Thoughts on Movies

I just saw Wonder woman, War of the planet Apes, and Big Sick, and blade runner director's cut on DVD.

I also saw blade runner 2 and Thor: Ragnarok in theaters with George a couple months ago.

The one I truly liked was Big Sick.  The movie is a small time romantic and personal growth movie, set in real world.   The movie did not shy away from conflict, which is the reason I think it's great.  The subject includes tradition, religion, romance, etc...  The subjects are quite close to my heart.

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Wonder Woman was not a bad movie.  Some of the dialogues are quite endearing.  I like Chris and Gal's chemistry.  Chris is really a very talented actor, and Gal's more than enough to carry the character.  I kept watching it to the end.  For I wonder what's next?  But when I really get into the end, I was a bit let down.  The final show down was impressive.  But the message of the movie from that showdown was pathetic.

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War of the planet apes.  was fun to watch.  But the leadership cliche started to get annoy me.  

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Thor Ragnarok has some amazing fighting scenes.  Some dialogue maybe funny, but most of it is starting to feel like an inside joke.  

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Words before sleep

Why am I still looking my spreadsheet?  What is the purpose of this?  I could be reading, writing, or do anything else. 

I always felt weird about this world.  Like this world and I were isolated by a thin film.  In a way, This thin film might be something not awakened in my own heart. 

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some thoughts

Some thoughts(7/15/2017)

Came to McDonalds for breakfast.  Thinking of it for a long time.  Wanted to bring a laptop and do some writing as well.   Somebody was calling me out of the corner.  I turned and saw Uncle and Aunt with big smile.  They went to swimming early in the morning, came here for breakfast.  They were going to NH for mall walk afterwards.  Aunt told me to download Macdonald’s app, with coupons!  :D  I will do that! 

I’ve been wanting to come to McDonalds’ and writing for sometime.  Thoughts need to be materialized to see clearly.  Otherwise, the thoughts are like my dreams.  I don’t dream too much, or at least I don’t remember most of them, except the girl I loved, but that only lasts less a second. 

Thoughts are so hard to catch.  Catch and release, I need to release some thoughts as well.  But with this slow tongue, only tune could be sung.  I need to express by typing.  But even by typing, the thoughts still can’t flow smooth and non-stop.  I need to talk about something concrete at first. 

Last night

You must have no idea how happy I was to receive CJ’s message.  I drove back to Jo in frenzy, heart racing, and speeding.  I love that girl.  And yet, I can’t speak.  I can’t act.  I can’t seem to do anything.  The thoughts of her only bring out the thoughts of jealousy, hopeless, and worthless in me.  I love her.  The ultimate goal for love is not to own, but to see her having a life of happiness, satisfaction, adventure, and peace of mind. 

I saw her when Harry left.  She has worry all over her face(Harry drank, I don’t know how much).  I was jealous of Harry.  Very much so.  I was so glad to see Tina there.  I can feel the strength that she brought to CJ.  I was hoping to see Tina as well.  It seemed that CJ invited Tina.  Good girl.  Tina is 7 months pregnant, but Tina is still Tina!  And Jake is still Jake!  Loved it! 

I am sorry, but by writing this, I am filled with all the feeling I mentioned above. 

I had some hard liquors last night.  I was among CJ, Peiring, Jean, Tina, and Jake, the last ones to leave last night.  Jo’s party was fun, especially with the Volleyball.  But my goodness, some people’s shoulders were hurt.  It gave me a chill.  I still want to play volleyball, but how should I protect my shoulder? 

I went to Jo’s house early, to help out a little.  I get to help Jay, Jo’s hubby, to set up volley net and boundary.  I see a very methodical way to set this up.  Very interesting!  It’s almost like I was running through Jay’s mind!  It’s a beautiful thing though.  I like it!  Every step was thought though.  He and Jo are quite different.  They may be called complementary couple?  :p  They share something too though, otherwise, how would be they together?  They are cute together! 

CJ called earlier before I left the party to drive Mr. Wang home.  She was asking if we need cheese for she’s buying some crackers.  We found some brie, and other cheese in the fridge.  I told her, it’s alright, we just need cracker.  After I left Jo’s, I thought that I should take the cheese out of the fridge.  So I called Jo about it.  But she dismissed the idea, for she thought there are enough snacks. 

When I came back to the party, I saw a board of small crumbling of cheese.  I was glee. 

Warehouse

I felt Vic was laughing at me.  He made a joke about me still staying after I said I wanted to leave so many times.  I felt both frustrated and comical as well.  Frustrated, because, I want to leave, badly.  But the fear of leaving was great as well.  I don’t have a job in place yet.  Although I know I can work, but there are still many left to be desired.  I also wanted to go back to school.  I will have to choose.  To make a choice. 

It’s funny because I am the least useful person there.  Anybody left would leave a big hole right now, except me.  I am a clerk working in warehouse, where hard labor was needed, and consistency count.  All the computer work I did there will be replaced by barcode.  Any clerical job I did there would be automated, or filled by a high school student. 

Am I putting myself down?  I think so.  But how should I describe my role in the company?  IT is working invisibly; what he did was a mystery to me. But sitting in that tiny room is like sitting in a prison to me, and when computer go awry, everybody is looking at IT like, what the hell…    The engineers working day and night, in a literal sense, including weekends.  Logistics is working overtime almost every day.  And I heard something called, drop shipments, another mystery to me…  Customer service connects the company and customer directly day in and day out.  Not to mention how much Anne is an integral organic part of logistic, accounting, and warehouse as well!!  The accounting watch over everything, pouring through each transaction, not just big cost from factory, or late cash from customers, small details including shipping cost of 1 package as well!  Vic and Jose are working on designing and executing floor plan, shipping and receiving, general warehouse maintenance.  Bosses, well, they are doing major business decisions that would affect the lives of all above mentioned.  How do I fit in the whole scheme? 

For three years, I worked with Vic on floor plan as well, but I could only use my muscle.  Did I mention muscle?  I don’t have too much.  I worked with Vic, who mentioned one day after meeting with Alex that we need to do inventory count every time when we are picking Enidine.  At first I designed a very simple spreadsheet.  We printed it out on paper and record each transaction.  We started doing  that around the  four quarter of 2015.  After Aaron came to warehouse, in March 2016, we got new toys, 2 Chrome books.  I found out about Google Sheets.  It was a powerful tool for real time collaboration.  I designed a simple spread sheet in Google Sheets.  But alas, I drop the ball after I came back from my vocation after July in terms of keeping with inventory.  Everything seemed to speed up, more container were coming in, more ocean shipments were coming in, and plus new parts and big QTY at the end of year.  On top of that, Polysher and other 3D parts were ramping up as well, although Aaron tried his best to accommodate warehouse by implementing bar code system, quick, centralized shipping labels, and new toys.  But between shipping and receiving, inventory maintenance, and general Warehouse Maintenance and something extra, the whole thing was blown out of proportion.  I was slow to realize how frenzy was for the Warehouse, until Jo started to hire the temps, I finally had to admit, and there were so much we were not able to do before temps.   Starting last quarter 2016, Vic was working on new floor plan, we tried a few things, ATW, Valencia changed locations a few times.  Enidine shelf had new makeover.  So were Polysher and other 3D things.  I tried to streamline all the paperwork, including inventory sheet, packing list, pallet tags, pallet address stickers.  I was a very slow with excel, even slower in decision making.  Bob, our IT gave me tremendous help on the sheet, he put real time inventory on the sheet, which I believe is the quickest way to get accurate WOB and IQC QTY.  From this perspective, I did not really make the sheet, Bob did!  I designed packing list for Enidine.  I am trying to use packing list on Sigcom as well.  That sheet was helped by CJ in the beginning. 

I wish I could do more.  And to tell the truth, I want to feel that I did something.  But from the above paragraph, I did design one sheet, packing list.  But by golly, CJ could do this in less than one sitting…  And right now, a new challenge came up for the packing list which I did not see a way to defeat it yet.  I am thinking…Bob!!!!  When can we standardize QTY per box???

I just asked Bob to see if he could reduce steps in making the inventory sheet.  Because I was trying to teach both Vic and Jose to do the sheet, but I just found out, to make the sheet, it takes at least 12 steps!!  One thing I learned from these 3 years working in warehouse, anything that could be consistently done has to be easy enough to do, to access, and to repeat.  If the procedure is to remain 12 steps, I am not sure this will continue effectively. 

At the end, did I put myself down?  I work in warehouse, I do shipping and receiving; I hope I am a good auxiliary to Vic; I did a lot of transfers, lost a lot of transfer papers as well; I designed 2 spreadsheets to help warehouse, inventory sheet, with help of Bob, and packing list, which soon to be obsolete.  Maybe I could pull myself up a little.  I don’t have to feel so worthless, this is just a job, not enough to make a living, but to structure my life around it.  It is like last night, Tina kept telling me, I like to hustle in the volleyball.  I do like to hustle, I told her that this is the only thing I could do on volleyball court, I could sense she needs to find words to answer me.  I guess my words are meant to be humble, but people are scrambling to find words to reply.  I will say it again here, like Michele once said, I was only doing chores around warehouse.  Yes, hustling is all I really did.  I looked like a busybody, running around like crazy.  But I do say, working with every department is a pleasure.  I do get something in doing that! 

(But frankly, I don’t give a damn.  I just wish I could talk to her, make her relaxed, and I relaxed by her side as well.  I want to play with her, to caress her, just to be with her in general and feeling calm about it.)

I wrote the above sentences before I can really put my last assessment on the (putting down section).  To give an assessment somehow put my uneasy.  I guess I wrote this paragraph to comfort myself.  I still want her though.  Very very much so. 

睡前的靜思 四

媽媽曾說我把自己評得很低賤,所以總是希望得到別人的肯定.  我今天一直在想這句話.  原因就不用贅敘.  我覺得這句話有道理. 

但是, 我今天實在不想在自己裏面兜圈子...  算了.  就算有道理又怎樣? 

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最近看了一本書, Everybody Lies: Big Data, New Data, and What the Internet Can Tell Us About Who We Really Are.  沒看完, 看了個大概.  大體上就是說, 現在 google 和其他網上, 或著電腦收集的資料, 可以讓社會學家真的變成一們科學.  這個原因就是, 人們在網上絲毫不掩飾自己.  即使他們的言詞依然閃爍, 他們卻會用滑鼠點擊, 或者 google 搜尋來展現真實的自己.  

很有趣.  可以再借一次.  

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我還是在醉生夢死.  

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想要知道自己在 Yang's fitness 待了多久...  有無十年...  

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我在想那些我要放棄, 哪些我要堅持...  現在我要放棄上網, 我要堅持睡覺!!!!!!!!!!

睡前的靜思 三

今天早上, 公司有里民大會.  我看到 CJ , 我整個大會裏, 越來越難過.  我只想大聲的和她說我愛她.  只想把她揣在懷裡.看到她坐在哈利旁邊.我很難受.忌妒就好像赤焰一樣.我痛恨這種感覺.我最近不斷的想,如果我可以跟哈利一樣..就好了.看到他們倆在一起合作無間,我很痛苦.非常非常痛苦.我想自殺.我真的很想很想自殺.我完全不懂我為什麼要這樣受苦.我祈禱 CJ 有一個很好的朋友.  她倆很合, 無論是智商, 行為, 言語.  我懂她喜歡這種人.  我只是很希望自己是這種人....  而我不是.  我很想自殺. 

我討厭以上的想法...  一整天, 就只想逃避, 放棄.很多事在我都很容易放棄.唯獨這個...我真的不知道要怎麼辦.

我大概累了.  去睡吧.  反正每天都一樣. 

臨睡前的靜思 二

今天去又去打桌球了. 第三次吧.  一次都還沒有贏過.  不過還是打了好幾場. 我滿需要熱身的. 第一場球就和一個很厲害的中國人打.  很慘的. 他的反手實在很厲害. 用正手板...
和另一個人打, 他的發球我怎麼就是不能打回去...  都是側旋...  還和一個七十二歲的人打, 打了兩場,都輸了... lol 

打完球, 出來一看, 下雨了.   我還滿高興的. 

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早上起床仍然困難.  早上做完瑜珈後, 淋浴時, 在想, 要怎樣使我自己起床, 輕鬆容易...  不費力氣, 不傷心, 不留戀...  我有時候故意去看格鬥的影片.  因為這樣使我感覺想要競爭.  我覺得我始終都很想競爭.  但是, 當我可以贏的時候, 不知道為何, 總是缺臨門一腳.  我看那些影片, 只是想激勵自己...  le sigh... 

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耶穌說, 他的擔子是輕省的.  他的擔子是啥? 

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現在寫的這些, 感覺很不完整.  跟昨晚相比, 話說的很不清.  可惜. 

臨睡前的靜思

When I wake each morning, I feel terrible.  Truly terrible.  Feeling lonely, no expectation, or just plain lonely.  I would think of her.  Not really thinking thinking, just have a picture of her from previous moments when I saw her, or hear her.  Usually, with other people.  And it doesn't matter what they were doing, or how she interacted with them.  I have this insane jealousy and inadequacy.  This gave me a lot of sleepless night.  I could not get back to sleep.  I do not know what to do.  I want to see her, or hear her in my head.  If it's love, it should motivates me.  But it only gave me sadness!  In sadness, there is no power in me.  Energy sacked.  Memory lost.  So then, I know, the feeling for her, must not be love.  It is those obsession that because I can't have it, my thoughts stock on it. 

So I am here to prepare myself.  I want myself to remember something, maybe it's some memory that would make me happy; maybe it's some words I've seen that worth re-uttering.  And if her imagine came up again, tell myself, I love her, I love her, let me be clear about it.  Treasure this feeling, but let it motivates me throughout the day.  Because, she's enduring the real hardship.  Not me.  She is doing something for her love.  I, need to learn how to love!  I need to learn!  So the first thing, is to let it go.  Let the obsession go.  Learn to love, let the obsession go. 

榕. 今天你和你的朋友忙了一整天.  希望你睡好.  做個好夢. 我是這樣希望的.  明天, 我知道你總是好好過日子.  我, 要學著如何過我的日子.  Sofiya 提醒了我.  我得學會.  謝謝你的出現. 

Learn to love, let the obsession go! 

My thoughts on Movies

Hacksaw Ridge:

I had high hope before watching Hacksaw Ridge.  But it underwhelmed a little.  I probably was hoping for something like Passion of Christ.  HR gave me a feeling more similar to Apocalypto.  It was a well made movie, there were some very good moving scene, but at the end, I could not feel the impact. 

The battle scenes were quite big.  But the impact was different from Saving Private Ryan, since the advertisement kept comparing HR to Saving Private Ryan.  Since HR was really more about one individual's struggle.  That struggle is very unique. 

I don't feel the movie is a great religious movie.  It's more of personal conviction thing.  I am quite moved by the father's effort to help his son.  I find it impressive that this conscience objector would choose to go to the war without weapon.  Maybe it's showed uniqueness of USA. 

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Jason Bourne

I did not think this would be too great.  But it turned out alright.  I guess, expectation does make the viewing a bit different. 

The action sequence of car chases were simply amazing.  I watched the feature, in which I agree that by putting a lot of computer technology in the movie, it made the movie more relevant to today's world, comparing to the last installment 10 years ago.  I liked the plot quite a bit.  The female antagonist was very adequate, her ambivalence was hard to grasp.  Tom Lee Jones' role however, was compromised.  I felt it's role here is repetitive.  His death is meaningless, the evilness he represented here is shallow at the best.   Whenever Jason and CIA director interacted, I felt I was watching soap opera...  repetitive and monotonous. 

The movie was pretty good though.  The ending to me was quite satisfying.  It actually made me looking forward to the next one... if there is any... 

伊於胡底

這是有一回, 媽媽從舅舅家回來之後, 媽媽說的. 

仔細情況怎樣, 我有點忘了.  好像是, 那一天外公的情況不是很好.   顯得有點糊塗.  媽媽起床和舅舅講述前晚的情形.  講著講著, 媽媽感覺真是的莫可奈何.  於是就說了一句, "伊於胡底".  舅舅聽不懂. 

媽媽回來問我.  我也沒聽過.  媽媽雖然知道意思和來源, 卻有點忘記典故了.  於是我們就一起上網查.

來源是詩經的一段:

詩經小雅谷風小旻中的一段原文：

潝潝訿訿，
亦孔之哀。
謀之其臧，
則具是違。
謀之不臧，
則具是依。
我視謀猶，
伊于胡底？


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全文 

詩經·小雅·小旻之什·小旻

旻天疾威，敷於下土。謀猶回遹，何日斯沮？謀臧不從，不臧覆用。我視謀猶，亦孔之邛。

 

　　潝潝訿訿，亦孔之哀。謀之其臧，則具是違。謀之不臧，則具是依。我視謀猶，伊於胡厎？

 

　　我龜既厭，不我告猶。謀夫孔多，是用不集。發言盈庭，誰敢執其咎？如匪行邁謀，是用不得於道。

 

　　哀哉爲猶！匪先民是程，匪大猶是經。維邇言是聽，維邇言是爭。如彼築室於道謀，是用不潰於成。

 

　　國雖靡止，或聖或否。民雖靡膴，或哲或謀，或肅或艾。如彼泉流，無淪胥以敗。

 

不敢暴虎，不敢馮河。人知其一，莫知其他。戰戰兢兢，如臨深淵，如履薄冰。


翻譯:

　　蒼天蒼天太暴虐，災難降臨我國界。朝廷策謀真僻邪，不知何時能止歇。善謀良策難聽從，歪門邪道反不絕。我看朝廷的謀劃，確是弊病太多些。

　　小人嘰喳攻異己，是非不分我悲淒。若有什麼好謀略，他們全都不肯依。若有什麼壞計策，他們全都會同意。我看朝廷的謀劃，不知弄到何境地。

　　占蔔靈龜已厭倦，謀劃再不向我談。謀臣策士實在多，就是沒有好意見。議論紛紛滿庭中，指出弊病有誰敢！就像謀劃要遠行，真到路上沒效驗。

　　如此謀劃我悲痛，古聖先賢不效法，常規大道不遵從。近僻之言王愛聽，膚淺之見紛聚訟。就像宮室建路上，當然不會穫成功。

　　國家雖然沒法度，人有聰明有糊塗。人民雖然不富足，還有明哲有善謀，有能治國有嚴肅。就像長流那泉水，不讓衰敗與陳腐！

　　不敢空手打虎去，不敢徒步過河行。人們隻知這危險，不知其他災禍臨。面對政局我戰兢，就像面臨深深淵，就像腳踏薄薄冰。

 

(錄自:  http:   //   www.zwbk.org/MyLemmaShow.aspx?zh=zh-tw&lid=7865   1

  

媽媽的食譜

蓮子,白木耳,冰糖煮熟.
大豆煮軟.
待涼.

放到 blender 加水(或是那些剩下的湯汁), 白芝麻(也可以加黑芝麻, 或著枸棋) 打碎. 


 很好喝. 

a quote i saw at a flower shop

When I saw you
I fell in love,
and you smiled
because you knew. 

it was credited to Shakespeare, but in reality it should be credited to an Italian play by Arrigo Boito who wrote the play based on "the merry wives of windsor", by Shakespear.

The original phrase in Italian is :

Come ti vidi
M’innamorai,
E tu sorridi
Perchè lo sai.


Just some fun facts.

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Today was really nice.  I hope 榕, 如果去工作, 希望有機會可以跟 Harry 他們去玩玩.

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  I felt that I worked all day.  Cleaning, Gluing refrigerator door shelf, Warehouse labels by connecting excel with word.  But just by listing them, I only worked half day really.  And they were mostly chores, which is necessary, nothing extra...  But the feeling of working all day seemed to make chores important and heavy load.  they are illusion though...  le sigh.

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What's going on

What is happening:

1. I just finished medical interpreter certificate program.  Passed the exam.  Preparing to get my resume done over the weekend.  And prepare to find other job as well.  Any job will do. 


2. Having temps in the warehouse since early this year.  It's not easy to find a permanent worker from temps...  We have 2 temps, been working close to 3 months now.  They are young and unruly sometimes.  I felt Vic likes them though.  I bet he's lonely and bored these 3 years.  lol  le sigh... 

3.  Just had a quick thought, constantly thinking about work and CJ is maybe a blanket, a disguise to cover the real issue, which I do not want to face and challenge myself.  Being sad was a good excuse to give up.  I am very lonely though...  That loneliness maybe caused by my greed...  Don't go that way now... 

4. I find myself at a constant pickle.  I could not find enough time to finish what I wish to finish at work...  Kept distracted by small things.  Both Jose and Chris, both the temps, mentioned that I would stop communicating at some point, maybe during a conversation, or explaining something...  Did I lose concentration?   I felt I was doing a lot of self correction internally.  How Do I stop that? 

5. I always thought I was not bad at communicating.  But after these 3 years, I found I am really bad at it.  Jumpy is what Harry described me, in terms of reaction.  Stop the conversation mid way through a explanation, that's what Jose was telling me today.  Chris told me communication was the key, a month ago.  Temps might mean half jokingly.  But I consider it's a serious concern.  Internalizing too much.  After the filter, there's not much coming out.  Or what came out is broken, unclear, no connection, make no sense.  Have to let the river f low.  But I want to be proper and accurate. 

6.  I've seen Vic teaching those temps, very thorough, slow, and detailed.  He will state his thought, to the point and repeatedly.  But he did not shy away from tongue lashing either. 

7. Today, I sinked into sofa at 7, went up stairs and watched porn and masturbated once.  The whole time, I was watching myself.  It was a really weird process.  When I went to sofa, I was meant to rest a little.  Although I did not have a clear goal of what's to do next.  Then I started to read manga, until 830.  Then somehow I felt horny...  le sigh.  I want to let this feeling subside, watched clips, and release.  Right after the action, I regretted.  But what is there I could do?  My question is why did I not rest as I intended?  I consider that a key question.  Rest, pal... The more I sat idly without rest, the restless I would become. 

8. I want to learn to love.  I do not want to be sad.  When I think of 榕, I felt sad.  When I talked to her, I almost always express my concern of her well being.  I do worry.  But I want to my presence or my memory to be a happy one, which could bring smile on her face.  If there's a memory to start with.  I want to love, not sad. 

9. From now on, if I was on sofa, I sleep.  Or anything with a time limit.  Otherwise, like reading, watching youtube, using computer, etc, doing them in front of my desk or dining table. 

10.  Write a personal work list when I enter Warehouse.  Finished them is my priority, not whatever I wrote on the white board. 

11.  Construct a letter through out the working house in Warehouse, addressed to my mother, or Noz, or whatever.  Find topic to talk.  Practice.  I need to learn to talk. 

12. 

Because of her 2

魁儡馬戲團
超智遊戲
最高機密

Random thoughts

Even now, 5:38 am, alone with my cat, I am still hiding.  I am lying to myself.  But what is that you want me to do?  I already admit my crime, Crimes!  What is this constant attack for? 

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no consistency

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榕

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榕

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Warehouse exit strategy:

part time
improve any computer operations
3D Model of Warehouse
Map of Warehouse

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榕

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When you are old

When you are old

william butler yeats

When you are old and grey and full of sleep,

And nodding by the fire, take down this book,

And slowly read, and dream of the soft look

Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;

How many loved your moments of glad grace,

And loved your beauty with love false or true,

But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,

And loved the sorrows of your changing face;

And bending down beside the glowing bars,

Murmur, a little sadly, how Love fled

And paced upon the mountains overhead

And hid his face amid a crowd of stars.

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莫文蔚

當你老了

作詞：william butler yeats, 趙照
作曲：趙照

當你老了 頭髮白了 睡意昏沉
當你老了 走不動了
爐火旁打盹 回憶青春

多少人曾愛你 青春歡暢的時辰
愛慕你的美麗 假意或真心
只有一個人 還愛你虔誠的靈魂
愛你蒼老的臉上 的皺紋

當你老了 眼眉低垂
燈火 昏黃不定
風吹過來 你的消息
這就是我心裡的歌

當你老了 眼眉低垂
燈火 昏黃不定
當我老了 我真希望
這首歌是唱給你的

兩首詩 Pushkin

I loved you

I loved you, and I probably still do.
And for a while, my feeling may remain...
But let my love no longer trouble you,
I do not wish to cause you any pain.
I loved you, and the hopelessness I knew,
The jealousy, the shyness - though in vain -
Made up a love so tender and so true
As may God grant you to be loved again.

(Original Russian:

Я вас любил: любовь еще, быть может
В душе моей угасла не совсем;
Но пусть она вас больше не тревожит;
Я не хочу печалить вас ничем.
Я вас любил безмолвно, безнадежно,
То робостью, то ревностью томим;
Я вас любил так искренно, так нежно,
Как дай вам бог любимой быть другим.)

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Night

My voice, to which love lend a tenderness and yearning,

Disturb night's  dreamy calm...  Pale at my bedside burning,

A taper wastes away...  From out my heart there surge

Stift verses, streams of love, that hum and sing and merge.

And, full of you, rush on, with passion overflowing.

I seemed to see your eyes that, in the darkness glowing,

Meet mine... I see your smile...  You speak to me alone,

My friend, my dearest friend...I'm yours...your own. 

(Original Russian:

Ночь

            

Мой голос для тебя и ласковый и томный

Тревожит поздное молчанье ночи темной.

Близ ложа моего печальная свеча

Горит; мои стихи, сливаясь и журча,

Текут, ручьи любви, текут, полны тобою.

Во тьме твои глаза блистают предо мною,

Мне улыбаются, и звуки слышу я:

Мой друг, мой нежный друг... люблю... твоя... твоя!... )

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Both from Chocolate wraps...  :)

Thoughts on movies

captain fantastic:

a movie about a father leads his children with his ideal, living in the woods, hunting, farming...  far far away from other people, and outside world, until his wife's death... 

A very fun movie to watch.  Conflicts happened within family, with father's sister's family, with in laws.  One of the best scenes was when the father and father's sister trying to explain the death of the wife, that scene was brilliant!  But what came out for me was the togetherness of the father's family and the independent of each individual in the family.  Most of all though, the movie showed love, through children's tolerance of their father, sister's never waiver effort in talking to the father, and father's decisions in making compromise in the end.  I love this movie. 

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Only Yesterday,

a movie about a Japanese lady realizing her love of countryside, and a man on a journey while she recalling a lot of her memory at 10 years old.   it is an anime by 宮騎駿. 

This movie is slow and delicate.  it showed many detail in  little girl's life, her first time having pineapple, first period, first and last time, her father slapped her.  The independence of this lady was overwhelming.  From her youth, she is different.   The pacing of the movie was slow for me.  But because of the protagonist's uniqueness, I was very much engaged the whole time.  Japanese anime really is different from other world's cartoons.  The extreme thoughtful setup, like many of the memory sequence was delicately portrayed.  The blurred line and blank space, was really a nice way to express a certain memory.  The narrative of a mature woman and a young girl seemed to be a continued line without too much interruption.  Even at age 27, the lady does not have boy friend, spent her vacation working as a farmer in a countryside...   The music in the movie was special as well, they used a lot of periodical music in japan.  I loved that!    I loved the ending as well. 


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The edge of seventeen

It is a movie about a 17 year girl, with her best friend and her brother together, felt a crisis on hand. 

I loved this movie.  The narrative was purely from that girl's perspective, how she felt, what she saw, what did she do...etc.  I wanted to watch this movie because of woody harrelson.  but what i saw was way beyond him.  a refreshing script, and great acting.  The movie showed by her perspective.  But without being one sided.  The actress in the movie was purely fantastic, grasped the character's mood really well. 

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Logan

i went to theater in the morning, expecting little crowd.  It was filled up! Last portrayal of wolverine by hugh jackman. 

The movie was gritty, real, and filled with emotion.  I heard one of the review said it's like the new batman movie!  I whole heartedly agreed.  I do not know why I love this movie.  The hero was beat down to the ground, the air of hopeless was immense.  Yet, the emotion between professor X, Wolverine, and the girl was such a plot to lure me in! 

I love this movie. 

Homework 2

運動與我

今天和小瑋通電話.  電話裏,他認為自己是如此的重視健康, 很注意吃得好, 也稍微有些運動.  效果卻沒有和付出的努力成正比.  小瑋對於健康老出毛病, 很懊惱.

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我常常對媽媽說, 我有甚麼好的, 都是媽媽努力的結果.  我會騎腳踏車, 會游泳, 會打桌球, 籃球, 等等的運動, 我母親都是後面那隻推動的手.

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我對我自己小時候的印象就是, 孱弱, 難帶.  大概, 沒有比我更難帶大的孩子了.

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我的外婆, 根據媽媽的說法, 是長年跑醫院的病人.  在我的記憶裏, 外婆是早上看個醫生, 中午看個醫生, 下午看個醫生.  而且, 如果這個醫生有名氣, 醫生到哪, 外婆就到哪.

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媽媽的家人裏, 幾乎都沒有運動習慣.  除了我老媽已外.  在一張老舊灰照片裏, 白沙灣上, 我媽, 媽媽的孿生妹妹, 和舅舅作在沙灘上.  我媽媽穿著泳衣, 佩蘭阿姨穿著裙子和襯衫, 舅舅著泳褲.  佩蘭阿姨是不會運動的.  舅舅畢竟是男的, 又當過海軍陸戰隊, 他會游泳.  我媽媽呢, 他是會游的.  我也和舅舅和舅媽打過乒乓球.  舅媽一看就是會打的, 但是, 舅舅就不行了.  我和媽媽也打過, 她也不會打, 但那是他將近七十了.  媽媽年輕的時候很活躍, 太極拳, 瑜珈樣樣來. 

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我很喜歡運動.  對我來說這並不只是健康的來源.  更是愉快的回憶.  我似乎只有在運動的時候才能夠感受到那種和別人無阻礙似的溝通.  這是一個既喜且悲的認知.  因為, 只有在和別人玩的時候, 我才能夠進行溝通.  而這種玩, 又必須是一種體力活.  運動完之後, 我的人際關係卻是一蹋糊塗.  幾乎沒有溝通的渠道.  至少我本人感到某種的困難和不足.

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我在這公司以工作三年了. 有時候會晚回來.  因為公司有個桌球桌, 下班之後可以和一些同事打打球.  有時候我打球打的忘了時間, 無論多晚, 她總是等我回來吃飯.  這個時候她也要抱怨, 我實在應該打電話, 如果要晚點回來的話.  有時候談打桌球這件事, 媽媽總會問, 你算不算是會打的一個?  我也總是回答, 當然嘍.  我的確算是會打.

想想,小的時候, 媽媽帶我和妹妹去各種運動營, 籃球, 游泳, 桌球...  我小時候最好的回憶幾乎都是運動.  在媽媽的帶領下, 我和妹妹在小學時代幾乎是天天游泳.  所以到了國中的時候, 我可以和其他人並肩行動.  對於高中的印象, 除了 ESL, 就是籃球.  和 Sky, Roger, 和其他人, 我高中只要有空檔, 幾乎全是籃球.  甚至, 獨自練習也在所不惜.  是的, 籃球, 以一項團體活動而言, 我現在都只拿來作有氧運動的個人練習.

我很喜歡運動.  對我來說這並不只是健康的來源.  更是愉快的回憶.  我似乎只有在運動的時候才能夠感受到那種和別人無阻礙似的溝通.  這是一個既喜且悲的認知.  因為, 只有在和別人玩的時候, 我才能夠進行溝通.  而這種玩, 又必須是一種體力活.  運動完之後, 我的人際關係卻是一蹋糊塗.  幾乎沒有溝通的渠道.  至少我本人感到某種的困難和不足.  這也是我現在那麼喜歡打桌球的一個原因吧.  在運動裏, 幾乎一定是有往有回.  這似乎滿足了我在溝通上的某種欲望.

運動又分兩種, 一種是遊戲性的, 多半要兩人以上才能做.  一種是加強身體強度的練習.  後一種運動是不能和前一種運動分開的.  因為加強身體強度的運動, 是保護自身的措施.  這樣, 在參加遊戲性運動時, 才不容易受到傷害.  這是我多年以來, 玩籃球, 常常受傷, 現在又做瑜珈, 身體竟然慢慢恢復某些強度之後有一點體會!  而現在網路發達, 常常可以看到一些運動員, 對於後一種運動的努力.  這也大大啟發我!  所以我逐漸增加一些其他的項目.  像是, 舉重和踩腳踏車.  最近的目標是希望可以再一次開始游泳.

我記得幾年前我去德州 Wendy 家.  佩蘭阿姨也順道從哈林郡來看我.Wendy 帶我們出去玩.  回來的路上, Dwight 提議去玩籃球.  結果, Charles 真的開著車找到一個籃球場.  我們和 Wendy 的小孩們還真玩的一會兒.  Wendy 和佩蘭阿姨在旁邊照像.  兩個小姑娘, 又笑又跳.  Dwight 本來滿安靜的, 在玩的時候, 卻輕鬆下來, 全心的享受這個時光.  我也是一樣!  在場上的笑和鬧, 大家在一個場上齊心做一件事, 我喜歡這樣的時光. 

thoughts on movies

Hell or high water:

It's a great movie!   Story telling in movies cannot be better than this.  The cinematography is beautiful.  The soundtrack is befitting.  However, the acting is off the chart.

The first time I watched this was on my uncle's new TV.  The graphic shown on that TV was so washed out.  It looked so fake.  I was taken aback a little bit.  I am guessing that the hi def on that awesome TV somehow made the movie looked like an indie film of some sort...  I hope Ang Lee's new movie would not be like that...  I did not finish the movie that night though, due to some personal things. 

Anyway, I kept the movie until it past the due date.  Since I cannot return the movie until Tuesday, I watched it last night with my mom.  It looked oddly beautiful on my TV.  I never thought that graphic would bother me that much until last night.  But once I "solved" the graphic issue, this became incredible, especially after jeff bridge showed up.

The story was kept simple enough.  But the outcome kept me guessing.  Most of the bank heist movie involved high tech, or incredible smart people, and intricate plot lines.  But this movie did not show too many of that.  It is a modern western with a kind of straight forwardness.  But because its bluntness, I am not sure how this movie would eventually turn.  The whole thing was driven by characters.  Characters are hard to guess, especially with ben foster's incredible insane performance.

As always I read some reviews after I watched the movie.  Most of them mentioned how close the movie represent the USAn heartland.  I am not experienced with that too much.  So I cannot say much about it.  But one of the last lines of the movie reminded me what this movie could represent in terms of social aspect throughout the human history.

"Toby Howard: I’ve been poor my whole life, like a disease passing from generation to generation. But not my boys, not anymore."

This line, does not just represent a sentiment of Usan people from midland.  But to all the poor people around the world...