan High Examination and was appointed to work at highway department in the Ministry of the Interior. At that time, it was a trend for college graduates to study abroad, I followed the trend to pursuit a master’s degree in Agricultural Economics at University of Arizona actually to please my mother. That was 1974, I was 28 years old.
University of Arizona was located at Tucson Arizona. There the climate is like desert, it is very hot during the day and is very cold at night. I jointed Tuscon Chinese Bible Study Group and accepted Jesus into my life, it was there, the love and concern of brothers and sisters accompany me for the first two years of my studying in the foreign land. It had also improved my shy and reticent personality.
When I first considering to go abroad, I had decided that I have to preserve the one year tuition and living expense into two years, I can not save tuition, so I was in a strict budget for my living expenses. Luckily, I tutored Chinese language to the America Born Chinese children, and was paid $28.00 per month. That was my monthly living expense besides dorm rental. I remember at times I felt hungry in the afternoon and went to the student center, looking around and see people drinking coffee and eating dessert, I just filled a cup of water and pull in 3 little package of sugar and drink it. That is free. After I passed my theses presentation, I finally went to student center ordered a piece of pie. That summer, I was lucky to spent 3 months with a professor to do research and when I left Tucson I found my bank account has more then $5000.00 which was more then the $4400.00 in which $3600 I brought from Taiwan and my dad gave me $800 in Japan. I was very proud of myself.
I went to Lubbock to pursue PhD in Economics. I had Teaching assistant salary and so I was never worried about money thereafter. We had a round-table class in which our professor Dr. Taylor demand that every student participate in discussion and make comments in class, but I was too timid to join the discussion. An American student sitting beside the Professor told me after the class ” Polly, your round-table in class discussion grades are all zero” I finally realized that my personality is not suitable to become an Economist! I quickly changed my degree program and graduated as a master in economics.
However as a foreign student, if I want to stay in the US, I must find
a job and within 18 month I must get work permit and wait for green card (legal resident status). I found an accounting clerk job at a garage door shop, that is not a professional position and so it is hard to apply as H1 status. My employer said they will help me. At that time, I also joined Houston Chinese Church and their young people group.
In 1979 my mother came to visit my brother in Boston and me in Houston and back to TAIWAN to see my twin sister she just gave birth to her 1st son Jack. During that time, my mother had a fall and eventually had coma and passed away after a month stay in the hospital. She was only 60 years old. I quit my job before she passed and decided to go home to say bye to her. At the time I have no reluctant to give up my job, but according to the rule of green card application, I have to go back to the old job if I get my green card status. I called my attorney, he said he will transfer my application to American Institute in Taiwan.
I went back to Taiwan in 1980, after mother’s funeral I went to Tokyo to accompany with my dad and to organize my mother’s belongs. During the two months, I was feeling sad, but also very relaxed. Before leaving Taiwan I was referred to work for an economic research center by my professor in Taiwan University. My dad took me to see a lot of Japan’s attractions. After returned to Taipei, my work made me feel that I did not waste my degrees and as dignified as a professional now. However after more then a year, I received a letter from American Institute in Taiwan stating that I can interview for green card. But they said I must prove that I was not deported, I can turn in my airplane ticket as proof. But I did not keep my airplane ticket. I was not eager to return to the US, but I have to solve this problem. So first I called my former employer, they told me that I was welcome to go back to work at any time. The second, I called my attorney to tell him that I have to prove to the AIT that I was not deported, surprisingly he remembered my case, and I received a letter from him with a little note from US immigration in just two weeks! In the letter, he said “I went to immigration office and waited 3 hours to receive this little note, if it is useful to you and you come back to US, you can pay me the balance of $250, if you can not come back to US, you do not have to pay me.” I did own $250 from the total charge of $750 at the time. When I applied for the immigration status, the normal rate was $1800, he only charged 750, it was the lowest charge among all immigration attorneys. How lucky was I, I found the most responsible attorney. I passed the interview, by considering various reasons, I decided to return to the States.
I returned to my old job in 1982, and also returned to the Houston Chinese Church. I hoped to do some advanced accounting work, but I did not feel like to pursue another degree. I realized that I can just take 24 credits of accounting to sit in CPA exam. So I started to go to night classes to study accounting at University of Houston. At that time I was very busy working and studing. I met Clayton again in the Chinese Church, and we got married in 1984 and gave birth to Dwight in 1986. I was preparing exam while I was pregnant. I had a little bleeding, and required 3 days of bed resting, after 3 days, my employer asked me not to go back to work, I was laid off. When I am recollecting these memories, I felt the lay-off seems grief at the time but it was actually God’s blessing to me. I was laid off so that I have time to prepare for the exam, and finally I became a Certified Public Account in 1989. This certificate did not bring me wealth or fame, but afterwords, my employment was much smoother.
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Dwight, my life was not always smooth, I hope your life is better than mine, I want to remind you that if you believe in God, He will always be your help!