Three Billboards outside Ebbing, Missouri:
I finally saw the movie. I thought I could watch it for an hour and continue next day. I was so wrong. The movie kept me going all the way through. Although I was not impressed with the ending, the process was very engrossing.
There were so many unexpected turns, I could hardly anticipate what's next. Everyone has an angle and depth, that I could grasped in some ways. I watched some reviews immediately afterwards, just like usual. One of them mentioned strong characters as main reason audiences love the movie. It makes me wonder, how was the plot driven, by plot's twists and turns, or by the characters created.
I read somewhere, an author said, he created a character, which forced the plot into certain direction where he has no control over. Even for bio-pictures, they always showcase people with strong characters, non- conformers.. That's how a story was created. Our daily mundane life really wasn't that interesting after all, it constitutes bunch of compromises. Even the movie, the secret life of Walter Mitty, features a normal character on the surface, the story begins when that character wakes up and acts in some defiant ways.
Three billboards really was a well crafted story. But the ending really is a bit ambiguous. I wish to see the justice getting done. Ending put the movie in a paradox, the movie presents itself with characters resisting the norms. However, the movie also put those characters in a position where those actions was minimized. I guess it's an author's defiance against the characters he created...
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I've been searched for job at least 4 hours from Monday to Wednesday. Kind tired. So I did nothing on Thursday. I also felt extremely lonely. The only person I talked to was my Mom. Not much of talking than listening, not even active listening. (is this perception a reality?)
Loneliness and tiredness caused intense sexual feeling. Not very cool. Has to find some way out. Stay active, can only get me so far. I think I need to talk to someone though. Just talking to myself is really not healthy. I know the feeling, eventually, everything stopped and stayed at the same spot, although it may look like feet moving.
Has to keeping moving though, action still counts better than nothing.
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After I got back from Taiwan, I bought a lot of stuff. A tablet for my mother, a bike for myself, returned 2 sunglasses that did not fit right, and still looking for a good pair of basketball shoes. I am afraid, I am compensating.
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I went to Y to play some volleyball, and Tina was there. I met her and her husband through Jo. I like them and like her posts on FB quite often. But when I saw her on Monday, my interaction was minimal. She might feel weird? I somehow was overcame by fear. I don't know what, but this happened all the times after I got to know people for a periods of time. And I know my interaction with other people was wonky at best. But this is the least of my concern, for I only want to play. But with Tina, the feeling of trying to escape is horrendous.
What is that fear??? How do I not to act upon that fear?
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I like to talk about my short comings, or other sad topics. So when I went toSofiya's party 3 days after I got back, my recount of the event to my mother was that I did not and could not talk much about my trip to Taiwan; not much interaction with people, who used to be my colleague; and I could only talk about Mascon with them, to which, Aaron rightly pointed out, "why talk about the company in this joyful occasion..."
This makes me think about a couple things:
1. Why do I like to talk about my inadequacy? Does this give myself some sense of satisfaction? Is that how I feel I exists in this world? Or otherwise, how come I like to talk about it?
2. Was there any pleasantry during the Taiwan trip? If there was, how should I present it?
3. I still need to practice how to express my happiness in full sentences...
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