I fear to be like my dad, my uncle, and now my grandpa. I saw many flaws in them. I saw those flaws in me. Although I know they all have their own merits. I can't find those merits in me. I saw flaws in people, I distrust them for this, it seems. Yet, I saw merits in them as well. I do not have those merits. I gross myself out.
I have keen sense of being involved in other people's feeling ,thoughts, and actions. And yet, I could not find my own thoughts, feelings, and actions when I am with them. I distrust myself first for I cannot forge for what I want? Or, I just turned my face away from what I know. If my faced turned, is it because of my fear? Or, otherwise.
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