I quit, 2

On 1/17/2018, I quit my job at Mascon.  I am, and so are the people around me, still experiencing heavy fallout after a week.  The sub-sequence and after thought of that day will be described as follows:

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The day I went back, my mom was surprised to see me.  I told her what happened.  She immediately showed a lot of support.  Her only gripe was that I exploded.  Because of my action in rage, even if I had any right by my side, it was all lost during the process.  Many people from office left messages asking what happened.  My uncle and aunt took me to ninety nine for dinner.  The most bummed, was probably Mae.  She was in the process of leaving.  And I worked with her from the beginning when we were both temps.  Grace called a day later, she told Mae on Wednesday, "need to wait for Jack to calm down."  Then Sofiya said, we should meet.   I met her that Friday at 330pm.  Sofiya is Sofiya, her spirit did raise me to a better place.  All these supports really helped me out a lot!  Even CJ texted me from Taiwan, (she is on a Company business trip).  
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But to me, this is a very heavy loss.  I can see the heavy toll on my mom as well.  And I am debating what to do next, school, job, or a necessary trip to Taiwan?  And although I anticipated that I cannot get back to the company, but when I went and pick my stuff up on Wednesday(1/25/2018, a week later), the treatment was not easy to endure.  And the fact that Vic and Anne doesn't seem to want to meet really let me down as well.  I talked to Jo on Wednesday(1/25/2018), Vic on Thursday(1/29/2018, giving me my computer on Target's parking lot).  Every time I talked to them, I felt very heavy.  I kept guessing what's that mean?  Is that friendly or they were just saying things so I wont bother them no more?  Mae was the only one that kept talking to me, through line or text.  

It's kind surreal when I went back on Wednesday.  I know I was not supposed to be there.  I thought I just need to get 2 more things and also need to talk to Jo about my computer, then I will leave.  Besides warehouse and Jo, nobody would know I came.  I parked my car at back entrance.  But when I stepped in warehouse, Vic was not there.  Jose was there, in front of the computer, head bent down to look at his phone.  He was surprised to see me.  But he tactfully asked if John knew I was here.  Then he said he would not tell on me.  I found two toys of mine and stepped out to put them in my car.  When I came back, Jose disappeared.  I immediately guessed he went to get some people.  But to me, it's alright, I went to find Jo.  But in mid way, I turned back, I was afraid other people would see me.  When I get back to the 1st bay door, I heard Jose, Lawrence, and George talking among themselves.  They could not find me, George did peeked out the door and said my car was still there.  The whole process was so surreal.  I almost giggled.  Jose is a survivor.  Lawrence is Lawrence.  But George?!  Really?   Although I understand his position, still could not contain a slight disappointment.  At first I was thinking to play hide and seek with them but decided not to.  I showed up and told them my purpose.  Then I told them I still want to meet Vic, so I will wait in the car.  After I stepped in the car,I saw Jo came out of the back and told me that John specifically announced me unwelcomed in the premises of the Company.  So I left.  

All these times, people asked what happened.  Even when Jo saw me, she asked too.  What's the reason I would go off like that.  On the day I quit, on the way home, the only thing happened in my mind was the rage.  My mother was one of the earliest victim of this rage.  So was my sister.  I kept going over and over in the scenario.  I kept telling people, it's because of Jose's poor workmanship sparked this rage.  I also kept telling people, Lawrence was the one who fueled my rage to the point to quitting.  I even told Jo, I was disappointed in Vic's supervising, because Vic should already corrected Jose about some slacking off.  But as I was showering at YMCA today(1/26/2018), something lighted up.  For all these three years in the warehouse, I kept telling myself, how much tolerance Anne and Vic showed me.  They are examples of tolerance throughout the years.  Even with three years of experience, I still made a ridiculous shipping mistake at the end of last year.  Only to be covered by Anne. Maybe Jose was slacking off, maybe Lawrence wasn't supposed to say those words.  But upon seeing the boxes on the ground on that day, what was reason for such a rage?  I am really tired of the job, it's true.  But to put these whole thing on other people's shoulder would be a bigger mistake.  I am the spark of the whole scenario.  I have to bear the responsibility for the fallout.  And I need to deal with this rage!