lyrics

望春風

作詞:  李臨秋
作曲:  鄧雨賢

目前流行歌詞版本
獨夜無伴守燈下，清風對面吹
十七八歲未出嫁，當（音dng）著少年家
 果然標緻面肉白，誰家人子弟
想要問伊驚歹勢，心內彈琵琶
想要郎君作尪婿，意愛在心裡
等待何時君來採，青春花當開
聽見外面有人來，開門該看覓
月娘笑阮憨大獃，被風騙不知

• 驚歹勢：害怕不好意思

最早原版歌詞
獨夜無伴佇燈下 清風對面吹
十七八未出嫁 見著少年家
果然標緻面肉白 誰家人子弟
想欲問他驚呆勢 心內彈琵琶
思欲郎君作尪婿 意愛在心內
等何時 君來採 青春花當開
忽聽外頭有人來 開門該看覓
月老笑阮怣大獃 被風騙不知

freezing cold

I went to see a disney movie called Frozen.  It was really good.  It seemed like a trend Mulan to rapunzel, from brave to now frozen.  Of all these movies, it kept showing a girl with strong will.  They  can take initiation, very active, filled with dreams and courage and ability to acted it out.  All the men are either dumb, cute, or without not much goals.  Interesting. 

But I have to say that frozen is really well made.  There's something strike me in the core.  I love the song where elsa sing about a storm inside her brewing.  I like the twist where an act of love is no longer a kiss from lovers.  I love that a true between a man and a woman is no longer a love at first sight but through experiences endured by both parties.  everyone has a good amount of motivation that audience can understand.  Compared with brave, the solution to the fundamental problem in the movie was answered properly. But of course, brave's problem was much harder to solve, because the conflict was between two main characters which was very real and direct.  The  conflict in Frozen was not really between the two main characters, it was mainly in elsa herself. 

I was surprised that this is a movie with songs.  but maybe I was being naive.  it is a disney movie, what was I thinking.  The songs were mostly ignorable though.  I was glad to see the little classic cartoon before the main title.  It's a smart remix of old cartoon and modern style.  A good throwback really.  That reminds of me old movie procedure.  I do felt a bit uncomfortable with those violence mimicked in comical way.  I felt weird, I should be desensitized against it by now.  That said something of old humor, of the old times, and of myself as well. 

某一天和其他

不怎麼想寫, 但是, 還是得找人談談.  不斷的想在自己的部落格上寫, 總是沒能夠開始.  我想有個對象, 或許比較容易寫出來. 

今天下午一點半到舅舅家.  舅舅全家不在, 我叫了兩聲都沒人, 脫了鞋子正準備往裡看看.  媽媽偷偷的跑到客廳, 從他的皮包裡拿出三四張紙給我看.  還要我別要出聲, 說, 希望外公可以睡午覺, 如果他看到我, 他又不睡了. 

四張紙上, 媽媽寫了大大的字:

1.  你一天到晚說我什麼都不懂, 我一天到晚為你做菜, 想你x什麼.  你為什麼一天到晚說我什麼都不懂.  你每天高興的事就是罵我. 

2.  現在除了老王做麵食給你, 只有我在替你想給你吃什麼.  但是, 你天天只會說我什麼都不懂. 

3.  我尊重你是我老爸, 也請你尊重我, 天下沒有什麼都懂得人, 也沒有什麼都不懂得人(除了白痴).  每個人懂得東西也許不一樣而已. 

4.  你敢罵蕭雲嗎? 

看完後, 媽媽說他今天大發脾氣.  他說自從那以後, 外公都很安靜.  他自己也躲到房間內裝睡, 希望外公也去睡覺.  所以, 我也馬上就走了. 

快 四點的時候, 媽媽才回到家.  是的, 陪了一個晚上後, 他又陪到將近四點.  舅舅, 舅媽回來後, 媽媽除了第四張紙沒給舅媽看, 其餘的都秀出來.  舅媽禮貌的回應, 說也給舅舅看, 大家都知道舅舅是不會要看的.  舅舅的反應只是, 老人都是這樣.  另外, 舅舅還說, 現在他的身體還好, 沒檢查出啥大毛病, 但是萬一他有個三長兩短, 舅媽是不會照顧外公的.  到時候, 一定是住到我們家. 

媽媽 回家後在沙發上慢慢跟我說到底是怎麼一回事.  早上我去的時候似乎都還好啊, 媽媽幫外公寫通訊簿.  媽媽說一切都還要等到中午.  中午到了, 要準備吃飯, 媽媽本來想切個肉絲, 肉丁啥的.  之前在舅舅的冰庫裡看到一塊肉, 以為可以用, 結果拿出來一看, 03/2012, 不敢用了.  又放回冰庫去.  因為不知道舅媽是怎麼樣的作業程序.  至少, 媽媽是不敢用了.  可是這樣一來, 家裡著實無啥東西可吃了.  除了早上媽媽煮的一鍋稀飯, 還有外公上星期吩咐要蒸的棗子.  剩下的, 就是媽媽昨天去老人中心做義工帶回來的一些洋芋泥.  哦, 還有媽媽昨天晚上很累的時候做的燒餅.  燒餅, 也是外公前兩個星期提到的.  他似乎懷念在蘇州出門就有燒餅吃.  他從一塊錢吃到三塊五.  所以上星期中, 我到 youtube 找了一個影片, 昨天我下班回來, 他即使很累仍堅持要做.    成品很脆, 媽媽帶了四個去, 外公說他咬不動.  媽媽也帶了一些肉鬆.  早上沒吃肉鬆, 可是現在看看實在沒啥食物, 外公也只好吃吃肉鬆.  外公說他不吃肉鬆, 因為外婆不能吃油,, 所以他這十幾年也跟著不吃了. 

在問清楚舅舅舅媽或著是毛和 Michele 不回來吃飯, 午飯也就跟著開始.  照慣例, 所有外公吃的東西都要是滾燙的.  一開始, 一盤肉鬆擺在外公面前.  洋芋泥拿在微波爐裡, 翻來覆去熱了四次, 總算夠燙了.  媽媽想, 外公喜歡吃燙的, 就把肉鬆擺開, 把滾燙的洋芋泥放到他面前.  外公看到肉鬆時已經開始唸了.  現在肉鬆挪開, 看到洋芋泥擺在他眼前, 他好像被侮辱了一樣.  開始 "教訓" 媽媽:  這芋泥是最賤的東西, 連白飯都比它強.  你啊, 就是不學, 所以啥都不懂.  竟然把這玩意兒替代了肉鬆!  接著就是長達一小時的 "訓話".  媽媽說他一開始也忍. 一小時後, 外公還在說, 他終於忍不住了, 他在紙上寫到, 我也是北一女出來的, 也在立法院做過事, 怎麼會啥都不懂.  外公看了, 笑笑, 輕描淡寫的說: "這北一女算是白讀了."  我認為這句話, 是深深刺傷他的心.  但是, 外公是不停的.  他繼續說他的.  再說下去, 不只怎地, 又講到溫家寶說的, "中國人就是沒常識!"  這句話我印象是很深的.  因為就是他講這句話, 讓在蘇州的沈阿姨笑也笑不下去, 飯也吃不下去.  而我幾乎氣的要摔筷子的那個晚飯.  媽媽這時是再也忍不住了.  手一拍在桌上, 就站了起來, 用力的寫下以上這些字句.  然後收了碗筷, 站在洗碗槽前直跺腳.  外公看到這情況, 就安靜了.  只是喃喃的說, "就父女倆說說話嘛..." 

媽媽說, 以前和外婆也是一樣.  但是講的內容不一樣.  外公是不會說外婆啥都不懂, 但是, 他會說錢.  外公會說都是因為你, 所以錢不夠用, 錢全花在醫藥費和醫生上了.  說啊說, 外婆是不回嘴的.  直到最後, 外婆受不了了, 就大發一場脾氣.  那時, 換外公安靜了.  這事媽媽不只講過一遍, 但是, 確實是這一兩年內媽媽才提到的.  之前, 他不肯談. 


--------------------------------------------------------


母 親在上星期四的時候請了外公, 舅舅, 舅媽, 和王君來家裡吃飯.  外公說要來我們家吃飯已經說了兩三個星期了.  媽媽本來因為星期二又有大雪, 他準備延期到陽曆元旦.  但是, 他說他不能等了, 不然他整天整夜的在想這事.  他前一兩個星期就在準備菜單.  一開始是甜菜湯, 後來又改.  媽媽最後的菜單是:    栗子煨白菜, 甜排骨, 涼拌馬蘭頭, 干貝花菜, 烤鮭魚, 鮭魚番茄濃湯.  那天我上班, 不在家.  前一夜, 媽媽跟我說, 很抱歉, 我明天要一大早就要做菜, 你早餐要去買麥當勞.  不過, 我早上還是有果汁泥.  他一大早就在做甜排骨, 我七點下樓他就要我嚐.  我看他汁都還沒收, 就想味道一定還沒有進去, 我就耍賴了, 說既然已經燒了個把個鐘頭, 可以大火收汁了.  汁收了, 可一咬, 我得承認, 這東西還沒夠軟.  我是可以吃了, 外公恐怕不行.  媽媽就埋怨我, 剛剛叫我嚐的!  我趕快開溜.  一路上有點自怨自艾.  我就是懶... 

我對這事是沒存啥希望的.  誰都不能知道外公到底喜歡吃啥.  充滿了悲觀的情懷.  一整天在工作的地方都不大對勁.  深怕一回去, 媽媽又要抱怨外公啥都不喜歡.  開車到家, 才在窗口就可以聽到媽媽大聲的講電話.  一進去, 他就給我看他的手指, 又是繃帶!  我說, 又切到手了?  媽媽說, 你才不知道哩.  外公從開始吃飯到兩點多鐘回去都在批評.  外公一來, 就教舅舅從一樓看到二樓.  然後開始午餐.  甜排骨, 咬不動; 涼伴馬蘭頭, "郎的", 得要拿去熱; 栗子煨白菜很好; 烤鮭魚太乾.  眾人的意見都和他不同.  照例, 東西吃吃, 又要拿去熱.  舅媽在微波爐裡熱食物都是要蓋子的.  媽媽把微波爐裡熱好的東西拿出來, 蓋子拿不下來.  他硬來, 結果碗摔到地上去.  媽媽的手指給刮破了.   他現在有個現象, 就是血很不容易止住.  大家手忙腳亂的收拾, 媽媽也把止不注血的手指頭趕快拿去沖洗消毒.  外公還在那裡不斷埋怨媽媽, 怎麼就是不給他吃魚.  後來飯上來了, 王君馬上說, 咦, 這飯裡糯米!  原來媽媽知道外公喜歡有點糯米的, 結果呢?  外公說, 這飯太硬了, 他吃不來.  接下來, 就是批評媽媽不會做主人.  講了一個小時.  干貝菜花也忘在爐上.  大家也沒喝啥湯.  舅媽早就受不了了, 坐在客廳上看書.  後來找個理由回家說要給舅舅裝去工作的便當.  一點, 舅舅回去休息, 小睡一小時後去工作.  外公說要喝咖啡.  王君怎麼會肯.  喝了, 晚上不睡覺, 王君倒楣.  最後, 折衷, 媽媽打了果汁泥, 大家喝了也高興了.  不過, 外公仍要喝滾燙的. 

媽媽昨天晚上回來刷牙, 出發去舅家前說, 舅舅說的外公還在說那個栗子煨白菜很好吃.  我說, 至少, 還有一道菜他喜歡的.  很好很好. 後來, 遇到舅媽, 舅媽說, 他爸爸要是看到他手指流血, 是一定不會像外公那樣的.  馬上要過來幫忙止血的... 

Movies I saw recently

I went back and watched some old movies recently.  Of course, there were some new ones as well.  I re watched, lincoln lawyer, once upon a time in china, and 500 days of summer.  I saw a new movie, called, anatomy of murder, made in 1959, I think.  Anatomy was very good.  All three rewatched movies were very engjoyable. 

歌詞

Today

-Artists: The New Christy Minstrels as sung on " The New Christy Minstrels

-Greatest Hits": Sony Special Products BT 18113

-peak Billboard position # 17 in 1964

-from the movie "Advance To the Rear" starring Glenn Ford, Stella Stevens,

-Melvyn Douglas, Joan Blondell, Jim Backus, and Andrew Prine

-Words and Music by Minstrels' leader Randy Sparks



Today while the blossoms still cling to the vine

I'll taste your strawberries, I'll drink your sweet wine

A million tomorrows shall all pass away

Ere I forget all the joy that is mine today



I'll be a dandy and I'll be a rover

You'll know who I am by the song that I sing

I'll feast at your table, I'll sleep in your clover

Who cares what the morrow shall bring?



Today while the blossoms still cling to the vine

I'll taste your strawberries, I'll drink your sweet wine



I can't be contented with yesterday's glory

I can't live on promises winter to spring (winter to spring)

Today is my moment and now is my story

I'll laugh and I'll cry and I'll sing



Today while the blossoms still cling to the vine

I'll taste your strawberries, I'll drink your sweet wine

A million tomorrows shall all pass away

Ere I forget all the joy that is mi-uh-ine today
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Do not forsake me, oh my darlin
music by Dimitri Tiomkin
lyrics by Ned Washington
ballad of movie High Noon
sung in the movie by Tex Ritter
most famously sung by Frankie Laine



Do not forsake me, oh my darlin'
On this, our weddin' day
Do not forsake me, oh my darlin'
Wait, wait along
I do not know what fate awaits me
I only know I must be brave
And I must face a man who hates me
Or lie a coward, a craven coward
Or lie a coward in my grave
Oh, to be torn 'tweenst love and duty
S'posin' I lose my fair-haired beauty
Look at that big hand move along
Nearin' high noon
He made a vow while in state prison
Vowed it would be my life or his'n
I'm not afraid of death but oh
What will I do if you leave me?
Do not forsake me, oh my darlin'
You made that promise as a bride
Do not forsake me, oh my darlin'
Although you're grievin', don't think of leavin'
Now that I need you by my side
Wait along,(wait along) wait along
Wait along, wait along
(Wait along, ,wait along, wait along, wait along)

------------------------------------------------------------

Marty Robbins - The Hanging Tree Lyrics

I came to town to search for gold
And I brought with me a memory
And I seem to hear the night wind cry,
"Go hang your dreams on the hangin' tree
Your dreams of love that could never be
Hang your faded dreams on the hangin' tree!"

I searched tor gold and I found my gold
And I found a girl who loved just me
And I wished that I could love her too
But I'd left my heart on the hangin' tree
I'd left my heart with a memory
And a faded dream on the hangin' tree.

Now there were men who craved my gold
And meant to take my gold from me
When a man is gone he needs no gold
So they carried me to the hangin' tree
To join my dreams and a memory
Yes they carried me to the hangin' tree.

To really live you must almost die
And it happened just that way with me
They took the gold and set me free
And I walked away from the hangin' tree
I walked away from the hangin' tree
And my own true love, she walked with me!

That's when I knew that the hangin' tree
Was a tree of life, new life for me
A tree of hope, new hope for me
A tree of love, new love tor me
The hangin' tree, the hangin' tree, the hangin' tree!

----------------------------------------------------------------


 North To Alaska 2:47
(Franks, Horton)
Johnny Horton
Pop Chart # 4 Sept. 19, 1960
Columbia Records #41782
Album: 'Johnny Horton 16 Biggest Hits'
Columbia Legacy Records CK 69971



Intro:
Way up north (north to Alaska)
Way up north (north to Alaska)

North to Alaska
You go north, the rush is on
North to Alaska
I go North, the rush is on

Big Sam left Seattle in the year of ninety-two
With George Pratt, his partner and brother, Billy, too
They crossed the Yukon River
And found the Bonanza Gold
Below that old white mountain
Just a little south-east of Nome

Sam crossed the majestic mountains (mush)
To the valleys far below (mush)
He talked to his team of huskies (mush)
As he mushed on through the snow (mush)
With the northern lights a-runnin' wild (mush)
In the land of the midnight sun (mush)
Yes, Sam McCord was a mighty man (mush)
In the year of nineteen-one (mush)

Where the river is windin'
Big nuggets they're findin'
North to Alaska
They go North, the rush is on

A-way up north (north to Alaska)
Way up north (north to Alaska)
North to Alaska
They go north, the rush is on
North to Alaska
They go north the rush is on

George turned to Sam
Wth his gold in his hand
Said, 'Sam you're a-lookin' at a lonely, lonely man
'I'd trade all the gold that's buried in this land
For one small band of gold to place
On sweet little Ginnie's hand

'Cause a man needs a woman
To love him all the time
'Remember, Sam, a true love is so hard to find
I'd build for my Ginnie, a honeymoon home
Below that old white mountain
Just a little south-east of Nome'

Where the river is windin'
Big nuggets they're findin'
North to Alaska
They go north, the rush is on
North to Alaska
They go North, the rush is on

Way up north (north to Alaska)
Way up north (north to Alaska)
FADES-
Way up north (north to Alaska)
Way up north (north to Alaska)
Way up north.

thoughts after reading

I just read a chapter in e.o. wilson's on human nature about aggression.  it's interesting that he seems to be  complete opposite of Konrad lorenz.  at least, that's what appeared in his own writing.  one of his most frequent description of lorenz's view on aggression is that lorenz think aggressive sports can discharge some of the intra-species aggression.  but as wilson pointed out that aggressive action is more a learned behavior with human predisposition of aggression.  wilson seemed to say that we can curb aggression by avoiding violent things, like not using foul langauge, playing violent video games, or aggressive sports.  and he pointed out that there were many crisis, but eventually, people got out of the tough situation by using reason as last resort.  wilson seemed optimistic compared to lorenz.

I need to read on aggression again.  

old ball

there's a boy of ten
his friends were gone because
he moved to a new places

father comfort him
now now, you will find new friends
mother encourage him
isn't it a beautiful quaint place

boy of ten went to new school
there's no friends, everyone a strange
boy came back from school
new place isn't quaint,
he lost his way to his house
he's out, until he was found

oh, poor little boy, strange faces will
fade, father said.
oh, new road will be old again if
travel more, mother said.

boy of ten could only comfort himself with
an old worn basketball

no title

for your sake, let me say this out loud
if you love me, please say it now. 
if i love you, i wish to show it to you
but but what if there's no hope

i can see it in your eyes.
that glint of hope flows out
but i know how heart could be
treacherous.  how it could deceive me
with a mirror i polished
with tireless effort

I want to ask you this, but throughout the century
were you there for me?
is it just me yapping my mouth blindly
oh, it must be a pure dream, for I can feel
your image cramping out my eye socket

if i want a fastest car in the world, that
was used to chase after you
if i wanted to have wings, which was
used to track your shadow.
but oh, I regret my thoughts
or is it my will free of physical boundaries?

 

那兩位教授說的...

最近看到一本書, 書名叫 wealth and power, 中文是富強.  兩位美國教授合作的.  其實就是前不久, 拙林貼的一篇提到中國近代史改寫的文章, 同樣的兩位教授. 

書 裡舉了幾個代表人物, 都是近代史上有意思的人物.  從魏源開始介紹, 到朱鎔基.  不斷的把近代各作者的思想和富強提出聯繫, 富強就是富國強兵的縮寫, 因此他們譯成, wealth and power.  無論是魏源, 梁啟超, 孫中山, 鄧小平, 等, 都沒能真正脫離愛國主義.  唯一有意思的是毛澤東, 他對中國文化的徹底破壞, 給鄧小平的經濟開放鋪了路.  對之後的朱鎔基也頗有好評.  認為他對於經濟的發展是正面的.  最後面的結論一篇更指明了愛國主義對於整個近代和現代中國的進程, 有著主導性的地位.  因為無論是毛的破壞, 還是鄧的開放, 或者是朱的經濟, 都是為了富國強兵.  而直到現在除了開發, 現在的中國提不出一個中心價值觀(core value).  他既不願接受歐美的民主自由, 人權等等, 除了富國強兵之外, 他也沒有自己的價值觀.  書裡認為這是另一個轉變的開始, 可以是好的, 也可以是壞.  也就是現在是處於一個非常不穩定的時代.  這也讓我聯想到之前易中天說的中國人沒有中心價值觀.  這一串的文章的出現, 確是一種轉變. 

易中天說中國人沒有信仰, 也就是沒有中心價值觀.  我本人是不能同意的.  因為在我認為, 他提到中華文化的部分是矛盾的.  既然中華文化是世界性的第一大 tier 之一.  又說中華文化沒有中心價值觀, 基本上他自己就否定掉中華文化了.  如果易中天說, 中華文化就是實用主義.  這個主義, 實在是人類最根本的本能, 哪裡能成為文化呢?  但是, 我一想, 也對, 自毛澤東出來後, 中華文化是被否定掉了.  剩下的豈不就只剩實用主義了嗎?  那兩位美國教授, 認為毛澤東把中華文化去掉了, 所以現在才能使經濟蒸蒸日上.  但是, 現在又來講要中心價值觀?  似乎沒必要...

(最近易中天又把中華的部分重寫.  他不提實用主義了, 他說中華文化沒有信仰, 可是中華文化之所以能成為世界性文化, 是因為:  方式.)

自從易中天說中華文化沒有信仰, 也就是沒有中心價值觀時, 我就一直在考慮這個問題.  因為我看過蘇老泉曾寫過, "士以義怒", 一句話.  我那時也曾想過, 那個義到底是啥意思?  這個義是否可以是中心價值觀?  可是我當時就想, 中國似乎自古及近代都沒有真正提出一個 '義'.  試看韓愈在原道提出了:

-----'夫所謂先王之教者，何也？博愛之謂仁，行而宜之之謂義，由是而之焉之謂道，足乎己無待於外之謂德。其文，詩書易春秋；其法，禮樂刑政；其民，士農工賈；其位，君臣父子師友賓主昆弟夫婦；其服，麻絲；其居，宮室；其食，粟米果蔬魚肉：其為道易明，而其為教易行也。'-----

這裡面似乎全都是實用主義.  以今日歐美的所謂中心價值觀, 獨立, 自由, 平等(易中天列的) 來看, 這裡沒有類似的東西.  易中天也提出了今日歐美的名詞在程度上有種種不同:

-----'具體地說，就是獨立、自由、平等。此外的人權、法治、民主、共和、憲政，則不是。人權和法治是觀念，共和與憲政是制度，民主則既是觀念也是制度。它們都不是價值，而是價值的體現，以及實現這些價值之最不壞和最可行的途徑。這事過去一直是糊塗賬，現在不能不算清楚。

   獨立、自由、平等這三大核心價值，是文藝復興以後被重新發現的。儘管它們在古希臘文明中已初見端倪，但真正成為西方國家的全民共識和朝野共識，仍然費了不小的工夫。然而一旦確立，西方現代文明便騰空躍起。
    是這樣嗎？是。
    一般都認為，西方經濟發達科技進步，是因為制度先進、優越、完善。比方說，著作權法和新聞出版法保護了知識產權和言論自由，科技當然進步；合同法和反壟斷法保證了自由貿易和公平競爭，經濟當然發達。
    問題是，這些制度為什麼能夠建立，而且能夠實行呢？就因為制度背後有觀念的支持，比如“這是我的小破屋，風能進，雨能進，國王不能進”，比如“我堅決反對 你的意見，但我寧願犧牲生命也要捍衛你說出這意見的權利”。這些觀念被廣為傳播，早已深入人心，無論政府官員還是江湖大佬，都不敢頂風作案，冒天下之大不 韙。
    制度的背後是觀念，觀念的背後是什麼？
    價值。
    比方說，因為尊重獨立，所以要保護隱私；因為崇尚自由，所以要保護言論；因為堅持平等，所以要保護民權。這才有了人權觀念、法治意識、創新機制、保障體系，有了自由貿易、公平競爭、權力制衡、輿論監督，有了一系列的觀念和制度，而且能夠落實和執行。
    價值、觀念、制度，是一種由裡到外層層遞進的邏輯關係。西方現代國家能夠勃然興起後來居上，創造出當今世界最強大、最強勢、最強悍的文明，就因為他們把這個邏輯關係弄清了，理順了，夯實了，建構成渾然一體的東西。'-----

 如果和韓愈的東西兩相比較, 我就覺得除了愛和義之外,獨立, 自由, 平等, 要比其他韓愈提出的更像核心價值.  也比禮樂刑政更令人嚮往.  禮樂刑政聽起來像是制度.  而觀念似乎並沒有真正的再韓愈的原道裡出現. 

對於整個中國來說現在是一個轉變的時機.  我沒有辦法忘記我在蘇州時和大姨說, 在毛澤東時代, 疆獨沒能能鬧出來.  實在是因為當時大家都相信共產主義.  這個共產主義可以是一個核心價值觀.  但現在常常出事, 實在是因為愛國主義, 甚至大漢主義所造成的.  這兩位美國教授所想的, 我在幾年前就想過, 也和拙林提出來過.  我基本上認為易中天在講歐美和回教時都滿好的.  我仍是不喜歡他講中華文化的部分.  我已經看過易中天的網誌很多次, 他中華文化的部分改了又改.  我相信很多人也都不喜歡.  但, 我也無法把中華文化的價值觀講出來.

我常常覺得, 中華文化, 那些古籍從不是真的在講中國人, 而是講全人類. 唉, 無論如何, 我得承認現在這是超出我的能力範圍.  無論是書讀的太少太少,幾乎完全不經世事, 也與人隔絕.  這三件事都使我無法認識價值觀的可能.

不過, 這似乎只是古代價值觀的認識, 而不是現代價值觀的開展.  我最近的想法真的是, 當初王陽明的心學沒能繼續開展, 只滿足於心靈上的滿足, 而不求之於事功, 實在是一大遺憾.  到了清朝, 又只能求之於事功, 而不能在心靈上有所闡明.  也或許前一代的發展終有推進後一代的銳進.  只是我因為那三件事, 而不能看的清楚.  雖然易中天所說的我不見得儘都贊同, 但是易中天所做的是很值得推許的. 

亂想

很多樹如果給予足夠的空間, 都會長成某一種特殊的形狀.  可是如果把多種樹種到一起去, 則這些樹都無法長成那些屬於自己的特殊形狀.  那麼那一種形狀是天性嗎?  如果是天性, 把樹種在一起就無法讓他們盡自己的天性.  但是, 又有多少樹可以有那麼好的空間呢?  大多數的樹, 都是擠在一起, 很多都希望自己盡量向天空發展.  向天空發展也是他們自然的一種天性. 

天性看起來有很多種.  那人觀察樹的天性時, 實在不能只看空地裡的樹, 或者只看樹叢裡的樹...  天性實在是很難啊. 

chatter

Feeling lonely.  I wish to engage in some chat somehow.  Feeling lonely.  Working in a temp job right now.  The work is mostly physical, after the job, I feel empty.  There're fleeting words.  They are fleeting.  I feel empty. 

Tomorrow, another kind of work.  Gotta go to uncle's. 

Where are you. 
what are you doing? 
Wish to see you. 
But my heart is weak. 
Upon seeing you,
afraid it might stop jump. 

浸漬水果

上個星期六, Julie 阿姨帶了一大罐自己浸漬的桃子.  桃子也是自家後院摘的.  好好吃, 家珍阿姨還特地從座位的另一頭跑來我們這一頭把整罐浸漬桃子拿到自己那一頭.   Julie 阿姨說可以去他家摘桃子, 我和他說下午去. 

下午三點我和媽媽去摘桃子.  Julie 阿姨說, 等你等不及, 我自己又醃了兩罐了!  有點抱歉, 我應該和他說我們當天中午要和舅媽去吃包肥的.  他家後院有一顆種了幾年的桃樹, 近兩三年才開始結果.  Jeff 叔叔拿了梯子, Julie 阿姨拿了兩個籃子, 於是我們就摘起桃子.  桃子不是很大, 桃樹也不高.  但是桃子的數量卻很多, Julie 阿姨已經醃了三四罐桃子了, 我們看到的仍是滿樹桃子.  媽媽和我還有點不好意思摘太多, Jeff 叔叔和 Julie 阿姨很大方的勸我們多多益善.  天氣很好, 藍天綠地, 藍子裡的桃子也堆積起來. 終於, 我們滿足的拿了一大堆的桃子進入屋裡.  我還留在外頭和 Jeff 叔叔討論車道的修補之法.  他帶我看他們的材料和工具, 又走在車道上指給我看各種材料適用的各種情況.  過了好一陣子, 我們才返回屋內, 一看, 哇, Julie 阿姨和媽媽已經開始做浸漬桃子了!  我們摘的桃子足足裝了三個罐子!  Jeff 叔叔一看, 他居然把浸漬的材料背出來:

七糖一醋+一茶匙酸梅粉. 

我們都覺得有趣, 原來他喜歡吃到把怎麼做都記下來了!  他也笑說他在 Julie 阿姨身旁, 也是 "耳濡目染" 哪!  哈哈哈! 

回家的路上, 媽媽覺得我們家門前的 crap apple tree 上的蘋果也可以這樣醃製.  我一開始覺得怪怪的.  可是媽媽下定了決心, 於是回到家後, 我們就又摘了半樹的蘋果.  蘋果不多.  這蘋果樹也是個有趣的故事.  前年, 一場很大的暴風雨突襲美國東北, 我們的那棵樹本來有兩根粗大的樹幹, 其中一根在風雨之中被吹斷.  一開始, 我們想要把他連根崛起算了, 但是, 發現這工程太貴.  於是我下了決心要把他鋸掉.  沒想到的是, 這棵樹實在是很難鋸, 硬的不得了, 而且又粗, 枝椏盤旋環繞, 我的弓鋸也不夠大.  花了不少時間終究還剩下一小段沒能除掉.  鋸下的樹幹一時之間不知道要放哪.  因為那時已經有些小枝子從根裡長出來.  我想, 說不定以後又可以長成個樣子出來.  就突發奇想, 把一整棵樹用截斷的樹幹圍起來.  當然, 看起來很有點突兀...

之後的一年裡, 小枝子也發出葉子, 但是, 卻沒有開什麼花.  我滿失望的, 因為每年春天五月, 這棵樹都會開成滿樹的花. 在我們街上非常顯眼漂亮.  那時也是不結果子的.  畢竟樹太老了.  可那滿樹的花實在值得期待.  今年春天五月, 我到蘇州一趟回來, 沒能看到開花.  心中有點可惜.  走進一看, 咦, 有小果子.  記得以前也有過一些, 但是從來沒能漲起來過.  我也沒放在心上.  近幾個月卻看他逐漸長大, 媽媽看的很歡喜.  常常說要吃吃看.  我說, 這種 crap apple 怎麼會好吃.  媽媽不信, 一個月前他摘了一個微紅的小蘋果嚐嚐.  啊, 的確是不好吃.  我說也還沒真的熟哩... 

前兩週吧, 媽媽又試了一次, 他覺得雖然還是不怎麼好吃, 終究不那麼難下嚥了.  沒想到, 現在得到了這個食譜!  真是猶如天降的禮物!  我們那天醃了一大罐蘋果.  今天下午又把剩下來的大部分蘋果摘下來浸漬.  我們還拍了照片並且留了兩顆紅蘋果給鳥吃.  唉, 有了食譜真希望他年年點果子! 

徵

my mom called my uncle, who's in suchow with my grandpa right now.  he was silent as usual.  so my mom initiated talks as usual.  she heard from aunt pl yesterday that grandpa told uncle he will come to usa to live with him.  we even went to uncle's house to talk to aunt, who confirmed with us.  but my uncle replied, no, it's not confirmed yet.  then he fell silent.  my mom was relieved when hearing from aunt pl a little bit.  upon hearing the response from my uncle, she felt a twinge.  she then asked how he slept.  my uncle chuckled.  since my uncle had nothing to say, my mom asked if  grandpa was up.  he was, but he constipated again, he did not feel well at all. 

mom talked to grandpa.  but he was so unwell, he could not hear anything.  my mom kept telling him, how happy she was with his news of coming to usa.  but repeatedly he could not perceive it at all.  after a few times, my mom asked grandpa to give phone to uncle.  but still grandpa could not hear it.  eventually, mom told grandpa to hang up the phone numerous times.  grandpa apparently could not hear at all, finally hung up the phone. 

what it showed me, was horrifying.  because initially, i understand if grandpa came to usa, my mom will be the sacrificing lamb.  for grandpa will not and dare not scold uncle and aunt, he will then redirect aggression against my mom.  But now, I saw something else in this intricate play.  grandpa, under uncle's influence, will turn vicious with my mom.  This viciousness will morally hurt my mom.  grandpa is already bitter.  uncle will turn him into a colossus.  grandpa still care for my mom before now.  but that attitude will change when he's with uncle and aunt.  with my mom's attachment to her own parents, this will be proven fatal. 

uncle and aunt don't have the intention, but their emotional inclination toward my mom will likely be at work.  my mom's attitude will not help in the situation either. 

quote

I saw the magnificent seven today.  I think it's a good western.  It has more twist than seven samurai.  But I didn't like Yul Brynner that much.  I did not care too much about Steve Mcqueen here either.  I never planned to watch this movie if not for Charles Bronson.  And it's kind funny that if not for Frasier, I'd never watch this movie...  lol  Because Frasier's dad Martin love Charles Bronson.  I felt the movie as its own was pretty good, I liked the twist here.  But I just have too much seven samurai in my mind.

Anyway, I remembered a quote by Steve M's character, I think it's funny. Somebody asked how you doing?  Steve M's character answered with joke:

"A fella fell from a tall building, everyone on different floor heard the fella as he fell past their floor saying, "So far so good, so far so good." 

I forgot the exact wording, but that's about it... 

rambling

It's been two weeks, mascon haven't called back yet.  I need to call. 

I really wish to have a girl by my side.  But I really could not construct a future at all.  Do I lost my aggressive drive?  Would this related to my wanting to be correct and proper?  And any deviate from correctness and proper is unbearable to me personally.  I really really wish to have a girl I love by my side. 

If i settled in a new situation, it became stale.  But I won't find new ways to improve it. 

Sometimes i wonder if my desire to be able to satisfy a girl in bed is so fervent, would be because I could never make my mom happy.  And this disgusts me to my stomach.  As I dig deeper, I think it related to the aggressive drive, which somehow could not realized in any proper  channel.  For I watch over every possible channel.  I do not want to have any leak.  Of course, aggression escaped in most infuriating sense.  I tried even harder.  Until now, I meet angry with either flapper mouse, or masterbet, or drowsiness, or if I was lucky enough to get a hold myself, I do exercise.  But exercise was rare. 

That is not to say that I don't feel genuine love towards the opposite sex.  On the contrary, the intensity was and is unbearable.  My mom and sis and uncle always wonder why I did not go to animal shelter.  I could not go because, I was so attracted to female colleagues, I can't stay.  Some one can tell me that all men feel the same, but for me, they can be around girls.  I just felt out of control, jealous, self despise, embarrassment.  Excuses, excuses... 

and right now, confession did not make me feel relieved.  it is like reliving my nightmares.  just remember, if i could not construct a future, i can't have a girl.  no contact, no discussion, never compromise! 

沒眼光

昨天和鄰居的小孩玩籃球.  他們是五缺一.  我剛好頂上.  之前有看過他們打, 我不覺得怎麼樣.  可是打了幾場下來, 他們都滿會玩的.  有兄弟倆, 都很能投球, 哥哥的上籃也滿行.  兄弟倆的父親精壯剽悍, 技術實在.  我的鄰居是很強壯高大, 射球也有一定的準頭.  另外一位也是高大強壯, 準頭也有. 

跟他們打, 我就覺得自己沒眼光.  之前看的時候不覺得怎樣, 一打就知道滿不是自己看的那樣. 這讓我想到第一次看到史第夫王打球.  亨利黃說他很厲害, 好快.  我當時也覺得不怎麼樣.  打起來後才知道他橫向爆發力真的很不錯.  還好他運球普通, 不然就真的很可怕了. 

我的眼光真的很差.  回來後和媽媽說, 媽媽也同意.  他就用我昨天同一天的例子, 我可以在衣服店裡待兩三個小時, 一件衣服也買不到.  我說, 眼光不好, 遲疑猶豫就很正常了.  媽媽一想也對. 

另外一提, 打球時兄弟倆的父親比我年紀大至少十五六歲, 卻比我有精力, 又能跑又能跳.  我滿悲傷的.  想想上次和亨利黃, 飛, 史第夫王, roger 葉打球時, 我現在可能比那次好一點.  但和那位父親相比, 實在太差... 

中華文化之一

中華文化之一, 第一點就是反古. 尤其是拿古人的話來反古.  第一個笑孔丘的人就是孔丘的學生.  哈哈哈.

要說清楚某種文化長啥樣子是極端困難的.  中華文化和別種文化不同的地方是很難由中國人來說的.  我覺得只有從外國人口不經意之間可以得知.  我現在可以想到的是, 民初時,某外國訪問學者說, 中國的學生都積極從事政治活動, 美國的學生都對政治興趣缺缺. 

我覺得這是最有趣的觀察,可是我現在認為這是最能清楚描述中華文化的一句話之一.  印象中東漢士人和宦官, 一直到明朝太監和士林, 都不斷有這種衝突.  反而是從事農工虞商的人在我印象裡少從事政治活動, 除非是官商勾結, 或者是宋以前士族的活動.

The change of attitude

When I read gun powder, steel, and germs, I found it was interesting that the attitude of the author was different from other people, namely zinn howard.  After that I read some books about conservation.  It has a very different sentiment from conservation a hundred years ago. What was the difference?  How come I put two comparisons side by side?  Are they even related?  I don't know.  But it is interesting that when I read one, the other would pop up somewhere in my mind. 

The difference between the first two was that GsG did not apologize for the misery of European expansion.  It emphasized that when other people got the technology, the same people oppressed by European expansion, started to oppress other people too.  I remembered GsG used an example from some native islanders in new zealand. 

The difference between the conservationist now and the ones who started conservation a hundred years ago was the treatment of the big predators, especially the apex predators. 

Are these two category related?  I think yes, in some ways.  The so called apex predators controlled the ecology.  European expansion signified as most advanced technology, maybe even culture.  Such culture, was the apex predator in comparison.  However, it is a cynical comparison.  Because, when I read about how to save tigers, wolves, I felt warm feelings, even love.  But when I read the paragraph that whoever got highest technology will start to conquer, torture, destroy its neighbors, it was heart wrench, distant, and cold. 

I've always asked a question.  When you did something wrong, what would we do next?  We could say, other people would do so in my steed as well.  That's the feeling what GsG gave me.  But when it came to animal conservation, many books talked about the economic reason for killing predator animals a hundred years ago.  Many books would use many mythologies from native people. 

All those writings up there did not really summed clearly what I was going to say.  It is merely random notes on sporadic feelings toward something vague... 

booblablablabla

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中華...文化...阿....?!?!

易中天先生寫了一套書, 還沒寫玩, 他先來個序.  他在排世界裡各文化的位置.  排的很好, 總共有三環, 所有文化都有機會.  第一環三名, 伊斯蘭, 歐洲, 中華.   第二環,印度, 日本...等等.  第三環, 朝鮮, 東南亞...等等.

文章說, 第一環的文化叫做世界文化.  然後他拿出一個盒子,上面寫著伊斯蘭, 盒蓋打開, 裡面是宗教信仰和博愛, 世界中期歷史之花.  他又拿出第二個盒子, 上面寫著歐洲,他把盒蓋打開,往裡面一瞧, 啊, 自由平等法治, 世界現代歷史之花.  最後, 他拿出第三個盒子, 上面寫著中華, 他小心翼翼的把盒蓋打開, 大家往裡一瞧, 咦, 東西呢?  他笑嘻嘻的說, 這就是中華文化, 你看, 你看, 你要信啥, 我都可以放在裡面.  這可是世界古代歷史之秀啊!