Wednesday, March 25, 2009

棒子一樣的粗

今天早上在切肉絲. 每次在切肉絲的時候, 就一定會想到媽媽提到外婆的事. 我有時候會在媽媽做菜的時候看. 他通常都會講一些小時候的事給我聽. 譬如說, 在廚房裡作菜的時候, 外婆做上手, 他就做下手. 他有時也是要切肉絲, 肉片. 因為他說他們小時候是不吃大塊肉的. 他切的肉絲有時候切的不夠精細. 外婆就說, 怎麼這個肉絲切的像棒子一樣粗. 媽媽每次提到這一件事的時候總是用蘇州話, "膀珠". 媽媽平常是不用蘇州話的. 但是只要是提到小時候事情, 往往蘇州話就不經意的流出來. 所以每次切肉, 我一定試著想要切細一點. 不過每次切的時候, 左看右看, 還是很 "膀珠".

記下話來, 作為紀念.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

let the right one in

i watched a movie two days ago. it's called, let the right on in, from sweden. it's one of the best vampire movie i've ever seen. vampire movies are many, but few are really watchable.

when i really liked a movie, i always have a feeling of hard to get out of the movie. i mean, while a movie i love lured me into its story, its world, i have hard time to come out of that world. there are strong feelings lingering in my heart. and it's a terrible experience. it's a very contradicting sensation, on the one hand, i want to get out that place; but on the other hand, i don't want to let it go.

i am in that situation right now... i don't want to let it go, at the same time, i want to get on with my daily routines... something heart wrenching was provoked inside of me by that movie. and somehow, i don't want to let that heart wrenching feeling go. if there's anything that i consistently have in my mind, was the imaging of pulling my heart out of my chest. the reason i mention this, i don't know. maybe one day, i will dare to say what i don't know.

Monday, March 16, 2009

中國抗戰史的研究, 費正清說

"During eight years of war, a major part of the Chinese people were in Japanese-occupied territory, mainly the coastal cities and railway towns. Another major segment were in the GMD-controlled area, called Free China. The smallest division of China was the CCP area, with its capital at Yan'an. Historians are genetic-minded, looking for origins, and China's future came out of Yan'an. Accordingly, the defeat of the Japanese and of the Nationalists has been less researched than the rise of the CCP. Success is creative and interesting; failure is sad and dull. Who wants it? Moreover, Yan'an being smaller, in size and documentation, is easier to encompass than the vastly variegated experience of occupied China and Free China. These two areas, though larger than the area under Yan'an, have been less studied."

節錄自 --china's war of resistance-- 大字第二版 費正清著, 第十六章1937-1945, 312 頁.

Friday, March 13, 2009

全軍破敵論壇上的一篇我寫的文章

我也非常喜歡一寸山河一寸血, 但是我覺得裡面終究有很多問題. 就拿史迪威來說好了, 我就有看過一個論壇上說, 拿史迪威的日記和杜聿銘寫的中國遠征軍回憶錄要正確... (http://taiwantp.net/cgi/TWforum. ... w_post&post=367) 史迪威會說中文, 他在馬歇爾手下待在中國至少六七年以上. 他會說中文. 他在中國的時候, 就很喜歡共產黨. 就租借法案而言, 中國拿到的東西那麼少, 怕也不能全怪他... 我今天才在圖書館看了蒙巴頓將軍傳記, 裡面提到了英國也用了不少租借法案的東西... 連搬運租借法案的飛機都搶走了. 也就是說, 經過印度的物資, 英國少不得要慨油... 而事實上, 史迪威不止是蔣中正的參謀長, 他還是蒙巴頓將軍的參謀長... 史迪威在他的日記裡也經常抱怨說, 英國根本就不想作戰...

蔣始終都認為要在緬甸開戰, 英美必須要能在 bengal bay (我忘記中文是啥了...) 和緬甸上空完全掌握, 並且, 美國至少要三個陸戰隊, 還有英國的軍隊同時加入緬戰場, 他才願意開部隊入緬甸作戰. 而史呢, 他的看法是滇緬公路需要奪回來, 支援作戰的物資才能夠充足的進入中國. 事實上, 當時英美基本上不能達到海空的掌握權, 所以蔣斷然拒絕緬甸的作戰計畫. 蔣希望可以用陳納德的計畫. 陳納德是希望用近半租借法案物資來發動他的十四航空大隊取得中國上空的控制權. 然 後配合中國軍隊, 希望用空軍騷擾日本陸軍的補給線來幫助中國陸軍, 在中國本土和日軍開戰. 陳納德的計畫, 實際上還包含了整個東南亞和中國南海.

史迪威認為中國的軍隊訓練不夠, 軍官, 尤其是高級軍官顢頇貪污, 是不可能抵擋的了日本陸軍的. 他認為到時候, 陳納德惹的日本火大了, 日本就會試圖把陳納德的很多飛機場給拿下來. 史迪威總是認為, 在中國軍隊的素質很好, 但是要在強將的帶領下才能發揮... 基本上, 他認為中國沒啥強將, 國民革命軍裡, 只有一兩個, 其他的中國強將要在共產黨裡找了, 譬如說, 朱德. 我現在是覺得租借物資的來龍去脈具有舉足輕重的影響... 因為, 以上, 是我看到所有資料裡都一樣的地方, 包括一些回憶錄, 還有傳記... 但是之後就因為租借物資的分配, 產生了各方面互相指責.

美國相信史迪威一派的(現在美國史學界的主流)認為, 國民政府根本不願意和日本人打仗. 所有在雲南由史迪威分給國民政府的租借物資通通被國民政府不是貪掉了, 就是囤積起來準備和中國共產黨在未來做內戰的打算. 美國另有一派(在我看是非主流, 屬於陳納德十四航空隊一方還有魏德邁等, 堅決反共者))和國民政府官方的批平蠻類似的. 就像一寸山河一寸血上提到的, 蔣中正對於第一次的緬甸遠征軍那麼失敗是痛心疾首. 對於史迪威一再要求反攻緬甸是堅決反對, 對於史迪威用租借法案威脅蔣一定得支持緬甸之戰, 那是厭惡之級. 這一群人認為史迪威那麼想進攻緬甸完全是面子問題.

史迪威那麼看重的滇緬公路, 他估計每個月可以輸入物資六萬噸. 但是實際上, 直到二戰結束, 滇緬公路每個月的輸入物資不超過一萬噸. 而在那時, 空運到中國物資已經達到七萬噸一個月...我個人現在也是不怎麼喜歡史迪威. 但是, 說一具老實話, 我很希望知道國民政府數據資料有多少可信度... 因為就像我前面說的, 租借物資的來龍去脈具有舉足輕重的影響... 如果我們資料沒有他那一派所提供的準確, 那就提供別人 "討論" 的空間...

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

白油烘蛋

這個名字是我在食譜上看到的. 但我第一次吃到的時候, 只知道他叫蛋餅. 這是小的時候, 有一天晚上肚子餓了, 爸爸煎給我和小瑋吃的. 第一次吃到可真的是很香! 現在依然是很香. 不過那時看爸爸弄食物吃, 廚房裡只開著抽油煙機的小燈, 我在他背後聞到蛋香, 這情景很令人回味!

這是非常簡單的食物. 只要一個蛋, 一點點鹽, 一小匙麵粉就可以了. 不過通常我都是要兩個蛋. 麵粉不要多, 不然就減少蛋的味道. 所有東西在碗裡攪拌後, 中火熱油, 下鍋煎. 兩面翻翻. 就好了! 全部過程不到十分鐘. 如果你喜歡, 也可以加一點蔥花啥的...

有趣的是, 外國人喜歡吃的 pancake, 也是類似的做法. 但是要加上牛油, 很多麵粉, 牛奶, 還有一些 小蘇打之類的東西. 比較起來, 爸爸的蛋餅味道簡單的多. 我喜歡簡單的味道. 不過, 再加上那個回憶, 或許這味道也不是那樣的單純了.

soup

my mom loves soup. to prepare for soup, my mom prepared broth almost daily. after experiencing the miracle of soup, i have to agree with her. soup was fantastic.

when she comes home at night, especially in the winter, she said that a hot soup was great for anyone just came in from the cold. i totally agree with her. a broth is the bases of all soup! so it's important to prepare it. once the soup was simmered slowly for 2 hours, or more, it's concentrated enough to use it portion by portion. and it can be used throughout whole week! very convenient. of course, you can buy can broth, but you can't guarantee what was used to cook the can broth.

my mom loved to use pork bones without or with very little meat for the broth. it's important to add some ginger and scallion, sometimes, garlic. adding a bit of rice alcohol would be even better as well. when simmering broth for concentrated form, the broth should looks like white, not clear broth. however, it should not confuse with dirty broth with blood-esque stuff... there are two ways to deal with the blood-esque thing.

1. put bones in a cold water pan, bring them to boil for few minutes. you have to put bones in while the water is still cold. then pouring out the blood-esque thing with boiled water and bones. after that, you can start to cook the broth with worrying.

2. you can directly proceed to cook the broth. however, before simmering, you need to constantly getting rid of the blood-esque thing, until the water is clear. then start to simmer.

soup is good. broth is an essential ingredient. it's awesome.

Thursday, March 05, 2009

two pillars of action games

an action adventure game always comes down to two things. one is fighting, doesn't matter it's gun, cold weapon, or empty handed. the other one is traveling from one area to another. other factors, such as story, puzzles, levels, voice acting, etc, should be included in level designs. if we looked at many other action games. we could do a detailed analysis of each own short comings in either or both areas of fighting and platformers:

1. Oni, it's a great hand to hand fighting games. the developers got inspiration from street fighters. there's no hard lock system, only a very cleverly designed soft lock system. the character can move smoothly through space, had amazing acrobatic ability. however, the platformer gameplay was not incorporated well at all. let's just say, it's randomly designed at best. most of the acrobatic ability was wasted in Oni, imo. in a fight, it would be fun to use acrobatics. however, it's not necessary most of the game. and the lack of the interactivity with the environment was frustrating, and a huge source of my complain about the wasted acrobatics in the game.

2. Blade of Darkness Severance. this game should be hailed as one of the best 3rd person action adventure melee game. the weapon based fighting though flawed, was and still is the best in any games, PC or console unmatched. the game had a hard lock system. but when not using hard system, there's no soft lock system to support the battle. although some claimed it worked better without the hard locks, i could not disagree more. one of the reason was that there's no strafes in the game. navigation without strafes through spaces was ok enough, not the case in fighting though. the platformer ability was kept at minimum in this game. besides few jumps and hanging on to ledges, there's nothing much. this is not much a hindrance to the whole experience though. since the fighting is heavy enough to carry the weight. however, if there's strafes and better designed platformer ability plus a plable level design. this game would be more appealing.

3. Bushido Blades series. this series was a real fighting games with one very special emphasize, which is it's a more fight simulation than an arcadish fighting games. there's no meters, there's only one realistic damage model. one well placed, or timed blow will instantly killed the opponent, or be killed. there are not many fancy combos. the fights usually slows and dull compared with other flashy arcadish fighting games. however, that's where the appeal lies, realitic fighting. as any fighting game, it's viewed from side, not like the ones mentioned before in which the camera was placed from behind a character. the frustrating part of the game was that the defense for the game was automated. so if you can't find a way to break down the defense, the game will be like constantly banging your head against your fryign pane. other frustation of the game was that it's not a action adventure game. i kept wondering what would happen if the camera of the game put behind the characters. the distance of the game character might become hard to perceive. the third frustration of the game that it's not very popular. the platformer ability was very awkward, although implemented. but it's quite adequate for a fighting game with limited stage space to explore.

4. Lugaru. i only have the demo of the game. It's an indie game. there's no lock on system whatsoever. what's very interesting about this game is one gameplay mechanics. It's called "Reflection". the game is basically, attack, defense, and reflection. attack and defense is self explanatory. reflection however, add a genuine new game experience! a well timed reflection will keep the opponent off the balance and throw him afar. if you are "reflected", you also have the ability to stay on your feet, if you timed the reflection well enough. which adds a new dynamics to the game. although it' nothing new, soul calibur already had something like it. it was not found in any other action adventure games. the platformer part of the game was interesting enough. although not very smooth in my opinion.

5. prince of persia sands of time series. This is truly a platformer series. this game incorprated platformer and fighting together. although the fight was not realistic in anyway, and i don't think it would fair well with online competition either. the infusion of platformer and fight however, was something i wish to created for Oni. one of the frustration of the PoP SoT series was it's camera and control for PC. most part of the game was alright, but in some spots was just down right frustrating.

6. Rune. This game was often compared with BoDS. It is much more popular than BoDS as well. there used to be a huge online competition enthusastic crowd. there's no soft or hard lock on system. from my experience, the fighting mechanics was really sad. there seemed to have some combos. but not enough for me to really get into it, except if i want to play online. the differences between Rune and BoDS, is that BoDS is really a fighting game, with detailed fighting mechanics. however, Rune does not. the platformer ability was poor. however, simple running around was more like Oni than BoDS.

7. god of war, devil may cry, ninja gaiden. ninja gaiden was in my opinion worth of mentioning though since it incorporated the platformer and fighting together better. navigation with it's platform ability was ok. not the best, because it's way too fancy even for a console analogue control.

8. Mount and Blade. this game is one that inspires me the most. its weapon fighting and mounted fighting was one reason. it's simple and fun. i loved its defense concept. i wish i could find a way to implemented such mechanic in my dream action adventure game in some ways. however, there's not much platformer ability. but with its design, this ability could be ignored somehow. and since it's a action RPG, this inability was forgivable anyway.

9. assassin's creed. i played the Xbox 360 verions, not the PC version. i am pretty sure that platformer on this game with M/K control would be alright. but i am not sure of the fighting mechanics. however, this game's fighting mechanics probably is not worth mentioning much. way too simple, not much initiation given to players. however, the platformer ability of the game was huge and grandeous. need to find a way to somehow infused within my game! HAHA

games i wish to make

i wish to make a video game. it's an action adventure game. the main gameplays are melee fighting and platformer. it's a PC game. the setting should be in around 1000 A.C., in China. the features in the game should be a realistic fighting mechanics in weapon and hand to hand. the fighting should find a way to infuse with platformer. the platformer should find a way to become a competitive racing game for online plays. the idea was inspired by Mount and Blade, where the gameplay of riding horses and melee combats were the selling points. what's more inspiring though is the players made mods. the idea of a racing platformer was inspired by mirror's edge and super mario bro. the fighting mechanics was inspired by bushido blade series, Oni, Blade of Darkness Severance, and lugaru.

i want to see a game with a very realistic but highly adjustable combat system. this system should be very suitable for online competitive. however, because it is highly adjustable, the modes of online play will have many. some like arcadish fighter like tekken, virtual fighter, or soul calibur. some loved bushido blades series and BOD severance with a more realistic approach, best with much improved bushido's damage model and one shot kill. and there're weapon based fight, or no weapon, like Oni. the weapon and empty handed should be able to mix as well! basically, the fighting is the one of the two core gameplays! and should be the primary concern, because, i consdier this to be the most diffifult develope.

the platformer should be combined with mirror's edge, with something like those funny snowskating racing games, where you could find a way to punch, kick, or whatever way to slow down your opponents. But also, the basic platformer gameplay have to be able to stand for a real racing without those interference. the platformer is also best incorporrated with fighting mechanics. some of fighting mode should also consider to involve platformer as well.

as for the single player game. i think, one of the best thing for a developer to interact with players is mods. release the tool, even designate a team to support those who wants to make mod but with little programming experiences. what should developers encourage player to mod the game is to create new scenarios within game's fighting and platformer gameplays. over the course, developers could be freed from doing level designs, or minimal level designs. this free the developers to concentrate on creating new gameplays, improved the old gameplays, and find a way expand the existing formula, like by adding a new strategical gameplay mechanics, like Mount and Blade. it should be eventually expanded into a real Total War style battlefield gameplay! give players options to really his characters to become a real king, or he could choose to be a lonely warrior, or a merchants to amass huge property to influence the diplomacy, or something else. the expansion of the new modes, gameplays, and contents should be in expansion packages.

the graphics and sounds should be barely up to the standards. the improvements of G&S over the course of expanding the gameplays, modes, and contents, should be kept at minimum. the reason behind this is because i want the maximum people who could play it.

the online part of the game should eventually be included the Total War style of Battlefield gameplays. the grand cmpaign of the game that should also be in the eventual expansion package should be online as well. this however, should be kept from being total war style, this has to have a whole new style in real time. a co-op mode should be supported for strategy and action adventure as well. i don't like a mmorpg though. so i will try not to touch such thing.

the total war style of battlefield was not the only options the game should go. what should be kept in mind is the options. always remember this, different modes are optional. the two core gameplays are not. fighting and platformer, and the infusion of the two are my main concern here. how to put a game into an incredible experience all depends on these two factors. other good thoughts should be kept for the future references.