餘音讀後小感

 我才讀完餘音，徐鍾珮寫的小說。  他被歸類為抗戰小說。  我可以了解抗戰這個歸類。 但是我覺得這樣歸類會限制了別人對他的印象。  我在看完這本書後，我覺得如果歸類到女性覺醒這一類的小說更合適。  尤其我最近邊看餘音，還邊看他寫的 【我在台北及其他】的集子。  我更有此感覺。  雖說他在 【我在台北及其他】 的序裡說他不很同意女性(或女權)主義(或運動)。  

這本小說裡， 沒有一個合格的男性。  一個都沒有。  也不知道為啥，我寫著寫著腦海裡突然閃過李安的色戒。  那裏面也沒有一個合格的男性。  也許我太苛了，這小說還是有一些還可以的男人(那個被日本軍官殺掉的為村里奔走折衝的先生)。  但是，實在少得可憐。  

但是反過來說，也許這很符合徐鍾珮自己的生 活經歷。  我在想 咪咪看這本書時，也許會有不少同感？  因為都是女校出身。  另外，作者和其他女同學，女朋友，堂表姊妹的緊密關係應該也是現實寫照。  我看到舅媽和他的朋友在一起時，也有類似的感覺。  這點和我看到我媽媽和他的朋友和同學在一起時， 似乎不一樣。  

雖說四個序言都是說這並非徐的自傳。  但是，我感覺他在某方面寫的離自傳很近很近。  

他文字的運用實在是直覺，天成。  我念起來非常之容易。  幾乎沒有文氣，就是所謂的文藝腔。  是那樣的白話，那樣的自然。  有些地方也用了一些吳儂軟語的字詞。  雖說每篇都不長，人物刻劃也是那樣的簡單。  可是卻那樣的深刻。  真正有畫龍點睛之效。  

他寫女兒和父親，他寫女兒和母親正是這樣。  平舖直述，但是到每一個階段的結束，每一個情感的湧出都很真切厚實。  即使到最後，他依然和母親有心結，因著他的描述，我仍是感到他們母女的份量。  

我打算來念這本小說。   我錄了第一章，四頁，修改後大概可以是十分鐘。  本書共三百廿頁有奇。  我估計唸完可能花十三個小時。 我媽很喜歡這本書，我們這本已經四十年了，再不錄下來，這書快散了。  這書裡面提到的重慶精神，我怕以後的書裡很少會有了，就算提了也不能如這書裡所描述的。  雖然作者出此書時，離抗戰已超過十年，但是任何經歷過抗戰的人，那八年恐怕是一輩子刻骨銘心的回憶了。  

first time in 26 years

It's not my first time went to Cape Cod in 26 years.  But considering the last time I went, I did not go anywhere, except my sis' wedding.  

My sister told us she already planned a trip to Cape Cod 2 weeks ago.  But then my mom had an SI joint pain last week which causes her lots of discomfort and severely dampened her ability to walk.  Before last Saturday, we still hope she could go.  I told my sis to persuade her, for I believe my sis is good at getting my mom's attention.  For a while, Mom said she will go.  But we did a trial run to Costco last Friday.  Then after we came back, we went out to deliver a mail to mail box.  Next day though, on Saturday morning, she was so tired, she lied in bed past 7:30 am which rarely happened for her.  So we decided she could not go.  Because if she went and walked too much, I am afraid it would impede her recovery.  

 

This is really not good for her morale.  But she really needed her rest.  

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My sis rented an AirB&B.  We had a whole cape to us.  The place is at brewster.  The first night we had a welcome to cape cod rally, by ordering a pizza for over $30.  We were all shocked, but PQ almost choked.  :p  The pizza was really good, though I doubted I'd order it in a normal circumstance.  

The next few day, my sis made breakfast for us.  Because originally we planned with mom being here, we brought a lot of stuff to prepare for meal.  I brought a Costco's rotisseries chicken, mom made chicken liver and heart, along with nuts, fruits...  My sis brought eggs, cheese, salads, and many other stuff.  She's an excellent cook. we had lots of eggs, scrambled, steamed next day, with croissants and salad.  She's crunching how much proteins we have...  Very professional.  

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Provincetown

We went to Provincetown, although brewster is on the same cape cod location with provincetown, it took us 40 minutes to get there.  We went to their Race point beach.  A lot of biking trails.  There are quite a few people renting the E-bike from P-town Downtown and biked there.  My sis wanted to try but could not, we ran out of time in the end.   The beach was very big, but not a lot of people.  That's the purpose though, my sis and her hubby always planned this trip to avoid peak tourist season.  The water was so clear.  The sand was nice too.  I wore slippers most of the trip.  It was fun.  I stood in the water, but a lot of people were staying dry.  The best surprise was that there's a seal swimming very close to the shore, not more than 20 feet.   It's like a performance, he showed us how to eat fish with no hands.  His relaxed attitude draw everybody's attention, including a puppy shepherd's dog.  He's so relaxed, swimming anywhere he wanted.  And there're seagulls above him trying to score some leftover.  There're also a few seals nearby, but they never put their heads out of water.  

Later, we went to the downtown.  The street we went directly was commercial street.  And it was a mistake.  It was crowded and narrow.  PQ fled, and my sis looked up the internet found some local advice to went the east side of comm. st.  to find parking by the street.  Then we basically walked from the residential area to the downtown.  It already long past the lunch time, PQ was in a hurry to eat.  They discussed, and googled, and discussed, and walked some more.  PQ had a restaurant in mind, but when we got there, the price was insane.  So onward we went, went past the memorial tower.  And found theCanteen.  There we had some sandwiches.    It was not bad.  I had their classic fish sandwich, good portion and generous pickles and coleslaws.  On the way back, we hit very few stores.  I guess we were tired.  

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CapeCod Rail Trail

The next day, we went for the Cape Cod Rail Trail.  But because we went to provincetown the day before.  We decided to go opposite direction, towards yarmouth.          It was probably the flattest rail trail?  Although other rail trails were quite flat as well, however, I think I could stay in the highest gear and ran though most of the road.  Maybe the other direction would be different.  But it's also very very nice.  Because on other rail trails, there're always some industrial setting.  Not here.  It's surrounded by nature.  And there're lakes along the way, you could sit and just watch, or even swimming in them!  The one impressed me was the SheepPond for there are only few people, mostly elderly.  And a pair of them just went into the lake and start swimming.  Upon seeing this, PQ said when my sis tried to teach him to swim, they did not have any gears, my sis just told him to kick the legs in the water.  It was kind hilarious.  He kept complaining there're no equipment when he was being taught.  Because that elder gentlemen had a floating device, not for swimming, but for safety.  But the lady had nothing.  

PQ and my sis used e-scooters for the whole trail.  I used my bike.  My sis rode the bike for a while, she really enjoyed it.  The e-scooter was quite fun and it could get quite fast.  PQ even had his own setup with cellphone holder.  But it broke loose during the trip.   We used my car to go the nickerson state park to transport both e-scooter and my bike.  I gotta say, if honda did not pick up the element beacon, somebody else should...  

Hyannis

We went to Hyannis next in the afternoon.  This time, PQ immediately signaled for lunch.  Though it's still a bit late, but he's not as agitated after lunch.  We had a lunch at an Italian restaurant, alberto's.  The way to the town was kind industrial, and at the beginning, we saw some for rental, for lease sign.  But once the in the downtown. Hyannis was not bad.  Not as busy and bustling as P-town.  Almost like some description from internet, kind sleepy.  But we really liked it.  We came here to see something related to kennedy family.  There we went, a korean war veteran memorial park, and a long beach, littered with broken shells and birds poop.  But eventually, it's a leather hand craft store impressed us more than anything.  lol  

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Chatham

I wanted to see sunrise at cape cod.  initially i wanted to go the dune sand at provincetown.  But it was a 40 minutes ride, my sis reminded me.  So I googled a little, i decided to go to chatham.  There's a lighthouse there.  It was always weird to go and do anything alone. Get up took sometimes.  But I'd woken up at 5 for a quite while now.  On the way there,  I  can't imagine going there without GPS.  Even if I looked up on the map, I felt I still need to powerful flashlight to see the road signs...  

The chatham dt was quite impressive, almost like p-town, even in the darkness.  But I'd say it's bigger, and more elaborate, probably more high end as well.  

There's a 30 min parking lot across the lighthouse.  The post said it's one of the best place to watch sunrise.  I was lucky.  But not that lucky.  Because the cloud covered 3/4 of the sky, especially where sky met the ocean.  I stepped out and glad I wore enough clothes.  But still got mosquito bites.  There were a few cars already.  an older gentleman went past me and asked would we able to see the sun today.  I said, hopefully.  under the parking lot was actually a beach with lots of marshes.   Scattered boats, I guess they are fishing boats, sail by the beach.  It was quite a sight.  Then I hear seagulls dropping clams on the asphalt road.  They kept doing it.  Interesting.  

I went down to the beach.  It was the best I've touched in cape cod.  clean, not much shells, no bird poops.  But early morning sands were very cool to the touch.  

The sun eventually hid himself behind the cloud.  We could not see much there.  So I headed back.  They were still sleeping.  That's good.  

Falmouth

The last day of the trip.  Falmouth was also where PQ and my sis' wedding took place.  A special location for them.  But for me, besides the prime ribs during the reception, Falmouth did not leave anything in my memory.   

We went to an estate called highfield hall.  The mansion was quite big, and the interior was impressive.  The garden outside was also managed well.  It contained a web of trails behind the facility.  But it was okay.  

After that we went to anejo, a mexican restaurant.  It was not bad.  But I think my sis was more impressed, her order of mussels were awesome, according to her.  PQ's order was very fulfilling, to the point he could not finish it by himself.  I helped out some.  Then we walked around downtown area.  It was more established than Hyannis, not as touristic as P-town.  My sis said well, Falmouth downtown reminded her of lexington.   After a 15 minutes, we went the famous lighthouse, where they took their wedding photos.  I wanted to leave early, hoping to escape the traffic.  But I'd never seen their photo shoot.  I should go for a look.  It was a long and winding road to get there.  But they were doing construction there at this time.  We could only take some pictures on the outside.  

Then we were on the way home.  

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PQ and my sis always prepared well for their trips.  PQ brough video games and fire sticks to watch shows on youtube.  we played mario party the first night, that series is always addictive, even my sis liked it.  PQ dies and lives with video games, almost like it's his blood.  one of the best memories from his childhood.  Then the next day, we watched a movie and their shows.  the last night I played TNT and Bubble bubble with PQ, they were old video games, probably what they called 8 bit or 16 bit games.  It was fun, but PQ was awesome in those games.  I really think video game trained his vision so well, that when we were on the trail, he can always spot some things, me and my sis cannot catch in the move.  

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i called mom during those days.  But I can feel her feeling down.  I don't know, maybe it's still better to bring her along?  She finished reading a book she loved during her young adults era.  This is a book she said the typing was too small for he to read.  

Book afterthought

 最近看了一本書叫做 ， The hidden life of dogs， 作者 ElizabethMarshallThomas。

在看完第三到四章時，我很想放掉不看了。  因為裡面有一個故事實在很令人難過。  但我還是耐著性子看完了。  最終章卻也讓我慶幸自己沒有放棄。  

這是一位人類學家把他家裡養的一大群狗的故事和觀察寫成的一本書。  他的筆觸很平淡，很實在。  也正因如此， 有許多敘述的筆調， 往往沒有任何修飾，那個令我想放棄讀這本書的地方是正是因為這種赤裸裸的感覺。  讀完這本書時，這種筆調卻令我感覺非常真實，作者的想法，感受， 情感。  沒有一絲交揉做作。  有淡淡的感傷，卻沒有過度的悲情。  也因為這份真，才可以感到這本小書的重量。  

每當我想起那隻聖伯納犬被關在牢籠裡，等待著死亡，令我有說不出的恐懼和焦慮。  養寵物真的很需要時間，陪伴他們，和他們玩，和他們互動。  現在對養貓的人有種說法叫做， 【貓奴】。  實在很對。  如果你沒有時間，實在是不應該養的。  

作者養狗的方式滿特別的。  但那也是因為他當時有這種環境，又剛好碰上了哈士奇這樣的狗。  他也養著兩隻哈巴狗，但是那不是他這本書的對象。  他主要的對象是兩隻哈士奇和他們的後代，還有一隻丁狗【Dingo】。  做為一個人類學家，他希望的是可以在現代人盡量避免影響部落民族的可能下，去做研究。  他對於他的這群狗，也是持同樣的態度。  他當然也會帶他們去看獸醫，和保持他們的基本安全。  但除此之外， 盡量不去訓練他的狗。  所以那些狗並不會很聽話。  在這個過程裡，作者發現他的狗會自動訓練下一代，或者外來者。  所以都不需要擔心上廁所和保持清潔的基本行為。  很有趣的是，那個時候的 Cambridge, MA，還可以讓家狗到處溜達。  雖說，之後也有規定要有繩子，狗才能上街。  作者有一隻寄養的哈士奇，這隻哈士奇很喜歡自己出去逛街，作者一開始很好奇這隻狗到底地去了哪？ 於是他就不牽繩子，自己一陸跟過去看。  就像現在有人會給貓戴上錄影機，看看自家的貓咪都到哪兒去晃了。  從這裡， 作者開始做他的研究。  

這裡的書名有一個 Hidden，因為作者所描述的狗群，是一群總共由七八條狗所組成的廣大群體。  在這個群體裏，狗用他們天生的語言和溝通方式過日子。  作者也就藉著這個機會，來觀察研究。  這個隱藏的秘密也不僅僅是他所觀察到的狗和狗之間的肢體語言。  而是如果狗兒能夠自由選擇，他們所學習到的事物，他們所重視的價值， 他們自然的好惡，這些才是他重視的地方。  

這書真的很短，描述的東西似乎也不複雜。  因為對於中國人來說， 狗有無 Conscious 【意識】，應該不是一個具有爭議性的事。  他們當然有意識。  如果沒有意識，那不就是昏迷了就是死了。  但是，這個意識的問題，卻似乎在歐烏的學術裡有很大的爭議性。 所有我看過有關動物行為學的書，其實都圍繞的這個主題， 也就是除了人以外其他動物到底有無意識。   這裡面似乎有很多基督教的影響。  因為我感覺寫這種書的作者， 他們都志在打擊這個他們認為是基督教來的想法，就是除了人以外的動物，都是沒有 conscious 的。  

仔細想來，莊子和惠施在橋上的辯論裡似乎也有類似的意思。  莊子說橋下的魚在河裡很快活，惠施不以為然。  我們怎麼能知道其他動物的想法？  但是， 歐烏的學者，在十九世紀時有一派認為其他動物所以能做一些人類誤以為有意識的行為，只是由於器官機能的運轉像機器一樣。  他們其實是沒有喜怒哀樂愛惡懼，也無有智慧。 任何人說其他動物是有智慧和情感的，那都是擬人化了。  也有點像惠施指控莊子所說的。   不過，惠施還只是說我們不能知道魚的感覺。  我想，惠施或許還不至於完全泯滅其他動物的靈性。  老殘在他遊記的序裡提到靈性。  他說靈性愈高，愈會哭。  裡面我記得他提到牛馬不會哭，所以靈性不高。  但是他還是不能否定牛馬的靈性。  可是這本書卻也告訴我們，狗不會哭，但是他會嚎。  我想真正認識牛馬的人，也許也可以發現牛馬是怎麼哭的。  

我很驚訝他家可以養將近十隻狗。  

我到底喜不喜歡這本書呢？  我還滿喜歡的。  可是卻沒有勞倫斯的所羅門王的指環那樣深深的喜歡。  我想主要還是因為指環的故事有很多好笑的地方。  這本書呢， 就像我說的是一本平淡，沉靜的書。  但是作者娓娓道來，在最後的時候仍很有力量。  

Preparation for audiobook

 聽書的準備工作

成長路錄製結束後的幾個月，我並無停下腳步。  我繼續尋找並且嘗試錄製其他音檔。  但是都差強人意。  唯一令人稍微滿意的是豐子愷的做父親。  但是音檔是一年前錄製的。  當時並不滿意，但是一年後的今天卻覺得音色，感覺，和速度都還不錯。  雖然念的多一個字少一個字的，還有念錯字。  但是我覺得優點遠大於缺點，我也就藉著這個音檔，嘗試用 微軟的PPT 來做一個影片。  PPT 沒有真的成功。  只是用他做成一幅幅的圖檔和音檔搭配。  沒能用 PPT 滿可惜的，需要再接再厲，「先試試不通，在試准成功！」  (好笑的哩！)

最近主要在嘗試沉櫻編選的散文欣賞，是我母親在民國五十八年五月十五購於淡水。  裡面有很多翻譯的文章， 不少從法國，日本啦，美國英國啦，甚至西班牙的都有。  我看了以後覺得還不錯。  但是，開始念的時候，就發現很多問題。  有些句子和詞語，實在很拗口。  我想念法布爾的一篇文章， 我覺得很多文句不通暢。  看的時候沒有問題，但是念，實在不好。  但這也因人而異，象周作人的一篇日文翻譯， 我看得很高興，但是一念就是問題。  但是，夏濟安翻譯霍桑的古屋雜憶，就沒有這問題。  所以也很因人而異，這周的翻譯，實在讓我想到硬譯的論戰。  另外，沉櫻的這本散文選集裡面也有令人意外的收藏，象有一位作者叫古丁，中國作者，但是有關他的介紹卻是在日本維基。  原來他是偽滿時候的作者。  在文革前被犧牲掉了。  

我也想說，我深深覺得，我必須慢下腳步來。  因為學習製作影片是一回事， 錄音是另一回事。  錄音有錄音的準備，影片製作是另一回事。  影片製作裡，應該以 【作爸爸】那一篇為基礎。  從那以點上去發展。  錄音目前除了讀好幾遍外，我並沒有做其他的準備。  就算有也很粗糙。  其實最好把文章抄下來，可以備註斷句的地方；讀音的查詢；以及速度的註明。。。等等。  

另外就是，我必須閱讀。  因為唯有在閱讀之後，我才能決定我要錄甚麼！  計畫與否是一會事，但是必須閱讀。  

  

詩鈔

 看了一篇散文，是思果寫的有關他失學和自學的經歷。  裡面引用了一首英文詩：

但歷代累積豐富的歷史巨頁

在他們的眼前從未展開，

寒冷的貧窮惡殺了他們高貴的詩情，

凝結了靈性中天生的機能。

(格雷，Thomas Grey)

我還滿喜歡的，講述的是人類有史以來所累積的知識，貧窮的卻無法獲得，也因此無法使他們發揮自己的潛能。  此詩引用在這篇文章裡實在很合宜。  

我查了一下此詩的英文發現是一首很不容易讀的詩。  也滿長的。  用的字眼都滿古老。  和一般我們用的詞彙不容易直接對照。  我把同一段的英文錄在此：

But Knowledge to their eyes her ample page,  
  Rich with the spoils of time, did ne'er unroll;            
Chill Penury repress'd their noble rage,  
  And froze the genial current of the soul.  

學的越多，離道越遠

 The more you learn, the further from truth you are.  

I heard this before, or something similar.  I read it in a 武俠小說。  That monk is one of the greatest martial artists and Buddhism scholars at the time.  But in a instant, he lost all his martial ability.  Then he got enlightened.  This suddenly reminded me of a Zen story.  One of the great Zen master always shows his index finger when people asking him, what is zen.  One of his young disciples does the same when everyone asks him the same question.   One day, the Zen master sees his young disciple showing his index finger to a faith seeker.  He gets angry and pulled a knife, then cut off disciple's finger.  The young boy is in tear and pain.  But immediately, the Zen master asks the young disciple, "what is zen?"  The boy turned and showed his master the index finger in a habit.  Suddenly, the young disciples is enlightened!  

The words, written or speaking, are like that index finger.  It is visible.  But it meaning hidden between the utterer and receiver of the words.  We  can mimic

喜鵲謀殺案讀後感 含劇透

     I just finished the book.  I borrowed from library a couple months ago but did not finish it.  For some reasons, I kept thinking about it.  So I went to library trying to borrow it.  However, I'd already forgot the name, so I went to the circular desk and ask the librarians.  I told two young librarians, I am looking for a book I borrowed before.  I wonder if they could find it in my account.  They said the system does not hold such records.  So they started to ask me about the book.  I described the book as one of the staff's pick a couple months ago.  It's a detective story, red cover, the title contained some birds.  They both immediately said, Magpie Murders!  It was kind funny.  I got the book right away.  

    I really like the book.  I think it was quite engaging.  The way it presented itself was quite unusual.  A story within a story.  Both stories are engaging.  But at the end, when the first story finally finished, it was quite powerful for me.  Because the characters are all different now.  They took on a new meaning from the second story, especially for the characters from the first story were based on real person in the second story.  Even when I writing this afterthought, I found it a bit confusing to describe the plot...  

There're a lot of reference to the Agatha Christie novels, but I haven't even read one of her novels.  

I am kind comparing this one to the the Ganache series.  I felt this one is more grounded.  The characters were written in a more realistic way.  Because a lot of time, I find characters in Ganache series a bit like caricatures.  

I feel like the author really paid a tribute to the genre both for written words and TVs with this book.  Because the amount of reference for both media are a lot.  

I never see answers in neither stories, but the most surprising was the first story.

I saw some interviews with the author, he said his idea came from ArthurConanDoyle.    ACD hated Holmes so much, he wanted to kill the character off.  And apparently, a lot of author, including Agatha as well hated their own creations.  This gave author the idea for this book.  When I saw those interviews.  I thought it was indeed the case, the book wrote extensively about the relation with author and his own creation.  I guess it's why the ending for the first book was so appealing to me.  Author lives through their creations.  And yet, when it was demanded of them to use the same character, it became a grind, even debasing their ideals.  It was kind sad.  

I knew this book has a Chinese translation.  So I went and read some reviews.  Most of them said the same thing, bad translation and editing ruined the whole thing, both Mainland'sandTaiwan's version.  It was a shame.  But I would think this is a very hard book to translate, because it really has lots of references to classic mystery novels.  Plus I think it's so very British.  So unless the translator is really familiar with both Britain and classic mystery novels, it would is really difficult to do justice.  I only read it through 1 time, but I know I could only understand less than half of the contents, maybe even less...  

But even so, I could not put down the book once passed the opening scenes.  

Now  to think about it.  It was so weird that the victim was so disliked by everyone.  That made his death less sympathetic for the readers.  And yet, while I was reading it, I could not put it down.  

讀一篇法布爾的文章

 我最近看到法布爾的一篇自述，裡面有一段我覺得饒有趣味。  他說他第一次有科學的經驗是小時候想看看到底是眼睛看到太陽，還是嘴巴。  於是，他用了一個方法。  面朝著太陽，他同時把眼睛閉起來，嘴巴張開， 結果太陽就消失了；接者，他把眼睛張開，嘴巴閉起來，這次太陽出現了。  於是，他用歸納法得出了一個結論，是眼睛看到太陽，而不是嘴巴。  但是，當他把這個結論告訴其他人時，每個人都笑得噴飯。  

我滿喜歡這篇文章，本想把它錄下來。  但是很可惜，我在念的時候實在有太多地方拗口，不通順。  這實在是可惜。  很可惜。  我念的這一本是沉櫻編選的散文集。  裡面有一半是翻譯文，有不少是法國的文章。  雖說可能是英文翻譯過來的，但是畢竟我看的法國文章很少，我覺得很難得。  可惜的就是翻譯不是很順暢。  想找找看，有無英文版的，自己翻譯試試。  但是找不到。  

---------------------------

在我找這片文章的過程中，我發現一個奇怪的題目，例如：法布爾面對進化論：不重視還是仇視？  (fabre and evoultion, indifference or blind hatred).  之後還有陸陸續續其他類似的題目。  

這篇文章之所以吸引我，很大的部分就在於法布爾開宗明義地說他不相信當時很多人所信服的一套理論，這套理論就是遺傳，主要是說大部分的本領都是由上面好幾代鍛鍊好了傳給下一代的。  我剛開始找這篇文章用的是 heritage，但是在找了一陣子後，我現在改找 evolution。  但是還是找不到。  

剛好這一篇我想讀的文章和這個搜尋的結果似乎可以連在一起。  看來，法布爾始終覺得進化論只是一個理論， 這個看法可能衍生自他對遺傳的看法。  當他提到天才的時候，就和遺傳分家了。  

這一篇翻譯，最後一段還是可讀的，我把他鈔錄如下：

「現在應當把這篇講我自己的故事結束起來了。  從這一篇以看出從很小的時候我就很愛好自然的事物，我又有觀察的才能。  為什麼緣故，又是怎樣起來的呢？  我不知道。 

我們人與動物都有些特別的才能。  有個小孩喜歡音樂，別一個時常用泥土塑出東西來，又一個長於計算。  在昆蟲也是這樣。  一種蜂能夠切葉，別一種建築泥房，蜘蛛知道織網。  這些才能˙因為存在所以是存在，人們所說的只是這一句話罷了。  在人類裡，我們稱這特別的才能曰天才。 在昆蟲裡，我們稱他做本能。  本能即是動物的天才。」

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我今天看到的動物

Morning:

I was watering the dahlias in the morning.  I saw a hummingbird flying around the flowers.  It's the second morning I saw it.  What a beautiful sight!  

Morning: 

I was riding a bike through skug river preservation.  I came upon a long board walk, which passed through the Skug river.  There is a section filled completely with duckweed(浮萍)。  And among them, there're so many frogs, with eyes popping out of the duckweed.  I sat on the boardwalk, just to enjoy the view, after a while, I rose and trying to leave, so many frogs jumped out of the river, and made a very interesting call.  What a fantastic experience.  

Evening:

I was watering in the evening, the weather was hot, about 100 degree F today.  I saw a large insect.  It looks like a locust?!  I feel it was almost 4 inches.  

Making voicerecording so far

 It is so hard...  

When I read, I like to read in a whisper sometimes.  I thought if I could record some of the materials, it would be interesting.  And I was right.  It is interesting, but so very hard.  

I could not read without all kinds of noises, from my nose, my throat, even my stomach.   I usually do my recording after dinner.  I guess that doesn't help the noises.  

I just recently put an video up YT.  I spend more than a month to do it.  Because I want to use PPt to make slides with pictures and the article.  But I need to learn the most basic of PPt.  BTW, I don't have PPt.  So I used Libreoffice Impress.  It works the same, almost.  Then there's the format and design of the slides.  I eventually decides to go with the Traditional Chinese format, vertical style.  That took some doing.  Along the way, I scrapped the plan for a partial quote of the article to a full copy.  Because, my recording has too many problems, wrong pronunciations, adding words that's not there, or subtracting words that's there.  And therein lies a real problem.  I re-record a few more times, trying to see if I could replace the intended voice recording.  I failed, I could not produce another recording with the same tone, speed, and emotions.  

Anyway, it was frustrated.  I spent half day putting this project up on YT after talking to my sis.  She said if the  mistakes did not alter the story, I should just salvage it.  So I did.  

Another thing, no more sending videos to relatives and people.  Let them live in peace...  lol  The recording is really not a joy to listen.  I listened on a laptop then a cellphone.  My gosh, the cellphone's quality is pretty bad.  I can imagine what other people would think.  So no more.  Just let it flow on the YT ocean, and hope no one will find them and tell me to pull them down...  lol

鷹之道 賽。蟒剛麼瑞

Just finished a very brief book by SyMontgomery.  It's very different from her other writings, because she gave up the activity of falconry.    The main reason for giving up is due to the fact that hunting is not in her blood, to be specific, killing is not in her makeup.  She is still awed by the beauty and wildness of raptors.  I don't think anybody wouldn't be awed by it.  Though I do remember from KonradLarenz's writing, he does not think raptors are smart.  Sy thought points out the instinct part of raptors as the essence of the bird, not truly it's intelligence.  And there're also many ways intelligence, Raptors way of intelligence is just very different from ours.  

I liked this book about its honesty and humility.  Because her choice at the end is very impressive, it shows humility really.  I'd imagine somewhere in her heart, a desire to complete falconry training must be strong.  But she knew herself, her circumstances, her relations, she turned it down.  She is not just speaking about being an animal lover, but really acts as one.  For I believe that by denying herself to train for 2 years with a raptor, she protected both a raptor she's going to handle and herself.  An over bloated promise, will make injury to both parties.  

Also, I am wondering if there are writing about falconry in 華夏大地.  What's their experience?  What's their language?  

Quote:

Our fellow animals teach us lessons about the delights of sameness and difference. They immerse us in wonder. They lead us to humility; they inspire us to reverence. They teach us the many facets of love.

Reminder: Slow to Anger. And moderation in Anger.

 Slow to Anger

Moderation in Anger.  

A rule against murder 讀後感，詩鈔

我剛讀完露易莎。媥尼的第四本葛傌煦警探系列小說。  題目是一條反對謀殺的規定。  我始終覺得這不是一個很嚴肅的偵探小說系列。  這個系列真正吸引我的地方是他創造的人物，都很可親，很可愛。  而且很多偵探小說裡的主角都是出生背景黑暗，但是這位葛傌煦警探則不是，其中的一個原因實在是因為作者當初創作的時候，希望把心目中的最完美的男人的特質用來塑造出這位警探。  

這本書在描寫家庭的互動上滿仔細，也滿生動的。  但是，有時候我覺得作者為了創造氣氛，在某些描述上變得有點誇張。  關於查案方面，我覺得這一部跟前三集相比，更弱。  這一本書的重點很顯然是希望讓讀者更深入了解葛傌煦警探的成長經過，而不是案情。  我覺得有點可惜。  但是故事裡有兩大段地方，讓我看得很喜歡。  因為這兩段寫的很實在，並不煽情。  可以說把這本書的重點給點得很到位。  

我喜歡這個系列還因為作者每次都有使用了不少的詩詞。  不知道為什麼這都讓我很高興。  我這次也不例外，把一首貫穿全書的詩抄錄下來。 

Oh! I have slipped the surly bonds of Earth

And danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings;

Sunward I’ve climbed, and joined the tumbling mirth

of sun-split clouds,—and done a hundred things

You have not dreamed of—wheeled and soared and swung

High in the sunlit silence. Hov’ring there,

I’ve chased the shouting wind along, and flung

My eager craft through footless halls of air….

Up, up the long, delirious, burning blue

I’ve topped the wind-swept heights with easy grace

Where never lark nor ever eagle flew—

And, while with silent lifting mind I’ve trod

The high untrespassed sanctity of space,

Put out my hand, and touched the face of God.

“High Flight,” September 3, 1941., John Gillespie Magee, Jr. (1922–41)

Magee was born in Shanghai, China, of missionary parents—an American father and an English mother—and spoke Chinese before English. He was educated at Rugby school in England and at Avon Old Farms School in Connecticut. He won a scholarship to Yale, but instead joined the Royal Canadian Air Force in late 1940, trained in Canada, and was sent to Britain. He flew in a Spitfire squadron and was killed on a routine training mission on December 11, 1941. The sonnet above was sent to his parents written on the back of a letter which said, “I am enclosing a verse I wrote the other day. It started at 30,000 feet, and was finished soon after I landed.” He also wrote of his course ending soon and of his then going on operations, and added, “I think we are very lucky as we shall just be in time for the autumn blitzes (which are certain to come).”

文章裡是介紹這位作者，年僅十九歲。  在二戰時，在英國上空做訓練飛行時發生意外，和另一架訓練機相撞斃命。  文章裡說他出生在中國上海，父母是傳道士。  他從小一開口講的是國語，後來才學英文。  之後又在英美兩國之間就學， 獲得耶魯大學獎學金，但是棄學從軍，進入英國皇家航空。  在他寫給父母的信中，他抄錄了這首詩，信裡提到當天飛機一飛上三萬英呎，他就開始有了詩的靈感，在降落後，一首詩(信裡用的詞彙是 ditty，短歌的意思)就完成了。    

a random record

 這是第三個星期二小瑋沒有來和媽媽研讀聖經了。  他在五月卅一日打電話來說他有心冠了。  媽媽很緊張，我記得我們第二天就拿點食物過去。  PQ  那時候還沒有染疫。  他來樓下拿了食物上去。  那個星期我們又拿了點東西過去，好像是一鍋雞湯，不對那是第一次拿的吧？  可是那個周末之後 PQ 也得了。  他兩沒有分房睡。  媽媽一直都在勸他們要分開睡。  可是你可以想像，住在公寓裡，是很困難的。  

我們聽說 PQ 感染了，我和媽媽也都立馬做了測驗。  各做兩次。  都沒有，不過原本說了要和胡熒阿姨去 Costco 後來也不去了。  

這兩個星期，小瑋不能來，也沒有見到他人。  上個星期六我把 Mei 的折疊腳踏車拿去小瑋家，是 PQ 下來拿的。  他大致上都已恢復，沒甚麼症狀了。  不過人看起來有點瘦。  當然還是沒有看到小瑋。  不過這兩個星期在電話上聽起來他人在逐漸好起來。  聲音雖然還是有痰， 但是愈來愈有精神。  昨天傍晚，媽媽看她打電話，打不到人，他在網上帶一個聖經研讀。  

這次，佩蘭阿姨，舅舅都有打電話給小瑋。  還不錯的哩。  媽媽也經常和小瑋聯絡。  雖說媽媽說自己總是說一些小瑋不愛聽的，例如應該要去拿針對心冠的藥，但是只要有打電話就好。  

只是個紀錄。  

詩鈔

 

宿石邑山中

唐代：韓翃

浮雲不共此山齊，山靄蒼蒼望轉迷。
曉月暫飛高樹裡，秋河隔在數峰西。

saw it at memorial hall library.  hung up in a frame on the wall.  

成長路錄音完成感想

 underwhelming.

The recording is so bad.  From narration, recording.  The only good thing is the source material.  But because of the bad recording.  Nobody in their right mind would finish listening even one clip.  

But that's fine, I am trying to comfort myself.  I already knew it when at the very beginning.  And I hope it  stayed that way.  

Underwhelming, a feeling I am perplexed.  Usually, I'd feel elated after I complete something, anything.  But not this time.  All I can feel is underwhelming.  Like nothing really happened.  I tried to look at the date when I started the project, it was 4/40/21, in the hope that the duration of he project would give me some satisfaction.  Although the quality of the result is not good, but I stuck to it till the end.  Of course, with my mom's push, faking interest, she already finished reading the book twice since I started the project.  

My initial goal is two folds.  For the outside world, I hope to preserve some very good literature online.  For myself, I wish to practice my speech this way, to preserve little bit of speaking ability.  Did any of these goals met, I ask myself.  For my speech, I am not sure, I think I will have to keep doing it because I don't speak to other people more than some surface conversation, if even that.  For the outside world, that's a lofty goal when no one will come and listen to it.  Although for the falu purposes, I rather have no people come listening.  

But even now I am typing the thoughts out, I am underwhelmed in a huge way.  I don't know why.  That's okay.  I guess in my heart, maybe I'd like to be very good at narrating the book.   However, this is basically my first recording for a real book.  Secondly, keep at it, nothing is good at first.  I can acknowledge that my potential for a good recording is very low.  But I am hoping I still have some way before reaching that low ceiling...  lol  

Animal sightings so far

 1. 

I was walking downtown.  I came to the Elm Square intersection.  Our town library is part of the intersection.  On top of it, there's a round pole.  It was twilight, the  traffic was quite heavy.  It was spring, the weather was quite nice.  There were people walking around.  What animal could I see in this heavy crowded area?  It was on top of that tip of the library dome.  A hawk was sitting on the tip, not moving at all.  But a crow, or raven was diving bombing him.  Again and again, the black bird came at him only 1 inch away.  The hawk was not moving at all.  It was an incredible sight.  I must watch for a few minutes then moved on.  A couple minutes later, I thought the crow left.  Then finally I saw the hawk flied away.  That left an impression on me.  The busy intersection, twilight, cars everywhere, eating eating, walking.  But hovering over them, was a struggle between 2 birds.  

2. 

Earlier this year, maybe march, I was awakened by the croak of turkeys.  I thought it was early for turkeys.  But then, what surprised me was I heard the something landing on the roof.  I turned my head and saw a strange sight.  A turkey flew to my roof, right outside of my window!  What a sight!  

3. 

I think it was a few week ago.  I was wakened by the croak of turkeys again.  The second time this year.  I wasn't impressed.  But just a little later, I heard a murder of crows or ravens crowing loudly nearby.  I immediately realized there's something wrong.  Crows must be witnessing something.  So I got up and looked out my window.  And sure enough, I saw a fox chasing after 2 turkeys.  I instantly took some pictures.  But they were of bad quality my camera don't have zoom.  After both turkeys and fox moved away, I ran outside in hope to see what would happen.  The turkeys were actually walking leisurely.  And the fox kept following them patiently.  The murder of 4 crows, fly along their paths, until they reach the elm street.  The fox saw me eventually, and I stayed a bit longer.  I stepped on the elm street, hoping to see how're the turkeys.  They still strode slowly along the elm.  The fox took off though, along with the crows.  

4. 

Crows made a nest in my pine trees at my backyard.  They were loud and very active.  It was about a couple weeks ago.   They were really loud, all 4 of them, but they were not flying around like usual.  They were all on the pine trees, did not leave.  I kept trying to see why, I thought there must be something wondered into my backyard.  But I saw nothing on the ground.  I went to bathroom and trying to poop.  Then only then, I saw something grey furs moving  along the trunk of the big pine trees.  A crow was crowing at it!!  I'd guess it was a raccoon.  But after that glimpse, I could not see it again!  The crows were still cawing though.  

5. 

A lot of roads in our town had a lot of construction all around.  So I changed my routine.  I switched to Rt. 125 bypass.  The route passed through a huge swamp, which was divided by Rt. 125.  It was unfortunate for the wild animals really.  Because I saw many dead animals along the route in the morning, the most stand out was a few dead bodies of beavers.  Very sad signs.  A road so very convenient for us, very dangerous for the rest of the animals.  And it divides the swamp, fractions the natural habitat.  

6.

Just this weekend, I went to horn pond with Aunt Grace's family.  I saw something interesting.  There was a spot for boating.   A group of Canadian geese swim towards that location.  But we were at that spot, so they held their advances and waited patiently for us leave.  Then, Roger and Becca spotted sth weird in the water.  A leaf floating with intention.  Then we realize it must be something aquatic animals like an otter.  The leaf floated towards the geese, then we saw a diving action.  A few second later, the geese was disturbed, and all of a sudden, all of them took fly, fled the water, except one goose.  He struggled some and swam alone away from the disturbed spot safely.  We never saw the otter itself though.  It was awesome.  

語言遊戲

 Hush!

With sudden gush

As from a fountain

Signs in yonder brush

The Hermit Thrush.  

--John B. Tabb

Saw the quote on YT video, which talks about Hermit Thrush.   The video showed how wonderful hermit Thrush's song is to our human ears.  And yet we human always have a hard time to locate the bird.  Because it's small, the color is ambiguous among its environment.  

The quote sounds like a fun exercise for the author, especially after I tracked down the whole poem.  I feel it is with this leisurely, playful way, showed how flexible this language can be.    

媽又摔跤了

 Mother had another fall today.  It's her fourth fall since last September.  This one she fell when she followed me to cross the street.  There's a road construction, the road is higher than the side walk, she must've watched me, did not notice the unevenness of the road.  Even though she had two walking stickers, her head had a huge bump, and her wrist injured as well.  It was so shocking, she could not walk.  I was trying to see if anyone can drive us.  I gestured to the cars drive by, but to no avail.  My mom finally said 911, I called and continued to wave at cars.  Finally, a car stopped, a young lady stopped but saw us without masks, she offered to call uber for us.  She even prepared to pay for the ride.  But the cop showed up and then so was ambulance.  We thanked the lady.  And the ambulance took mom to the Lawrence General Emergency.  Mom did not want to go.  But the bump on her head was really swelling and she was really shaken up.  I kind wanted her to go.  

When I got home, took her ID and Insurance, drove the emergency.  When I arrived, I instantly felt she's much calmer.  Dr, Timothy Chu was there consulting her.  Doctor said she seemed fine, without broken bones and very little chance of internal bleed.  He said there's no need for MRI.   He realized this is Mom's 4th falls in more than 6 months, he recommended in home Physical Therapy, which should call next week.  

Mom was really tired.  But she's so anxious.  She said she might need a NyQuil to help falling asleep.  I went to CVS, but saw ZZiquil.  Not sure, so I called my sister, who's having a covid bout.  For this reason, my mom did not want to tell her about the fall.  I told her everything, because I felt she kind needs to have a full picture to make a correct recommendation.  My sis was kind shocked too.  But know the full story, she recommended Tylenol PM, which is pain relief with sleeping aid.  I went home, told my mom I talked to the CVS consultation and Tylenol PM was the result.  

The reason Mom went to that road was because I forgot to bring aunt Grace's key.  Aunt Grace needed somebody to watch her apartment for a while.  I did not know when would she be home.  So I called mom to see if she could get key to me.  

I remember one of the fall was in the hospital.  I went with her that day, but stayed at waiting area.  I heard her yell, but did not expect her fell.  

I remember one of the fall was when she slept very little one night, she still wanted to exercise.  So she jogged around the house.  When I heard the sound, I came down stairs to jog with her while trying to make her laugh.  Then she fell right in front of me.  Her face hit the wall, her wrist was hurt trying to break the fall.  And her knee was in pain too.  

I remember one of the fall was when she trying to do something about her clothes that day.  She was standing right next to the kitchen counter, did not move her feet, only just turned her head.  Then she fell right in front of me, she bumped her ribs against the counter.  Nothing broke, we think.  But the pain last quite some times.  

This felt like a trend.  I really don't know what to do.  

It seems like...

 My lower back suddenly gave out last Wednesday.  From then on, I took 2 sick days.  I was lying down most of the weekends.  I had similar incidents before.  But not as bad as this one.  And a week or two ago, I was severely bloated, which is a rare event for me.  I wonder if those two incidents are related.  

My lower back pain this time actually feels like Sciatica pain.  Because it goes from my lower left side all the way to my left feet.  I can even feel the path of transmission, sometimes, it's tingling, sometimes it's heat.  It's also is subsided a little bit, very little bit.  I was on Jury Duty today, I was able to sit in the court waiting for judge's action, fortunately, the defendant pleaded guilty.  We were led go at 11:30.  I can move out of sitting position without too much pain, unlike what I encountered over the weekend.  

I wonder if it's sciatica, would be healed.  I wonder if it's not healed, what would I do?  My uncle has sciatica for 5 years now.  I was thinking about how he worked all his life, after retirement, he has difficulty moving around.  But suddenly, I am in the same situation.  I really have to make a decision, trying to learn and plan how I want to the rest of my life?!!