Still Alice Impression

I read Still Alice a couple months ago.  It was a good book to read, really.  The author has an easy and crisp style.   I felt like whatever author wanted to convey, I could easily grasp them.  The characters are well defined, they all have a distinct feels.

There are many things impressed me in that book.  But there's one thing I kept going back.  The distance the husband showed when he found out that it's true and irreversible fact.  He seemed to want to try to stay as before, like nothing had happened.  He even want to change the environment and career with his wife!  It seemed so inconsiderate to the sick.

I felt like I've seen it somewhere.  Getting distance does not necessarily mean to be far away.  My silence could also meant that.  My ignorance of life could mean the same thing as well.  This drives me nuts.  I wish  I could be more passionate, more filled with joy.  Above all,  I wish I could feel compassionate towards my mother.  I felt I must be aloof and distance towards her.  For, I am silent around her, and ignoring life at the same time.  It must make her felt insecure deeply.

Uncle once said something, it seems to me that he meant there are a lot of stuff, he wanted to accomplish, but could not.  It could be due to time, or slacking off, or something else.  I felt that too.  I always have some ideas popped into my mind, but after a while, I'd forget what it was.  Then there would be times when I felt I got nothing to do and lonely, I would be scratching my head, pulling my hair, heart and belly all boiling, without knowing what to do!  I need to make a to do list.  So when those times come, I  could held my list and at least, knowing that I had options!

By doing the above thing, what I wished to accomplish was, by doing those things, I could felt a bit useful, strengthening my psychological fortitude, by not forgetting what I meant to do.  Not the things, the company requires of me, not the things my family requires me, or friends, for that matter.  But something I wish to do!  I hope I could find out it, are them worth it, or not.  If it's worth it, keep it; if it's not, kick it.

The passion for life, must be deep within.  Through action, by completing them, I hope a visualization would keep the inner fire burning.