Question

 What am I doing in my alone time?  

Movies, 

I used to copy texts from books. 

Yard work. 

Moody

I hate being alone.  I hate nothing to do.  And yet, I am alone a lot, and yet I spend most of my alone time doing only those things listed above.

I sometimes feel my cat was more mature than me.  I feel he would find something to do, like a hunt, or walk around his territory everyday.  And then be content and sit under the sun somewhere hidden.  But I know myself.  I would be nervous and moody while doing nothing or thinking nothing at all.  Just be nervous and moody.  

When I was younger, my mother would find things for me to do.  I remember going to swimming everyday, or going to hiking, or reading books at book store.  She brought me to all these places and showed me what to do.  Mother thought we were weak to begin with so she brought me and my sister to pool everyday.  Otherwise, I would never know how to swim.  She read article of her professor from the university, she brought me and my sister to hiking in the Mt. Elephant.  She herself is an avid reader, she brought us to the book store, and bought us shelves of books.  

But as times went on, my sister started to pick up things to like, music to listen, instrument to learn, food to cook.  My mom can simply sit and watch while my sister lived her life

All these iteration was useless.  Why am I here writing these again and again?  

What is it that I want to do when I am alone?   Just one?