Player and the characters they play in a video game

I sometimes wonder the relationship between the player and the character he is playing in a video game.  Is it player exploring the game world by himself, or he's pretending to be the character he is playing?  There are many genres of video games.  RPG, Action, Adventure, Strategy...etc.  I am talking about mostly 3rd person games, which includes mostly RPG and Action.  

When I made a choice in a game, but the character in the game could not execute the command because he's not at certain level.  What psychological effect on the player?  Would he get frustrated?  Does he know why he could not ask the character to execute the action?  If he knew, but he still tried the action.  What kind of mind set is this?  

What if the character in the game was leveled enough to do the required action, but he flat out refused.  And then an inner dialogue start to argue inside the character's mind, what would that conversation be?  And how can the player participate in that conversation?  

When the player are moving along a storyline where the character was supposed to kill somebody, but he refused.  Or the character wanted to kick a chicken in a video game, but the player just did not want to.  What is the relationship between the character and the player?  The character still needs player to command actions to finish the story, the players still need the character to experience the game world.  

I used to envision a game where, the character and player were actually working together to solve a game.  They would argue, and fight, but eventually compromised to finish multi endings.  It's not a multiplayer game, but rather a sophisticated AI, who would argue with its human player, saying what he like to do, and what he doesn't like to do.  So, in way, arguing between player and character is a gameplay itself...  lol