music

i am very unsettled. my heart is shaking inside. the stomach and intestines are all turned upside down.

i feel i could not do anything at all. i sit in front of the monitor, surfing youtube, listening to music. somehow music bring me to the present, and it seemed calmer inside.

but there's the background. it seemed that on the background, there are cars rushing, people chattering, and thunder looming afar.

humbug!