i kept feeling bottled up.
yet, it is increasingly clear that i don't have much to say.
because whenever i am with people, i have no words.
if there was anything i did with people, it is awkward, stupid, or disgusting.
when i am alone, everything loses its meaning.
even the things that was intellectual to me before.
the only thing left was the feeling of hollow.
a never ending bottomless hole.
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