I played tennis today. Roger emailed a group invitation to play tennis today. There were eight people including Roger and I. We played from 6 to 8. Most of the players were from Andover.
It reminded me how it was when I was in a group setting like this long time ago. That was my last year in college. I joined this Taiwan student club. I was blank in all the conversation. The only thing I wanted to do is to hide myself. It felt like I was the empty space. Same thing happened here. I can deal with strangers politely. But even chitchat is impossible. I am baffled by the situation. The language does not seem to be the issue there. I can speak Chinese at Taiwan student club's gathering. But no, My brain went freeze, mind went blank. I got no response inside of me. I do not say a word, but nod along.
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