Tuesday, July 28, 2020

Motherless Brooklyn 小說觀後感

這本書我借了又還借了又還前後三次。  這一次終於下定決心看完。  看完後,有點吃驚, 因為他和電影完全不一樣。   

我不知道 Tourette's 真實的情況是怎樣的。  但是,我覺得這本書把這個病症描述的很徹底。  

我其實還是跳著看,所以有的地方看不大清楚。  

最後一百頁讓我感覺比較爽快,因為前面的部分令我感覺迷惑。  似乎看不到一點答案。  最後一百頁的時候,一下子謎團解除,而且,主角逐漸知道方向在哪裡, 也有助於謎團給我的懊惱,或著是說給主角的懊惱。

書本的故事是真正在描述紐約客的觀點,主角甚至一輩子沒有離開過紐約市! 



我覺得這是一本很普通的偵探小說。  美國的偵探小說往往更著重於角色的描述,而這種描述也往往有一種很通俗的寫法。  這種寫法在電影,小說,甚至電腦遊戲裡都有。  Max Payne 就是一個代表。   很大的程度上,這本小說很有這種味道。  我認為小說裡值得一提的是主角的變化。  主角和他的三個夥伴都是孤兒,對於把他們提拔長大的人有著很深感情,但是當這個人死了後,只有主角認真的要找出原因和兇手。  我覺得救世主角的這份感情和執著,讓這本小說出色!  

在這裡也可以稍微談到電影,我覺得在電影裡,我只對主角有認識,但是在書本裡,我把其他人和主角的關係才搞得清楚一點。  這很重要,因為這才增加主角的價值。   在電影裡,我覺得就很難做到這一點,書本裡常常回憶和回到過去,雖說也要好幾個段落,甚至章節才能涵蓋過去。  但是在電影裡,要做的這麼細膩就很困難。  我想這也是為啥電影裡需要一個大壞人做反角,比較容易上電影有張力。  


Sunday, July 19, 2020

kept I for 理由 blog

我寫這個網誌已經很多年了, 竟然已經累積八百多篇。 我自己回頭看一看也很驚訝!

當初,我為什麼要寫這個網誌呢?  原因只有一個,就是這裡沒有人看!  基本上只是想要把這裡當作日記。  這數量遠遠沒有日記的水準。  但是,畢竟也記錄了自己所看到的, 所想的,所聞的,所嚐的。  

我很希望可以更進一步,就是整理自己的的思緒,如果我有任何思緒的話。  幻想未來的可能性。  當我前天情緒極度波動的情況下,我坐在車上想要開向某個方向,卻完全不能想出一個地方,腦袋或許不是空白,卻象煮滾的開水,只有水蒸氣和很大很大的泡泡冒出來。  這令我的懊惱成倍的增加。  

幻想未來的可能性並不是為了空白的滿足精神上的需要, 而是希望能繼而計畫,最後執行。  我很清楚自己的弱點就是, 當一個想法或著希望產生時,我在精神上已感到完美結果的喜悅。  但是這喜悅卻令自己不敢前進!  因為腦袋幻想的完美和手上產生的粗糙,是自己完全不能接受的!  這在我現在不再畫畫很有關係!  但是越不畫,在日月的推遲下就越糟。  現在還在講自我的建立實在是慢了,但是再不講,連一步步的腳印都不可能有了。  我還寫這個網誌幹嘛?!  真要見證自己的慢性自殺嗎?!

試試看哪!  幻想未來,計畫現在,執行計畫。  我連想的勇氣都沒有,其餘不用想了。




Friday, July 17, 2020

一首惠德曼的詩的一段

Walt Witman

I'm not to speak to you, 
I am to think of you.
When I sit alone,
or wake at night alone,
I am to wait, 
I do not doubt 
I am to see you again.  
I am to see to it
that I do not lose you."

Which poem??  (Leaves of Grass)

from Bone season 6 Ep14

Thursday, July 09, 2020

What's in my mind right now - Speed writing without thinking

Blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank...................
What if we just switch channel.  You know, to finish bones series. 
Oh, no, another porno thought.  oh, wait why do you stop
Grrrrrr.....  Stop stop stop, what like that motherless brooklyn novle??   


Tick tick Tick Tick Tick Tick Tick

You do know it just meant blank blank blank blank blank blank blank, right?  

Seely Booth Temperance Bones Angel Sweets Dr. Saroyan...   Can't help it, was watching it...  

Need to deliver to my cousin some grocery.  

Today is really hot, humid.  That indian actress was really cute.  She's young.  That's why.  

Oh, no. 

Nothing, do I want to hide something even from myself?  

Yeah, I was afraid for another horny thought.  But it turned out no.  She's cute.  

Shining, one of those first glance and shine type.  immediately grabbed the eyes.  

What am I thinking?  

Or maybe i should call now?  

I was delivering to Aunt HuYin some food my mom made.  She really kind wanted to talk.  I still want to make a video for Ashby.  I know she's still upset about Ashby.  That devotion, that bond from that young age, that closeness, plus Ashby's uniqueness.  The difference between a pet and human friends, was the closeness that we could get when maybe only a human baby and its parents can feel.  When baby became boy, people starts to be careful about education which creates distance.  When the kids became adults, parents scared to become a burden to the child which also creates distance.  Pets, does not have that problem.  That closeness was never lost, especially when human would never put their pets to the human standards.  They are pet, simple as that.  You can pour all the love of a baby you want towards it.  You can also educated it, make it cultured.  When that happened, it somehow does not creates distance, but strengthens the bond.  Because you instill a bit culture in them and it makes the pets even closer to you as a human-esque being.  How about that, I cannot find my draft to do the video, I think I have my first draft!  

Saturday, July 04, 2020

萬疾之王 備註

I forgot to mention something interesting to me from the book, Cancer Emperor of all maladies.  

To name something is very important in science.  The reason why it is important can be shown in the example of naming leukemia.  

The disease of leukemia was not discovered by Rudolf Ludwig Carl Virchow.  John Hugh Bennet was also mentioned in the book.  Dr. Bennet tried to guess the reason or the cause of the disease, he thinks it's a "suppuration of blood."  Dr. Virhow on the other hand did not guess the cause of the disease, he saw blood in white color so he named it "weisses blut", later changed it into a more academic name in latin root, "leukemia".  The book elaborated that by not assuming the cause of the disease, the name opened up for a real scientific inquiry into the cause of the disease.  

I think it's quite interesting.  

I checked Wiki, there're many doctors described the disease of Leukemia before Dr. Virchow:

"Velpeau (1825), Donné (1844), Bennett (1845), Craigie (1845), Virchow (1845), and Fuller (1846)"

The name of Leukemia was adopted, the reason is because the name described something in its appearance but not its cause.  

Thursday, July 02, 2020

萬疾之王 觀後感

I just finished the book: Cancer, the emperor of maladies.  I spend 2 -3 years on and off, to finish the book.  It was what should I say...an incredible book, long and detailed, the narrative was very easy to follow with clear sentence, and organized in such a logical order, that I could understand.  

This is a book of history, a history of cancer, a history of how we human identify it; how we tried to treat it; it filled with history, science, and politics.  Science was not the central topic of the book, but the book cannot escape from discussing it.  How and what science is, became a intense focus here.  As I am experiencing the pandemic of Coronavirus, some of the points in the books became even more relevant, and brings me to a new perspective.  

I think one of the most intriguing  idea I got from the book was the argument of how science should be conducted?  Should the government or an organization pour all its resource towards a planned goal?  Or should we let scientists decide where their scientific interest lead them?  It came from a historic sentence in the book when somebody told President Roosevelt, 

"...In the winter of 1945, Vannevar Bush had written to President Roosevelt, 'The striking advances in medicine during the war have been possible only because we had a large backlog of scientific data accumulated through basic research in many scientific fields in the years before the war.'" (Book chapter 43)

The example could said about DNA, 

"..., Avery and his colleagues reported in 1944 that genes were carried by one chemicals, deoxyribonucleic acid, or DNA.  What scientists had formerly disregarded as a form of cellular stuffing with no real function -- a "stupid molecule," as the biologist Max Delbruck once called it dismissively..." (Book Chapter 37)

DNA was discovered 1869 by Swiss Researcher, Friedrick Miescher.  This paragraph I think really highlighted Mr. Bush's words.  And for this book about Cancer, which showed how we use this knowledge to design the Targeted Treatment we used now.  The whole thing could be traced back to the mid- 19th century.  This is really fascinating!  

The view on science itself was often expressed against a goal oriented grand scientific plan for a nation.  And author used the whole book to prove this thesis.  I think this was expressed best in the chapter 15, but what's the reason of writing this?  Because in the political realms, this view was impatiently shut down.  In terms of politics, timely results is everything.    When the lobbyists pushed for a war on cancer,basic science was shunned.  If we looked at the pandemic right now.  We can suddenly understand why some people would rush to swallow medications that's not much use to them, instead hurt them sometimes.  From the present, we can also understand why so many doctors would try radical surgery or chemo therapists were trying to find more toxic chemicals try to cure cancers.  Because like some examples from the this book, dying patients have no time.  

But I'd say some people well versed in politics will say, well, it's a problem of direction.  They choose the wrong way.  But I feel that urgency would always trump the importance.  Which meant that looking for effective chemotherapy will always comes first.  The basic science of biology will always be in the background, especially in term of political debate.  

For me personally, I can see how messy it is to find cure, even now.  I remember when 蕭婆婆 got the cancer 20 years ago.  One of my uncle's friend was in research of cancer tried to comfort my aunt, targeted treatment was mentioned.   But she past away not long after.  I did not know the detail.  But I know, the treatment was not effective.  But 5 years ago, one of my uncle's friend, got breast cancer.  And she's still alive today.  I think the treatment must've been improved now.  It's a long struggle, it's messy.  I hope it helped me to understand.  Because I only like to do things when I totally grasped the procedure, the effect.  But often,  it is not the case.  I still need to move forward as mess was left behind, and hope that continuous action can get  a fix in the future...