Monday, June 28, 2010

action movie, some thought

a good action movie needs to have a decent story in my opinion. the easiest way to have a decent story is to create a cast of memorable characters. the most easiest characters are mostly stereotype ones. but the stereotype characters are hardly memorable. and that's where the problem is. how to create one or multiple stereotype characters, who are memorable. How? one of the successful way to do this, is to have a cause for the heroes in the movie that audience can identify and to empathize with. take notice here, i said empathize, not sympathize. to me, action heroes are a bunch of people who rough other people up while the audience may not agree with them, but they could not help saying to themselves that they understand the reason behind it.

the problem with action movie character is that a real persona would not be as exciting as a big talker, a tough guy. and a women honey bar. a real persona would be a guy who's hesitant to fight, he considered a lot before he actually take on any action. so far, one of the few real action persona that i saw was the main character in unforgiven. so you gotta ask what's the problem with stereotype guy in action movie? how's that a problem? the problem lied in that people started to pursue special effect than making a good story. because, a good story is hard to come by. for action movie, it's so easy to create stereotype characters, so why bother focusing on that while we could make explosion 3D? the whole thing stunt the growth of the whole genre in a certain level.

the other problem is the suspense. i don't see many action movies with good suspense. it's a shame. because the ability of shooting, martial arts, should be a great tool to create suspense. it should always make audience wonder how the character is going to proceed. is he going for the violence? is he going for reason? from here on, we then can create a character with depth. this is the reason leon is a classic.

finally, i want to say that a good movie usually means a good drama. this goes the same for action movies, so a good action movie is a good drama with action elements in it.

Friday, June 25, 2010

九一八事變史述的鈔錄與感想 事後感想和記實

這一系列是我在天涯小站上貼出來的. 有一個和談網友開了一個有關九一八的論串. 我一開始無上去討論, 因為我覺得那邊大多數都是大陸人, 我會害怕. 後來我想起來圖書館有一本梁敬錞教授的九一八事變史述. 我記這是我看過很棒的一本歷史傳業著作. 我想應該趁此機會介紹給大陸的網友看看. 所以我就存著一個鈔書的心情去參與這個九一八的論串. 一方面是介紹, 另一方面也是藉著這個機會仔細看一遍這本書.

我是從 2010.6.8 正式藉著評論別人的言論開始我九一八事變史述的介紹. 但是, 還不是很明顯. 雖說我的資料幾乎都從九一八事變史述上來, 我沒有提及書名. 到當天晚上, 我正式鈔錄大量的整段文字. 並且註名出處. 一開始是一個叫做 sevenstar 的網友批評, 他認為我和和談都是要翻案. 認為 '不抵抗政策", "不抵抗主義" , 是不可能翻案的. 我本就不是要翻案來的. 我是介紹此書來的. 此書對於不抵抗的事實從不掩飾. 但是, 提出新的見解, 那就是不談判還有黨爭誤國的重要性遠大於不抵抗的事實. 不抵抗也是其來有自, 並不是只為了共產黨. 我看了很合脾胃. 於是, 寫在我的論述裡. 之後, 和談和另一個網友, 慧心也提出多種意見和珍貴資料. 非常感謝. 我唯一的遺憾是, 後來來了一個叫 '莫員外' 的人, 和另一個叫做 'daoshan' 的人. '莫員外'是不僅歷史不知道, 他純粹來 '鬥爭' 的. 還污衊我是台獨. 'daoshan' 隨之附和. 那附和也是 'daoshan' 唯一的一篇...

我在 2010.6.23 還書, 我也寫在論串上. 我覺得史實的中立性很重要. 但是, 我自己本身一直都像是趙言田叔叔說的, 意識形態太強. 所以我盡量希望客觀, 但是, 還是有很多限制. 我一直引用史述裡的觀點, 但是, 我想我自己的意識形態是無法不容易改變. 到現在, 我還是認為不抵抗政策和主義不存在. 但是安內攘外的政策存在. 九一八當日和之後幾天內的不抵抗, 純粹是誤判. 之後, 寧粵黨爭激烈, 大大失去談判的條件和時機. 到了偽滿州傀儡國成立, 已再難挽回. 這次我參與討論, 從目前來看是很值得的經驗. 值得在於說, 看到反面意見, 深深瞭解自己到底知道多少, 自己的意識形態如何.

九一八事變史述的鈔錄與感想 (三)

我一向都有給資料來源... 請往前找...

另外, 的確是就史實論事情是好的. 但是, 你提出來的不過是 factoid. 不過是標語. 大家都只拿出標語的話, 並不能夠討論. 要討論, 就要拿出更多更深入的東西. 但是, 就像很多人說的, 大多數像我們這些不是學者專家的人要討論歷史是很困難的. 首先一樣就是史實知道的其實不多. 也多流於表面, 或者是印象. 而我手邊剛好有一本專書, 所以我想提出一些東西大家夥看看. 我這裡就不想提書名是啥了... 因為我已經提過很多次了... 你竟然還要問這個問題, 不答你, 不答你...

我對於國聯的東西還沒提出我的看法, 而你已經塞字在我嘴裡了. 實在有點可惜. 不過你塞的那些字, 其實是你對我提共的資料所生出的想法. 或許, 這也有些好處, 也說不定...

另外, 外交啊, 斡旋啊, 是很正常的管道. 而且也是應該的管道. 並不是弱者的自做多情. 在一戰後, 不僅僅是國聯的生成, 也有許多公約的產生. 這些東西的產生都是希望可以讓國家之間不要再用武力做決定矛盾和衝突. 中國那時是國聯的一份子, 在事變一開始遵守國聯的規則也不算太過. 以國際法來說, 並沒有吃虧. 但是最後執法的軟弱, 則有國際和國內的各種情況. 在我的認為這是值得介紹的.

還有, 有的人就怕翻案. 以我的程度, 翻啥案? 不過是希望獻上一朵別人沒看過的花, 希望有助於對九一八的全面瞭解. 而不是週而復始, 顛過來, 倒過去, 就只有不抵抗三個字...

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很 可惜... 當時中央沒有武力抵抗是一個事實... 這是一個史實. 你們都在期待啥哩? :p 不能夠瞭解有啥好失望的... 人都會犯錯誤, 政府也不例外; 人都會出意外, 政府也是一樣. 但是, 在錯誤之後, 意外之後, 能否認識問題的真相謀求補過, 防止未來意外的發生是現代人的責任. 這是正面積極的事情. 是可喜可賀的. 如果仍是像出了車禍當時, 車主一下車就互相指責對方, 七十九年如一日... 那是應該失望...

對於一個歷史的討論, 應該是在討論其中的終始原因, 和過程. 我前面已經說過, 一開始沒有軍事抵抗是事實, 但是, 真正使問題擴大到使日本在東北成立傀儡政府的原因則是因為九一八之後的交涉問題. 其中, 國民政府裡黨同伐異, 中國裡面共產黨叛亂, 地方各懷異心, 國際上大多是有心無力, 再加上經濟大恐慌. 這一切都把九一八推向谷底. 所以美國的史汀生才會說: "如果瀋陽事變是有人陰謀, 這陰謀所選擇的時期, 真是勝算." 但是, 以我個人認為, 最大的問題仍是國民黨裡的黨同伐異. 完全無法凝聚共識, 以致於失去很多交涉機會. 這對於現代, 已經過了七十九年的中國人, 大多數人的討論仍然只是過分簡單的分派錯誤, 用一句話不抵抗就解決了一件複雜的事情. 那中國人並不能真正成長. 民主社會最重要的事情就是人民的見識. 許許多多的青年在抗戰結束後, 後悔年輕時的孟浪. 因為, 對於國家, 對於政治, 對於外交, 對於經濟, 他們所知道的是如此片面. 又多來自別人的評論. 但是, 他們那時候對於某些事情, 例如九一八流於意識形態, 並不能完全怪罪他們. 畢竟他們身在其中. 但是, 對於七十九年後的中國人來說, 光是流於意識形態, 就很可惜了. 我們可以選擇站在巨人的肩膀上來選擇方向, 也可以選擇走過巨人的腳旁繼續往前走, 想說反正我一直走也會看到前面是啥.

是的, 我希望把史實貼上來, 有的人看過, 有的人沒看過. 看過後, 並不是說, 噢, 史實改變了, 政府打過了... 但是可以瞭解到史實的成因. 希望將來, 國家遇到類似的事情, 每個人或許可以有不同的看法和行動. 但是這個看法和行動希望是來自於真的史實, 而不是 factoid... 對於史實的意見, 每個人都會有不一樣的反應, 這是正常的, 畢竟青菜蘿蔔各人所好, 個性不同, 背景不同. 很正常.

如果有人問我, 我對整件事情的看法, 我總結為不抵抗的嚴重性不如當時政府的不團結, 不團結則不可能做出任何有效的交涉. 而事變之後的不交涉實際上才是問題的癥結. 這就是我的結論.

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另 外, 我不覺得有政策的存在, 我也不喜歡用主義這一個辭. 在我的印象裡, 主義要有一個嚴整的理論系統. 政策, 則要通過政府決議. 至於說不抵抗的行為, 我也覺得我說的很明白了. 在 #226 , 也說了當時的情況是兩個政府都希望不要真的兵戎相見. 關東軍的行動對於兩國政府來說是意外, 而之後中國的不團結和日本政府的無能, 則是我認為的癥結之所在.

那一朵鮮花就是史實. 我的資料來源就像我在 #235 上說的 大多是從九一八事變史述上鈔下來的. 如果你要問他的資料是哪兒來的, 那我可以告訴你, 他參考了超過兩百種中英日文文獻書籍, 其中包括日內瓦之國聯公報, 東京裁判之訴訟紀錄與政見, 日本外務省七十七年之檔案, 美國國務院舊檔... 我因為覺得這本書對於我這個不容易拿到啥好資料的人來說很棒, 所以藉著和談的論串囫圇貼出來一些... 我始終都認為中文維基的資料不夠好. 但是拿來和這本書比一比, 有關九一八的文章裡, 還是有可取之處. 另外, 有關共產黨的資料, 我比較不確定. 我只是想, 共產黨的網站或許可以相信吧.

我在 #235 說明我大部分資料來源, 但你竟然在 #236 問我的資料來源. 請恕我非常懷疑你的誠意和動機...

現在, 請你把你的資料來源貼出來.

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到 了熱河戰役的時候, 中央仍然因為地方問題和共產黨, 而受到與論的責備, 更有甚於九一八. 但是, 要知道, 這些都是中國走向真正共和的過程. 地方和中央的問題也都將在將來浮上檯面. 也永遠都會事爭論的焦點. 共產黨和國民黨的政府都是理想第一, 治下人民也都一開始會有這種教育... 這通常都製造一種假象. 不過我們本來就活在理想和現實中間... 大陸現在看起來中央超強, 但是在開放後, 地方會抬頭. 這裡, 就很希望中國人可以學到真實的歷史. 理想上的歷史...就讓他活在電影裡好了...

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九 一八當時不是那些戰犯當國... 當時是若襯內閣, 幣原喜重郎為外交官. 在當時, 都希望幣原可以控制情況, 不使擴大. 中國這樣想, 美國也這樣想. 但是, 事與願違. 至於說, 日政府在九一八發生後兩個月依然努力於不擴大事變但是徹底失敗的情況, 我也早貼出來過了. 不看. 不怎麼樣, 但是, 也不需要裝懂... 一般都是認為政治家應該是人在政存, 人亡政亡. 但是, 從事實來看, 並不是百分之百對.


有關幣原外相的介紹:


中文版的惟基
http://zh.wikipedia.org/zh-tw/%E ... C%E9%87%8D%E9%83%8E

日文版的維基

http://ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E5 ... C%E9%87%8D%E9%83%8E

百度
http://baike.baidu.com/view/815918.htm


貼 一個日文的, 因為, 中文的維基很可憐... 而百度, 很抱歉, 在我看不夠全面, 而且有特殊角度. 也難怪...

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感 謝. 受教.

我再提一下. 我們在看政府的時候, 政府並不是一塵不變. 這應該是常識, 對於瞭解日本政府也是一樣. 他們也在政黨政治和其他類型的政治間搖擺. 像九一八事變之前, 1929 年, 世界經濟走向越來越不好, 日本除了一戰後受到影響, 這一年影響也更深. 那些少壯青年軍人對於當時的日本政黨政治非常失望. 也是一大堆貪污腐敗的事情. 於是改變的願望於焉產生. 九一八時的日本政府一個樣子, 到了二戰結束的時候, 可以看到當時起事的關東軍都職司政府要職, 又是另一個樣子, 這種演變對於中國和日本都是痛心疾首的事情. 在某一方面我同意 sevenstar 說的, 如果東北軍就地強烈抵抗, 加強若襯內閣的地位, 而使幣原外相多了籌碼來控制關東軍. 這種可能性不低. 但是就像我之前說的, 中日民情洶湧, 這種假設也有其困難. 連史汀生說出不願意加諸日本太多壓力, 使幣原外相不容易控制關東軍. 我對這種言論的理解是, 當自身感到不夠強的時候, 往往以為退步可以免掉不必要的麻煩. 這樣子有時候是可以, 有時候不行. 這些背景都值得現代人研究瞭解, 供人做參考. 在上面的人知道, 所以有應付之道. 在下面的人知道, 所以有可以忍耐的可能. 讀史的實際意義, 不能過此.

日本一直都對東北有侵略之心, 這是無可否認. 至少有三次的滿蒙獨立運動, 第一次是民國剛剛成立, 第二次是拿倒袁做藉口. 第三次則是大家都熟知的山東出兵造成五三慘案. 但是, 田中的倒台就和五三慘案和之後張作霖被炸死很有關係. 之後, 若櫬內閣上台, 幣原外相掌握外交. 而中國也在蔣中正訪田中首相之後, 清楚看到日本對東北的論調和其野心. 在他回去後, 趁著幣原外相登台, 雙方互釋好意. 是的, 即使如此, 中日民眾的暗潮仍然不斷. 而後造成九一八. 但是九一八的成形和擴大則兩方政府都共有可以鑒於後世的地方. 我在這裡重述一次, 因為, 我上面貼的資料也或許太雜亂. 是需要整理一下...

另外, 九一八事變史述是196X 年成書的. 其中對於共產黨的論述可沒有少. 我盡量避免這一話題, 但是很困難. 因為就像共產黨自己的網站裡對他們的 "同志" 的敘述. 很多都是群眾運動出生... 當時民情洶湧, 無論是江西的還是東北的同志, 共產黨難辭其咎. 日本很多有關的敘述, 像最大的一個圖門間島暴動, 但是中國網站似乎不好找. 還有就是提到俄國的問題. 俄國在 1925 年和日本的商業到了 1931 年, 至少增加五倍. 而在 1927 到 1931 年間, 他和日本簽了至少兩次互不侵犯條約. 而在此同時期, 歐洲和俄國的共產黨相關報紙都大力支持中國的 "革命" 事業... 這些幾乎都是九一八事變史述來的. 就共產黨和俄國的問題, 很抱歉, 我還是認為很值得研究. 他們對於九一八的醞釀我覺得有間接也有直接的關係. 但是, 這純粹是個人意見. 我始終都覺得這一環是所研究裡最弱的一環.

國聯的部分也很重要. 事實上, 中國人自從秦朝統一後, 外交上的技巧和態度就從春秋戰國的時候退步很多. 咱們獨霸東方, 外交的必要性減少. 但是這種心態使的近代中國人自清末之後屢屢受到各種苦味. 拿九一八來說, 日本在美國迅速行動. 本來當天要回國報告的日本大使, 立刻終止行程, 馬上連絡美國國務卿史汀生. 而且各式各樣的外交行動一樣一樣接著來. 反觀中國, 連一個大使也沒有, 只有一個代辦... 不過, 還好國聯裡的中國代表表現很好. 這是中國人應該知道的. 對於國聯的結論, 中國人也應該知道. 對於國聯的情形, 中國人也應該知道. 中國人當然也可以毫無所知, 然後大罵國際無信義, 無正義, 不可靠. 但是這種無知的行為, 是不能夠幫助現在和未來的中國. 這種無知只是助長無可理諭的仇外心理. 大為不可取, 甚至危險之極. 身處外國, 更應該瞭解其中的重要性.

最後, 我要感謝和談慧心阿里郎的支持. 我藉著和談的論串, 算是稍微仔細讀了九一八事變史述. 之前也看過, 但是, 這一次鈔了一大堆東西. 看的更仔細. 和談找了一大堆的文章, 也很長見識. 慧心提供很多觀點並且提醒我有關錦州中立區的問題. 我一直都以為只是中央政府的混亂所以才沒有成功. 這個計畫的失敗的確是很多群眾學生的反對而沒有成立! 那書上到最後才提到這一點... :p 另外, 七星的言論也讓我看到很多東西, 使我有所驚醒. 他提供的資料, 也促使我看書看的更仔細. 在此感謝. 另外, 馬騮講了我所講不出的東西. 我好高興. 那種有字吐不出來的感覺, 很令人沮喪. 有人說出來我心理的話, 很快意. 最後再謝謝老巫. 我的確是很不高興. 有人鼓勵我不讓我往 dark side 走, 感謝感謝.

最後, 我的書今天還了... 借期到了. 我也沒戲唱了. lol

九一八事變史述鈔錄與感想

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國際聯盟調查小組的報告書, 發表於 1932/10/2:
調查團報告書分十章, 前八章為事實, 後兩章為解決原則和建議.
其中對於日本關東軍自衛與滿州國民族自決均加否認. 但是對於解決原則和建議則相當偏頗.

另外, 也有格魯大使和美國 mccoy 將軍有關報告書的談話, 也顯露許多未宣布的許多意見和情況:
一, 調查資料多得自東北各國教會教徒之報告. 日方供給資料亦不少, 但多互相衝突. 掩飾形跡之意圖明顯.
二, 滿州國中國官吏都有內心反對意見. 但是奇怪的是, 贊成滿州國的人, 美國商人比別國都多.
三, 張學良知識水準甚高, 他一面了結中村案, 一面得到幣原外相諒解, 以為可以無事, 因此不下令軍隊抵抗, 以免關東軍藉口, 實行軍事佔領.
四, 如果東北事變不發生, 中國共產黨軍隊會被撲滅.

調查報告之後, 又有十九國委員會之報告書:
一, 東三省主權屬於中國.
二, 日本在東三省所獲之全力, 每足以限制中國主權之行使.
三, 解決中日爭執之和平手段並未盡用.
四, 日本未嘗履行盟約上先請公隊斷之義務.
五, 日本違反盟約第十條規定, 佔取中國領土, 並使之獨立.
六, 九一八晚間之日軍行動並非自衛, 縱使其當地軍官自信自衛, 而其瀋陽城內與他處之行動, 亦決非自衛.
七, 自衛亦不能解除盟約第十二條(指公斷)之義務.
八, 滿州國之能夠成立的原因是因為日本軍隊之在場, 故滿州國之成立非出自民族自決之運動.
九, 中國並不排外.
十, 抵制日貨在九一八後, 係正常國際報復.
總結: 九一八事變之前原來之緊張狀態, 其責任固在於當事國雙方, 而自九一八以後所有情勢之發展, 中國不負責任.

作為中國人, 怎能不知道這些? 這是中國外交家努力之結果. 雖然當時, 因為各國自身的因素, 處理失敗. 但是, 此結語對於中日兩國對於九一八之責任當是一字不易!

---------------------------------------------

關於共產黨在東北的歷史, 我想讓共產黨底下的網站自己說比較公平.

這個是說明東北共產黨的形成
http://baike.baidu.com/view/476454.htm

節錄:

組建

1927年党的“八七”会议后,党中央为了统一对东北党组织的领导,决定派陈为人组建中共满洲省委。同年10月在哈尔滨召开了东北地区第一次党员代表大会,宣告中共满洲省临
[中共满洲省委旧址]
中共满洲省委旧址
时委员会成立,省委机关设在奉天(沈阳)。1928年9月,中共满洲省临委在沈阳召开了东北地区第三次党员代表大会,大会决定将中共满洲省临委改为中共满洲省委。陈为人、刘少奇、陈潭秋、罗登贤等先后担任省委书记。中共满洲省委旧址内设有刘少奇旧居纪念馆。中共满洲省委旧址自1986年对外开放以来,共接待国内外观众20万人次,现已成为进行党史教育和爱国主义教育的重要场所。

這個稍微說說東北共產黨在東北做的事情:
http://bbs.top81.cn/redirect.php ... post&sid=t462t6

節錄:

1930年初,张浩根据全总工会党团五次会议决定,以特派员身份赴东北指导工作。4月,他化装成一个贩卖木材的商人,风尘仆仆到达哈尔滨。根据满洲省委指示精神,他同中共哈尔滨特委唐宏景等,立即组织群众举行纪念“五一”劳动节的活动。原计划5月1日上午集会,群众在道里同发隆百货店(后为市政府办公楼,现已无存)广场集合,先召开群众大会,然后举行游行示威。但由于下大雨,加上地方当局掌握了信息,在同发隆附近布满了军警、密探,张浩等决定将集会地点改在南岗秋林洋行(今秋林公司)。下午5时,参加集会的群众出敌不意地聚集在距秋林洋行不远的日本总领事馆(后为花园小学,已拆除)附近,在张浩的带领下,他们打出了“打倒日本帝国主义!”“反对日本侵略满蒙!”等横幅,高呼口号,散发传单,还用石块狠砸了日本总领事馆,领事馆三层楼的所有门窗玻璃全被砸碎。一个执勤警察企图从三楼窗户开枪,但示威群众毫无惧色,一阵石块打得他再也不敢露面。

do know this, 國民黨東北黨部要到 1931 年三月才成立.

-------------------------------------------------


並不是的. 我上面的回帖最主要還是有關你這裡提到說, 共產黨不是在江西嗎? 的問題. 我對此問題也不清楚, 所以藉著梁敬錞教授的書查到一些相關的資料. 我想, 你問這個問題有幾個可能, 一是你真的不知道; 那麼連你對歷史那麼有興趣的人都不清楚, 我想這些資料對你和其他的瀏覽此網站的中國人都應該據有一定的意義.

再來, 有關俄國的資料, 比起日本英文和中文的資料, 我看到的相對少的 "非常" 可憐...
但是, 我認為他非常的重要. 因為共產黨是國際組織, 幾乎可以比做是宗教組織. 這是我個人的直覺認為.
至於說, 有無啥陰謀, 我現在不能下客觀論斷. 主觀上, 我認為或許沒有全盤陰謀, 但是俄國希望中國拖住日本是很實際的政治願望.

--------------------------------------------------

客觀情勢上是, 中國和日本政府都已逐漸嗅到戰爭的氣味. 兩方都有人馬努力於改變相撞的航線. 於是一自五三慘案勉強解決, 山東撤兵後(1929, 5.13). 通商新約分別簽訂(1929.4.26); 日本對國民政府正式承認(1926.7.3), 中國反日大會則自動改名為廢約促進會, 並對排日運動禁止. 日本內閣亦曾於翌年(1930.10.19), 正式決議, 廢去之那的名稱, 換以中華民國之稱謂. 中間儘管仍稍有感到不愉快的事情. 在重光葵的努力下, 不特中國關稅自主的稅率得到日本之承認, 及中國收回法權之要求, 亦曾有過具體的方案. 所以就一九三一年上半年而言, 中日兩國政府時曾各欲尋求協調之路, 而不欲以武力相周旋也. (節錄自九一八事變史述)

但是兩國人民的暗潮則反是. 東北共產黨分支的建立, 我已給了一點介紹. 就此打住...

日本在 1925 年改變普選制度, 這個立刻影響到日本僑民. 在1928 年五月四日(來源是中華民國史事日誌)成立滿州青年聯盟, 這是大連日本各團體發起的. 似乎是因應普選制度, 由滿鐵之廿區代表, 選出九十名年輕議員. 當時日本左派份子曾有滿蒙放棄論之鼓吹, 滿州青年聯盟則以 "滿蒙死守論" 抵制之.

簡介:

滿洲青年聯盟是以大連新聞社企劃的模擬議會為契機,
1928年時由20~30多歲的在滿日人所組成的民間團體,
1929年時會員人數就有 2700多人左右,
該聯盟基本上對中國採強硬態度,
九一八事變之前就一直向日本本土派出遊說團以希望喚起排外的輿論,
1931年 10月23日該聯盟更向關東軍司令官提出《滿蒙自由國建設綱領》,
當中提到「為與南京政府對抗起見,組織形態參照該政府」,
蒙疆聯合自治政府主席最高顧問金井章次在擔任此一職務次就曾任滿州青年聯盟的代理理事長。

介紹這個不過也就是仍試圖把當時的背景描繪出來. 政府和民間的反應, 共識, 互相之間的影響.

最後貼一個感謝狀:

http://www.dl-library.net.cn/wenxian/old/content.php?id=980

看不懂日文, 但是小字介紹說是關東軍感謝滿州青年聯盟在九一八事變的貢獻.

-----------------------------------------------

再鈔一點有關九一八事變時的世界大事和國聯裡初期的一些討論:

九一九:
九一八深夜, 白宮舉行重要會議, 討論英國放棄金本位, 美要如何應付; 美國銀行倒閉風潮正烈, 八月份倒閉一五八家, 九月份, 三一六家, 失業人數逾千萬.
九月英國大西洋海軍艦隊士兵因減薪譁噪回國聽審.
智利艦隊反對減薪, 九月份向政府提出最後通牒, 嗣由空軍往炸, 始請降.
國聯行政院第六十五屆常會開會, 中國代表施肇基, 日本代表芳澤謙吉各自提出報告.

九廿:
夜半, 倫敦消息, 英國定明日放棄金本位, 全國銀行停業.

九廿一:
國聯行政院開會, 我代表施肇基奉令請國聯案盟約十一條處理中日瀋陽衝突. 並要求 1. 制止事變擴大, 2. 回覆原狀, 3. 考究賠償性質及數額; 日代表芳澤報告, 日政府已採不擴大事變政策...希望中日直接交涉.
美國國務卿史汀生(stimson)覆國聯秘書長, 請勿對日過用壓力, 以免幣原外相制止軍人發生困難.
駐美中國 "代辦" 容揆奉令牒致美國務院請按九國公約, 非戰公約為必要之措施.
紐約時報大字新聞: 第一條, 英國停止金本位; 第二條, 中國瀋陽軍隊與日兵衝突.

九廿二:
史汀生在閣議上, 建議對日採取監視態度, 勿用壓力.

九廿三:

國聯五國委員會開會, 我施代表請按希保成例, 派遣調查員, 英代表同意, 並提出三點,
1. 按照希保先例, 請日本先撤兵至鐵路區域.
2. 請美國合作.
3. 不得藉口自衛權, 侵占別國土地.

日代表初不贊同, 後同意先請訓; 日代表下午時得知美國務卿不贊同此項提案, 遂表示拒絕.


九廿四:
日本強烈要求中國與之直接談判.

---------------

解釋一下, 希保成例是希臘和保加利亞之間的軍事衝突, 由國聯介入而圓滿解決.
另外, 要不是九廿三美國反對, 日本撤軍和中立國的調查員也得以早日進行調查...

來源是九一八事變史述, 我幾乎所有來源都是這本書...

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九一八事變史述的鈔錄和簡單感想

我看到有關的只有提到說, 俄國為了避免不和日本作戰, 他們願意放棄東北利益. 東北也就變成日本跳攻俄國或著中國的基地. 白俄在東北和日本合作... 等等... 好像那時候, 史達林那時候正在他三個五年計畫裡的第一個. 當然如果再加上共產黨的東西, 那就稍多一點. 但是即使如此還是太少了... 以俄國侵略東北超過七十年的歷史, 再加上共產黨的威力, 未被發覺的資料絕對是要多的多.

------------------

我基本上認為 sevenstar 提到當時如果東北軍就地抵抗的話, 日本的溫和派 "說不定" 可以抬頭是可能的. 但是, 這種可能的東西也可以反咬你一口... 你也可以說, 如果抵抗的話, 以當時兩國的民情很可能直線上升, 而爆發大戰.... 如果又像中東路那樣, 東北軍中看不中打... 這種假設沒啥大意思... 如果說要談論歷史上的人物, 應該就發生的史實來論斷.

蔣到底打不打, 這是很容易可以知道的. 他的直轄部隊絕對打. 五三慘案之後幾天, 日軍就猛攻駐守在附近的國軍. 國軍連撐三天, 死一千多人, 之後, 接到命令後才撤退. 五三慘案最後由外交途徑勉強解決. 在此之後, 日本政治方面是溫和派當權, 在九一八之前, 兩對兩國最高政府官員為了萬寶山事件, 中村事件展開溝通和談判. 以外交來說, 兩造都希望和平解決事件. 而以中國來說, 當時汪精衛胡漢民在廣東另組政府, 政府軍要征討; 共產黨在江西, 政府要征剿; 另外還有長江嚴重的水災. 對於中國政府, 處境非常困難. 九一九, 征討廣東的軍隊撤回; 之後剿共國軍也退後, 結果根據共軍的敘述是, 他們又得到了大勝, 並且誇耀打死三萬國軍.

再來說東北軍. 東北軍為數的確是不少, 但是九一八之後, 關東軍在日本政府的十二到金牌下, 也無法真的增兵或著是大的軍事行動. 他們怎麼辦呢? 那就收買中國自己的軍隊... 當時所收買的軍隊, 至少就有五支. 和馬占山將軍炸橋阻止叛軍來黑龍江省, 結果又予日軍藉口修橋進攻黑龍江省. 另外, 張學良在事件一開始就在錦洲設行帳, 也就是指揮總部. 他要等待政府的政策...

中東路的地段呢? 那可是俄國的... 他們怎麼辦呢? 沒關係, 俄國通知日本, 我們不會打攪你. 請打中國軍...

所謂不抵抗, 並不是一種主義, 更不是一種政策. 這是當時的外交環境下所產生的共識. 就因為日本本國的政治如此複雜, 這是希望在盡可能的情況下, 不要發生戰鬥而致使關軍少壯派得到外交失敗的藉口而可以進行實質作戰. 日本當時自身的經濟在一戰後, 大受困窘, 造成社會不安. 因為, 社會不安, 結果造成民粹, 滿蒙論本就是多年的政策, 現在大大抬頭. 少壯派軍人趁時而起, 早在前幾年就醞釀政變, 1931 年三月就有一次失敗的政變. 九一八之後, 十月又有一次失敗的政變. 這使的日本政府對於控制關軍的力量大大縮小. 這也是我也認為東北軍應該就地抵抗的原因. 因為如果抵抗成功, 使關東軍傷亡慘重, 的確日本政府的地位會大大提升. 但是, 要知道, 在九月廿一日, 駐朝鮮的日軍就擅自開上來了, 這已不光是關東軍一個地方軍的力量. 上面有提到朝鮮軍需要天皇的命令, 但是, 對於日本政府而言, 可怕就在這裡. 朝鮮援軍到過了鴨綠江, 就屬關東軍, 至於數量我不是很清楚. 另外, 關東軍也不是一萬人, 而是有四萬人. 就地抵抗到底能夠怎樣, 我覺得結果很難說... 依照那時日本國情, 關東軍實際上很希望中國軍開槍抵抗... 關東軍在此之前, 他們上給日本政府的報告和日本外交官的報告就相互衝突. 關東軍的報告總是中國軍隊開槍了, 外交部的報告總是, 沒有沒有, 沒開槍... 而一旦開槍, 東北軍是否能夠支持? 中東路事件會不會重演? 在國聯的時候怎麼申辯? 這一切都是當時中國政府的考量.

但是, 最重要的地方還是在國民政府本身. 九一九, 國民政府就馬上召開特別會議. 並電蔣中正回京. 他們另外請蔡元培等到廣東要求一起應付對策. 之後為了解決黨爭問題, 有了上海會議, 廣東代表提出說軍人不可以當國家主席, 軍人不可以當五院院長等等, 於是黨爭繼續. 宋慶齡稱上海會議是, 只為黨爭, 而完全不顧及國家和人民. 到了十二月, 國民政府提出設立錦州為中立地區, 但是, 那時黨爭日熾, 中央無人能夠做決定. 十二月十五日, 蔣中正被逼下臺, 汪精衛政府未能給予錦州的東北軍強力支持, 錦州失陷.

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當時國府在九月組成特種外交委員會專門針對九一八, 在十一月的時候有七個主要的觀點:

一. 判斷日本軍政策必達到完全佔領東三省為止. 日外交當局已逐漸追隨日軍部行動. 故一切觀察判斷, 應以軍事為前提.

二. 判斷日本將以鏟除我在東三省號令機關為目的, 故我錦州軍政勢力必受攻擊. 所有日本在 "平津清濟滬寧武漢" 之各種陰謀, 全為達此目的.

三. 判斷國聯欲盡力削除日本之陰謀, 但因各國重要政策, 因其計畫皆未完成...因此國聯不能採取任何有利之制裁.

四. 判斷美國有必要時, 有運用九國公約, 出面對日本做有利抵抗之可能.

五. 判斷此次對日交涉, 中國在國際上必得最後之勝利, 此時一切政策, 宜以團結民心為要者. 對外策略: 第一中國無論如何絕先不對日宣戰; 第二需盡力維持各國對我之好感; 第三需盡力顧慮實際利害, 以錦州為限...軍事犧牲亦在所不惜...

六. 判斷此時仍需盡力表示中國政府對國聯之信任. 有三層利益: 第一可以減少國內人民責備政府之心理; 第二不致傷各國之感情; 第三將來運用九國公約對美較易說話.

七. 日本陸軍政策用盡時, 反陸軍政策之勢力必將繼起執政, 但此時期, 實現尚遠...

當時的政策不存在不抵抗政策, 也無所謂不抵抗主義. 九一八之後, 從這裡可以看出來, 這時候早已是聯絡國聯, 準備作戰. 因為他們早已知道國聯之不可靠.

當時為了促粵政府北上, 蔡元培陳銘樞等南下香港和孫科等會談. 九月雙方擬寧粵合作基礎如下:

一. 蔣主席引咎, 通電聲明, 俟統一政府成立, 即行下野.
二. 粵府亦通電引咎, 聲明非統一無以救國, 隨即取消粵府, 但不以蔣主席下野為條件.
三. 通電雙方同時發表, 目下停止互相攻擊.
四. 變更京滬戍衛組織, 希望粵方同志安心來京.

之後十月廿七, 大老們雲集上海, 胡漢民, 汪精衛, 蔣中正, 等等, 於是上海統一會議開始. 到十一月四日結束, 共六次會談. 談了不少東西, 例如軍政制度, 財政制度, 地方制度, 但是中心目的則是, 我之前提到的, 國府主席資格之限制(如軍人不能當主席), 權貴之剔除(主席不負責實際政治權責), 總司令職位之廢棄, 及軍人不得為五院院長等等(時蔣主席兼任行政院長)... 在此之後, 南京讓步. 但是他們又吵中全會委員的數量, 結果造成中委會委員的濫觴.

宋慶齡論上海會議我之前也提了一下, 這裡全錄:

國民黨已喪失其革命集團之地位, 統一會議, 櫌攘三月, 只以分配中委名額與大官高位為職志, 對於最大多數之民眾利益皆未計及.

之後粵政府又分裂, 胡汪分裂... 等到南京的中全會結束, 粵府中全會閉幕已經是十二月七日閉幕. 粵會閉幕前兩日, 胡漢民等通電要求蔣中正下臺. 中國在國聯提的錦州中立區方案, 在中樞無人的情況下, 撤回. 十二月十五日, 蔣中正辭職回籍. 一中全會於十二月廿一日京召開, 林森當選主席, 孫科當選行政院長, 蔣汪胡當選中執委常務委員. 可是三人互不能容, 蔣回老家, 汪稱病在滬, 胡稱病在粵. 政府完全失去中心. 一月三日東北軍撤出錦州. 孫科主政, 未及一個月, 軍事財政困難, 乃謁蔣於杭州, 邀汪於上海, 于右任則南下晤胡於香港. 一月十六日, 蔣汪會於西湖之澄廬, 商得蔣專任軍事, 汪主行政院之辦法. 一月廿一, 蔣汪同到南京, 政府改組, 胡漢民終究沒有來. 一週之後, 第一次淞滬戰役起.

資料來源是九一八事變史述, 梁敬錞著

從這裡, 問題的來源在我看是不夠獨裁... lol 如果是莫員外, Sevenstar 大概早就打起來, 而且勝利了...

另外, 我也覺得很奇怪, 為啥都無人提一提滿族的動向呢? 是因為他們已經是太少數了, 連提都不用提了, 還是說有其他因素, 我很是好奇.

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不抵抗並無政策可言. 所能找到相關的文件都只是九一八事變之前, 相關人員互相間的電報. 告訴對方要小心, 不要接受關東軍的挑釁. 根本無政策可言. 更遑論主義. 更何況, 不接受挑釁事並不是 "不抵抗". 老在說不抵抗的, 是完全無視於中國政府和日本政府在之前外交上的努力. 九一八之前, 兩國政府都試圖在小心渡日子. 這之後的變數, 問題實際上並不是之前那口口聲聲的 "不抵抗政策". 而是當時和之後政府的黨爭.

有關東軍的軍數, 你怎麼講都不對. 首先我手邊九一八事變史述裡, 根據當年外交部的白皮書, 全東北關東軍兩萬多人, 再加上在鄉軍人, 四萬人數有. 另外, 就算這資料不準確, 你也承認, 朝鮮日軍的確是渡過鴨綠江. 渡過鴨綠江, 就屬關東軍, 那一萬人數字基本上不對. 一萬人的數字據史述裡也有提到, 那是關東軍自己對外宣稱的. 還有, 這四萬人的人數也近於維基上說的. 維基的人數是三萬到六萬六, 加起來一除, 四萬多. 我這裡提到兩個來源, 一個是史述, 一個是維基. 另外, 史述裡的東北軍人數是將近十八萬, 和維基的數目十六萬還算接近.

我沒有承認日本本土軍隊增援的不可能. 我認為如果抵抗後, 如果關東軍消耗過大, 則日本政府必然地位大增. 的確是可能使問題縮小, 甚至於沒有. 但問題是, 這些都是馬後砲... 也就是歷史的如果. 因為當時九一九時, 呈現在中國政府面前的是, 瀋陽的東北軍撤退, 日本關東軍已經佔領瀋陽. 九一九的時候, 宋子文正和重光葵在上海討論中村事件. 這時候的氣氛必然和我們現在後人看到的大不一樣. 日政府的無力, 關東軍如此強硬, 俄國竟然放棄北滿權益...這些都不是那些正看到事件發生的人所能完全看到的.

馬占山將軍被國民政府任命黑龍江省主席. 這是另一個明證, 這裡無所謂的 "不抵抗" 政策... 另外, 九一八並不是只有一天. 他之後的日子比當天發生的事情更重要. 每個政府都會遇到不能防備的事情. 而他們之後處理事情的狀況態度能力, 在我的認為才是更值得知道的事情.

你竟然問把蘇聯扯近來幹嗎? 俄國不就在那裡嗎... 中國能把他扯近來? 他人好好的巨大的在東北三省的北部. 不用扯, 早就在那裡七十年還多了... 沒錯, 七十載經營, 一旦拱手讓人? 不合常理. 他有啥企圖? 另外, 共產黨哩?

至於說給老蔣爭光. 實在是不瞭解. 他已經很光了, 還要怎樣光? 全中國人都知道他... 你們這些講話豪爽的都並不能真的從這事件中汲取教訓. 要瞭解其中的關鍵, 得要更正確的看整個事件, 而不是只要提到九一八, 就是不抵抗... 明末的時候, 崇貞皇帝秘密要找後金議和, 所以他可以專心處理流寇的問題. 結果秘密被發現, 朝野大嘩. 那個幫皇帝議和的不就是秦檜嗎?! 難道崇貞沒看到歷史教訓? 於是乎, 議和停止. 可是政府不能兩面作戰. 流寇問題, 不光是軍事問題, 更有經濟社會等等. 又絕對不是可以放手的, 然後只去和後金戰鬥... 哪有無身體可以去打架的? 最後崇貞上吊了. 殊不知道, 歷史的問題要找到癥結, 而不是一昧堅持, 不能議和不能議和... 這事情也一樣. 與其堅持在那虛無空有的 "不抵抗政策". 還不如尋找真正問題的癥結, 黨爭. 難道說, 黨爭的話, 蔣就可以脫離關係嗎? 不能! 當時的政府他是主席, 他能脫離關係嗎? 不行! 但是, 罵要罵到痛處, 而不是那個可憐的 "不抵抗"... 這裡有無啥現代人可學習的東西. 有很多很多. 但是, 只一個不抵抗, 學不到東西. 就算你不爽和談好像想給蔣反案, 你也得提些新東西出來... 口頭禪只能讓你爽. "如果" 也只能讓你感覺自己無敵罷了...

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黨爭的問體有多嚴重...
關東軍有鑒於國際壓力巨大, 決定要成立一個傀儡政府, 於是滿州國的構想於此而發.
當上海統一會議正在進行. 土肥原從東北到天津把宣統誘騙到東北.
滿州國的形成就開始了.
黨爭使中國政府失去時間, 更失去重心, 完全失掉推動對策的力量.
如果政府可以全心來對付這一事件, 宣統也不會那麼輕易的走掉, 而給別人製造一個滿州國的機會.
甚至 1932 年, 日本宣稱中國根本只是一個地理名詞. 因為他動亂無已.
這也是為啥唐德剛視現在中國海峽兩岸為一個必然之過程.
從袁世凱開始就希望達成對全國的統治, 最後在毛的手裡稍稍達成.
但是, 這只是初步達成. 因為, 九一八所遇到的黨爭, 中國(台灣香港大陸)也將會再遇到.
必須要從中找到可行的行政辦法, 一方面不是獨裁, 一方面不是像九一八時那樣, 黨同伐異而無法有效的任何事情.

人很容易提到一個事件就以一個口號來掩蓋所有的內容. 提到九一八, 就是不抵抗; 提到蔣中正就是獨裁; 提到油就想到胖... 但是有無人知道, 在九一八之前, 日本的幣原外相和中國駐日代表說, 希望要在他(幣原外相)還在的時候, 趕快讓中日兩國關係改善. 只有瞭解當時外面的環境和當時政府的本身的動亂, 才能真正有所實益. 看了不知道多少文章和討論, 不抵抗三個字一來, 啥都不用談了. 不僅討論雙方毫無所獲. 看的人也是一頭霧水, 浪費時間. 所以我說, 九一八, 關鍵不是不抵抗, 而是黨爭. 至少, 我知道我提出一點新東西. 而不是一個口頭禪.

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俄國在拿破崙時代的焦土抗戰是主動的戰略, 中國九一八丟失領土不是因為自己的戰略.
而是他的誤判還有黨爭. 誤判所以造成了不抵抗的現象. 黨爭所以浪費任何有效的反應時間.

在民國廿年, 也就是 1931 年, 六月, 廣東政府的外交長甚至和日本的外交部接觸, 願意答應承認日本在東北的權利來換取武器和裝備...他甚至說, 日本和我政府(粵)都有共同目標要打倒蔣中正的政權... 九一八發生後三個月, 擴地幾十萬方里, 甚至到達福建, 他的口號是打倒賣國國民政府, 保衛蘇聯祖國...

另外, 有人說共產黨不是在江西嗎? 最好去看看, 東北也有共產黨. 就算是反共嚴厲之極的日本, 其治下的本土和朝鮮都有共產黨, 更何況是東北? 這應該是常識... 連台灣在光復的時候都有共產黨, 更何況是領土直接接壤的東北?

至於日本呢? 日本陸軍參謀部在十一月底前, 先後發了九次參部所能發出的最重的停戰命令, 臨參委命. 先後派了至少五個政府代表, 絕對制止事件擴大, 要求關東軍停止攻擊任何地方. 但是那時候, 中國政府在幹啥? 先是上海統一會, 從十月底到十一月初. 十一月初之後是四中全會, 為了委員名額, 粵政府分裂, 汪胡分手, 然後開會, 一直到十二月初, 再來是要求蔣下臺, 也要求張學友下臺. 只是還給他戴了一個名銜, 要他死守錦州, 又籌不出餉來... 宣統一被賺到東北, 十一月底一過, 早已被可能的十月政變嚇歪歪的日本政府, 現在又有多年來夢想成立滿州國的大好時機與最好的傀儡. 如此誘惑, 再也不能擋. 滿州國的體制法度一被關東軍設計好, 十二月十七日, 日本貴族院, 眾議院通過決議案通通對關東軍致最大敬意, 甚至天皇也下召獎勵. 報紙大大詆毀中國軍隊的暴行, 大大稱讚日軍的強訊有力之反應. 即使是友好如幣原外相, 在失敗的十月政變之後, 也早已無法再有作為. 同年十二月十七日, 若櫬內閣倒臺, 犬養毅組內閣, 支持關東軍.

再來, 有關國際聯盟的事情是又長又麻煩. 只是要知道, 九一八之所以重要, 並不光是因為他是抗戰的先聲, 他實際上是二戰的先聲. 在此之前, 國聯成功處理很多國際糾紛, 包括軍事糾紛. 但是經過 1931/9/19 到 1933初, 國聯徹底失敗解決九一八事變. 結果是日本退出國聯, 俄國進入國聯. 接著義大利侵入衣索比亞, 國聯無力作任何回應; 1935, 希特勒乾脆也退出國聯. 1937 年, 義大利也退出國聯.

黨爭無已時, 甚至搞不清楚狀況... 我盡量少提共產黨, 但是很可惜, 不能不提. 我盡量多提一些當時中國政府發生的事情. 因為我覺得很重要. 黨爭很正常, 但是黨爭有時, 團結有時. 而且要看準時間做啥事. 我認為要有底線. 全國人都要有一個底限. 過了這個底限, 不再黨爭. 大陸現在好像黨爭看不大到, 但是時間會來到. 台灣和香港黨爭很厲害, 底線哪裡?

Thursday, June 24, 2010

lost days

i just discovered some diaries from the my first year in college. this is a rare discovery since i destroyed most of diaries long time ago. i will try to record most of it here. there's no date assigned on the original diary. i will just assign number on each entry. it's in chronicle order though.

1. today I got my second CEE Engineering Lab Report back, my goodness, i got "61.5/10". i got 70 Last time, and now i got this grade. I started to wonder could i really pass this course, could i really survive in Engineering? I'm really afraid. So I went to see professor Ho and TA Jeff. I did not get much encouragement, ha, Professor Ho, probably thought ~ "another weird guy..." He told me to find some people to work together. Yeah, i know i'm too lonely right now, but i can't see any chance to know "some people".

2. To sit in front of the computer, i usually either doing my school work or catch pictures on the net. I catch every kind of pictures i could think of. i got photograph, caricatures, indoor designs, comics, computer graphic, dojo, and movie pictures, including wallpapers and celebrity. I know some people would think it's a stupid hobby, as what i see myself doing this. Sometimes i myself would want to stop too, but i can't. it is what i do most other than school work. i think it's a shame i can't find another thing substitute this, something more, well, more "productive", hoho.

3. Someone told me, Americans only like to hear good and positive thing, they don't like to hear negative stuff. I think most people would like to hear happy things. However, who could i talk to, about bad, sad, and dead things? Could I tell anybody when I feeling sad? Nay, why make another people sad, or if they weren't sad, however, they laugh at your face, that would be sad, from my point of view. Then I will just say good things, because i don't want people to be sad or laugh at me.

4.
I pray for the moment,
a chance to meet you.
For this,
I prayed and prayed
for five hundred years,
i got a promise from God.

for which God transform me
into a tree
grow tall by the road
which you must pass by,
i will blossom with flowers,
each one was each prayer
i made from the past.

when you closed by, please
listen carefully,
the shattering of the leaves is
the excitement from shaken heart
of mine.
but when you goes on without
notice
oh! my friends,
what fell behind
is not flowers
but broken pieces of my heart.

5. I asked a friends on the same floor about Jazz. I want to try some because I heard some good ones in the Restaurant. He said he got an CD. I borrowed from and listened the music. However, it's kind different from what i think Jazz is, because it is different from the ones I heard from the restaurant. I never know Jazz has this many kind forms.

6. Holly Moly, there's flood in my basement! it's half foot tall! it's because of weather's fault! and for this our family use old fashion way! pan the water out! The water's so cold! what could i do?! I hate house now and i am so eager to see the dorm, there's heat and hot bath rooms!

7. Man, what a spring break! My basement was flooded and my mom were worried, my uncle come over to help, my sis cut school to help, and i had to work with them in that flooded basement! Give me a break! However, I heard there're some families worse than us. Some got four feet -high flood in their basement, and there's even one that the flood is over the ceiling! god bless them. And i have to keep working in the humid and wet basement.

8. The best thing to be back at Andover, is that i could find time and place and friends to play basketball. I always got time in Amherst, but I don't really know many people around here. It became sometimes really boring in Amherst when you have no one to play with. That's the reason I spent lots of time on Computer!

9. My aunt is coming to Andover on Saturday. We are going to pick her up. It's been long since we saw her last time. My aunt is the oldest and she came to America 2 years ago from China. She's the oldest in my mom's family. It's strange, for they, my mom's families can't be together in China or Taiwan, however, they could be together in USA!

10. Dream is so important! one without dream lost a sense of direction. But dream is not the only thing that guides people's life. Friends, society and family are all in account. so much one has to consider. But which should the priority? In movie "men of Honor", the main character put his dream as priority, and he got what he deserves. It is hard to say. ---all this nagging is make myself strong* when I saw my Lab report. Sad~

11. As an college student, I found there's less time to read English! Because I had no time or not a lot of time to find books, and it is hard to put my mind in reading. It's like kind lost a peace of mind! I really wonder is it worthy? Maybe it's just me, i hope. It is really discouraging, for in college is to pursuit knowledge and practice it, hit now* I can't get something i'm comfort with it!

12. I got back from Spring Break! I need to work now, because I only finish one Lab Report over the sprork*. I should be shamed. Well, what could i say. I feel like I am too too lonely here, so I went to find lots of friends. Forget all these now, I have to work on the research paper, Lab report, and 3 exams! Sometimes I really amazed how could i do all this within only few days.

13. Disney land is a place i been to before, but the one i'd been too was in Japan. I haven't gone to the one in USA. One of my friends called, asking me do i want to go to Florida with him and his families at the beginning of the summer. I will gladly go, i told him. I am so happy now, haha, I could go to Florida and go to universal Studio and disney land. My sister is jealous!

14. it really surprised me that Tom Hanks didn't get best actor in Oscar award! Although Russell Crowe is really good at "Gladiator". However, for acting's sake, Tom Hanks in Cast Away should get this award. For in over half time of the movie "Cast Away", Tom Hanks performs alone, there' no other people during that time, not even an animal, well there's fish. I can't believe Tom Hanks performance could not get the award. I wonder what's the standard to they we* to choose best actor?!

15. Today I watched three straight basketball games. Those games are really exciting because i like basketball. I watched games, not just physical competition but also the emotions that involved in the game. I think it is what determine the lost and winning in the games, not just skills, because most of pro-basketball athletes are so good. That's means who can use emotions successfully will win the game.

16. I hate spring break! why do we have sprink* before two important exams. I really did not get enough time to enjoy, but i really have time to hate myself. i did not do really well in two exams, and i was failed on engineering course. Why am I here whining?! woo~ I can't control myself. I really hate to fail!

17. I went to skate (ice skate) on Friday nite. I accidentally met two graduate students from Taiwan, and I heard from those two students that there's a Taiwanese student club. I am so happy, and i give them my email address. It seems that they are happy too, to have new member to join the club. I am really too boring at Umass, I really look forward to get contact with the club.

18. I decided to go to library. for weeks i had already gone to there many many times, to study, to search books, and to be alone. But i did n't go there since 3 weeks from now. for i can't gather myself in one piece, so unorganized, mentally. But now i decide to go there and find something for myself. wish me good luck.

19. I am thinking, thinking about a girl from japan. I met her my first year from Taiwan. She looks ok, not that surprisingly pretty. From my ESL teacher, i know she did n't really fit in for her first year. But when I first year i saw her, she's already have a smile on her face. i like her, maybe not boy-girl's like, but i like her. it is so soft, so dim a feeling. I wish she's happy in Japan.

20. My friends invite me to go to disney land with his family. "i am glad to!!" i told him. wow, haha, I am going to disney land at age 20?! it's been 5 years, i haven't been to many places since the first summer. my mom so glad that i am going.

21. I am feeling dead inside right now, no life inside of me. i don't know where to go, what to do, how to do. I can't think, can't talk, and cand* can't move physically, mentally. i am dead, not alive. Just a walking corpse, like Zombie. i didn't ran after my goal, but chasing myself around. the life isn't around me, but running after me. It's tiresome, and it is not worth it.

22. tonight i didn't sleep. I was singing all nite because my roommate was up all nite typing his papers. I am not a perse* who fall into sleep easily. But now in Umass I have to sleep with desk lamp on and typing noise from my roommate, i really hate it. but I didn't say anything. For sometimes it seems he really needs to stay up. But sometimes he just stay late. so tonight, hey, I am going to stay up and sing, he was not going to sleep anyway.

23. I am playing basketball at 1.00 am. Somebody came over and ask me if i was drunk. He must be out of his mind. Because H was playing ball too. somebody just like to talk trash. why a person playing b-ball at 1.00 am have to be drunk? Is this American culture? Too bad if it is.

24. I went to Engineer student affair office tonight because I forgot to call in for pre register the course. They told me I don't have a chance to get register now. but I could come back next semester and register then. I say to myself, "can't let my mom know, she's going to worry about." It is a sing of lost, without direction.

25. I saw the results of my chem test. i am happy about it, I got 92. But I didn't study as hard as i could like the first test. I felt a little bit shame for myself. I hope i could make a better effort next time. the other test is just fine with me, which is physics, the result is surprisingly good, to me.

i left mistake and typo in. to keep it authentic as possible. this was my first year in college. everything turned out alright. the average i remembered from this year was 3.00. nor great, but okay.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

a job lasted more than a month (二)

second week past. a big thing happened. i think it's the day after my outbreak, or actually it's the day when my outbreak took place. Sarah called in for doc. she seemed to expect doc being angry at her. she needed to take a day off. and the next day as well. that week she came in twice. i was unofficially taking over most of receptionist's job. i said unofficially, because i felt i was undertrained. there were still a lot of stuff that i did not know. doc was not a great trainer but even a worse direction giver. additionally, it's extremely unfortunate that he met me, who had difficulty communicating normally.

initially, Sarah called in for sick day. doc told her to come in so he could "adjust" her. "adjust" is a term, chiropracist used for their terminology. then it hit me. i suddenly understood what chiropractic really was about. initially, i was thinking it's some kind of massage focusing on spines. but now i see that chiropractist actually think that they could cure disease far more than just joint problems. i was in disbelieve. yes, some would think that i should feel at home with this. because my dad was a traditional chinese Doctor. however, to be a real Doctor, you need to have other ways determining what disease patient is having. the way i saw how chiropractist determining their patient's disease, they are still just masseuse on spines with a guess list. but enough of this critic. so Sarah came in that afternoon for "adjusting". then she left. doc had me putting her down for next few days as patient. she called next monday morning, saying that she went to hospital and need to talk to doc. i put doc on the phone, and doc was yelling at her with anger. it felt like he thought she betrayed him for going to hospital. he asked what you mean you have stomach problem... the next day, Sarah called again, this time, i gave doc the phone in his office. they were talking loud then quiet down a bit. doc even stepped outside through backdoor. i seemed to remember doc called somebody after that. i finally got message that Sarah was actually pregnant. on a note, this made chiropractist calling themselves doctor a joke to me. the news came from my mom, who got her share of news from linda, who was a personal friend of Sarah. my mom told me not to mention it. doc was very upset over it. and i was confirmed that i will took over most of the front desk job. i always hoped Sarah would be back in a few days. i liked Sarah, she's much more able to give direction and easier to be with in general.

if i remembered correctly, on the same day as my outbreak, doc asked me to post a job on craigslist. i was happy to oblige. it felt like a relieve. so although Sarah was not there, and doc was a not easy to work with. i felt quite relieved knowing that i would be off the jobin two weeks. then on the wednesday of my third week, i finally gathered enough courage to remind doc that my first week had passed as for my two week notice. doc was all smiling, spoke softly to me that he thought we were cool after the talk in room, and i already dropped the idea of leaving. he told me to think it over again, and asked me was it really that bad working here? i was immediately put into dismay. but a young girl appeared the next day. a white, pale, skinny young girl. she was put immediately to work. we chatted a little bit, she was a greek came to usa just 11 months ago. she lived quite close to here. unfortunately for her, it's a mess that day...

the new girl's name was Maria. after a few chat, i found out that doc was doing a promotion at a gym just across the street. then doc asked me to call Sarah about all the equipment setup. Sarah directed me how to connect TV, Computer, and some kind of Thermal imaging machine. she said doc must be very upset that she could not made it that day. le sigh. but it showed how doc would conduct himself in this situation. he wanted things done. so he tried hard to keep contained. after we were done at the clinic that day at around 6:30. we then proceed to the gym. i had no clue what to expect, and that poor Maria, first day on the job, she just followed us. we went to the gym, i tried hard to figure out all the setup. but there was always something missing. i even needed to drive doc's nissan suv back to clinics to get a printer cable. but eventually, through trial and error and a few calls to Sarah, we setup the equipment and then we started to work. how did it work? you stand there as doc's crew, doc will ask those gym goers if they want to try an imaging test for free. if they tried and interested, Maria will then proceed to make an appointment with them. of course, it was a series of discount appointments for only $35. i tried operating the computer, and doc stand there using the thermal imaging system on people. and showing them results on the big flat TV screen. we stayed there until about 9, i think. funny thing that night was when i picked up the printer cable in the clinic, i got a call from police. Maria forgot to call home about this promotion. her mother in law called the office when no one answered, then she called police. i answered the phone and told them what happened. i thought it was okay now. i told Maria when i got back to the gym. then, Maria's mother in law called the gym, eventually had police came down looking for her in the gym! Doc was clearly annoyed by it...

i got home that night, not happy. not just because that i was unable to walk out of the job, but because also that no one told me about today's promotion before. Not sarah, nor doc. it's ridiculous. i got home almost 10, my mom told me she got doc's cell phone number and called doc. doc said i was on the way home. she though it's weird how come we needed to work this late.

this promotion made me think. the differences between business models of modern world and the old ones. my dad had an old ones, the only commercial that he had was word of mouth. he never needed to do this kind of promotion activiy. doc on the other hand also relied heavily on word of mouth, but he operated like a real "business". it's weird to felt like a "modern business" while really using your skills to cure people... i felt conflicted. ;[

Monday, June 21, 2010

a job lasted more than a month (一)

i quit a job a month ago. it's a job that lasted more than a month. a rare thing indeed. it's a chiropractic operation. it was introduced by linda, my mom's friend, a jehovah witness as well. she is doing cleaning for the clinic for a few years now. she knew the chiropractist personally. and it seemed that he needed a receptionist recently. i needed a job. so she introduced me to him.

before i went to the interview. i checked his website as linda told me. it was a well setup website. but the impression i got from it was that the doctor was flamboyant, a bit narcissistic too. because it's just a chiropractic clinic, the website was too formal, it took itself too seriously. i was a bit alarmed. however, i needed to work. i would do anything. the interview was okay. but when i set my foot in the clinic the first time, my gosh, it was like walking into an infant toy store. it's not like a chiropractic clinic at all. kind funny thinking about it now. i was the same as before, nervous and stuttering during the interview. linda called my mom a day after the interview, doc thought my english was not good, but he was willing to work with me. so i got the job.

the doc was big and bulky with a mustache. he has a polish last name, botzioch. the job started at the last week of march. i can't quite remember what's the first day looked like. i just remembered that i started around noon. i was alone with him in the clinics. he went through some basic stuff with me. and i remembered that he taught me how to answer the phone, and he's very particular about it. i have to say "hi, it's a fantastic day at atlantic chiropractic, it's jack, may i help you?" then his real receptionist, sarah, came in between 1: 30 and 2. i did some filing for her. then i went home that day quite early. i probably thinking, it's okay. although my chest was bubbling the whole time. i am not sure now if it's because it's interaction with strangers, or the confine of the small clinic, or maybe something else. the boss was okay, in my reasoning, to demand me to talk on the phone in certain way. although i just didn't understand, why i could not change the greetings...

something made me unease from the day one on the job. i mentioned it to my mom. but both me and my mom shrugged off thinking that must be because i just started a new job. then there came the outbreak of a rage from me. i thought it must second week in the job. or maybe it's the first week. i really could not pinpoint the time right now. it was a tuesday though. i went to the job in the morning. it would not be opened until afternoon. doc gave me a job to write the board , which he apparently kept outside with some encouraging or inspiring words for people passing by. i did it once last week. so yes, it's my second week. he gave me a new sentence, and told me to write it. then he told me that he's gonna step out and will be back later. i first cleaned the board with much effort, because doc liked to use a pen that would take some effort to rinse off. then i kept deciding how was i going to approach it. apparently, i could not decide at all! then doc called, i apparently did not greet with what he had wished for, then after he heard that i had not finished writing the board, he was annoyed. then i probably answered his urgent hurry up with "yeah, yeah". when he came back, he put me in a room. then he lashed out, "i went out for 3 hours, and you could not even finish writing the board? what were you doing? and what you think of me? you buddy? yeah, yeah...? what's that? i am not your buddy! i am your boss! and how come you did not answer the phone with the line i gave you? you really should write them down! don't you need the job? isn't it necessary to you? ...." i started stuttering, sweating, and scared half to death... after that i quickly finished the board.

but after i went home. i could not contain myself at all. on my defense, the reason i could not finished the board was because i have a hard time making any decision. i kept trying new things, new style to fit the board for 3 hours. i felt that i don't know what he really wanted. but apparently, he just want the job done and writing recognizable. yeah, now, i know... then yes, it's a very easy task. it shall not take more than an hour. i can understand the blame, but i am still disgusted over it. i hate people doubt my integrity for working hard or not. of course, we just started working together. but i could not let the whole thing go. the yeah yeah thingy, was just the way i used to respond to almost anything. and the greeting. the damned greeting. although i had to admit, it's my own fault. i did not understand what a receptionist entailed at the time. but the most annoying of all was that he said that i need this job?! i wondered what did linda tell doc about me and my situation. i was very tense in the clinic, it made me very uncomfortable. i did not understand why. but this idea of i needed to be there, the saying was like doc was my salvation for my situation was huge spur for me. not in a good positive way... i hated the saying, absolutely hated. the whole feeling of confined, restrained, and oppressed in the clinic space was then exploded in my chest. the next day, wednesday was the first day that i had to be at clinic at 6 in the morning. i told my mom that i was going to quit. i stormed out of my house that morning about 5.50. i got there about 6.20. i went there screaming at the doc i wanted my money and i quit. it seemed that doc was very slow to react, he just said it's okay to quit, but i need to give him time to find some other people. i really did not care, i yelled at him for pay check. he then got angry too, thinking that i assumed him being an asshole not paying what i deserved. he went back to write up the check. i still could not contain myself, i slammed my bag on the chair and started shaking like a leaf in storms. he came out to the front with a check. he directed me to a room and ask me what's wrong? and i started blurred out all the reasoning i just mentioned above. then with reasoning and feedback from his part, i calmed down. i agreed to stay on for the job. i took the paycheck. i thought we agreed for my two weeks notice, or until he found some other people.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

笑話

看看"說新語", 提神醒腦 !

@ 腦殘的定義:

Your brain has two parts: the left & the right.

Your left brain has nothing right, and your right brain has nothing left.

@如今,幾乎只剩下當老闆一種職業不需要大學文憑了.

@上海張江地鐵站某臭豆腐攤的廣告語:Smell Smelly, Taste Tasty! 人才啊。

@中華民族是個有智慧的民族,比如為了解決交通擁擠的問題,就發明了錯峰上下班的方法.再比如為了解決房價高的問題,就發明 了錯峰買房的方法,具體來說就是:有 的人這輩子買,有的人下輩子買。

@中國式經濟學:GDP = 搞地皮 Gao Di Pi

@小明送給女友一件禮物,女友接過來,看了一眼說:破滴。小明大驚:新的啊怎麼會是破的。女友說:你看啊,上面拼音寫著:podi。小明:-_-你 拿倒了。

@《十月圍城》的精神可以概括為五個字:讓領導先走.

@昨天問一炒股朋友:最近股市暴跌了,睡眠怎樣?他說:像嬰兒般睡眠。我說:不愧是高手!這都能睡得著!他沉默半餉道:半夜經常醒來,哭一會再睡.

@君要臣死,臣facebook.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

quote from the count of monte cristo

"...captivity shared is only semi-captivity; sighs united together are almost prayers; prayers coming from two hearts are almost acts of grace."

the count of monte cristo

Tuesday, June 01, 2010

白滷蹄膀

我上個禮拜五傍晚要帶白滷蹄膀去葛幼梅阿姨家. 因為姜治國, 姜志潔的哥哥從哈佛博士班畢業了. 我對材料有一點不確定. 我知道一定有八角桂皮, 其他的我就不記得了. 不確定是否還要加上花椒.

早上, 我把蔥薑米酒八角桂皮鹽放進鍋裡和蹄膀一起煮.
因為我上次第二次煮完兩小時, 蹄膀太軟, 我就決定說, 這一次我只要燒一個小時.
所以當一個小時到了, 我就拿筷子戳一戳.
奇怪, 怎麼還硬硬的.
於是我就用中小火在煮個十五廿分鐘.
時間到了, 我又去戳一戳, 耶?! 還是硬硬的! 只比剛剛軟一點.
但是我想, 不管了. 我可不想又像上次一樣, 太軟了.
我把火停了, 想說讓肉繼續泡一下吧. 希望他會更入味一點.
到了下午, 我把已經涼下來的肉從肉湯裡拿出來切片.
切了切, 吃了一片.
哇! 真難吃! 一點味道都沒有!
切了一盤出來, 再嚐嚐...
完蛋了, 這麼難吃?! 簡直就像清朝皇宮裡每年的祭肉一樣...
那我決定不帶了...


空手到舅舅家撘便車, 他們說, 你的肉哩?
做壞了.
舅媽坐到車上說, 唉, 還有能做壞的菜?
沒辦法, 真的做壞了...
嗯... 得找出原因啊...
真得跑一趟世界書局, 去找找看那個食譜...
為啥我第一次燒的時候那麼好,
第二次就差了,
這一次是全部槓龜...
咯.........兒 >_<

星期日去了一趟世界書局...
找到了那本食譜: 江浙家常菜.
翻開鹽水蹄子,
沒錯啊...
他也是蔥薑八角桂皮鹽, 他要黃酒.
但是我第一次做的時候也是米酒.
關鍵不在酒.
他說要煮到爛...


回去, 那切下來的肉已經被我做成回鍋肉了.
想啊想...
我最後知道了!
我煮的時候沒有聞到桂皮和八角的味道!
煮這些東西要聞到味道才算入味了!
要入味, 湯滾轉小, 味道飄出來才算數!
以後, 不看時間了, 用鼻子比較對...