TIKITIKITIKI

I watched a movie titled, Kon Tiki.  It was a movie about a true event happened in year 1947, I think...  I watched it because I saw someone compared the movie to life of pi.  In the comparison, that someone said true event is better than an imagined story however beautifully shot.

I like life of pi a lot, I mean a lot.  So, I detest that statement.  I immediately reserved the movie version of Kon tiki at library.  I also rent the documentary about kon tiki.  The documentary was shot during the true voyage of kon tiki  by the scientists involved in the journey in 1947.  It won best documentary in the subsequent Oscar for best documentary.  In a period of political calamity, it really stood out in many levels.

But as I delve in deeper, after I watched the movie.  I was a bit distraught.  The movie version of the event was a fairly standard movie, in my opinion.  For in reality, the journey was well provided by the US military.  Since US military wanted to test many things in the journey, including newly developed ration, even experimental shark repellent.  The local Peru government supported the journey as well.  For national pride, of course.  And for the story's sake, the director and script writers had to engineer a weak character to create conflict.   This artificial act not only made the movie conventional, it felt like an easy way out.  Though I have to admit, I am a bit jaded about movies.

But what shocked me the most, was the constant message of Faith kept coming up!  It really reminded me of life of pi in some way.  These two movie really had a lot of similarity.  The wonder of sea creatures, which created many fascinated shots in life of pi, did wonder to Kon tiki as well.  And when the parrot was eaten by shark, the emotion went high.  The elements of innocence, faith, and wonder of nature, which made men small, was all there.  But that's where the similarity ended.

The difference between the two movie, I think was that Kon tiki eventually is a movie about conquering nature.  Life of pi is eventually a movie about human nature.  And that's where it bugged me.  I already know the results of Kon tiki.  The ending of the movie doesn't give me a sense of wonder.  The truth contained in the movie was watered down, especially after extended research on my part.  I also know the results of life of pi.  But it still give me a sense of larger than life experience.  Because the message was not about the result.  On the contrary, it was the process.

I've kept pondering on the message of life of pi.  I've written two journals about it too.  But I could not come to the conclusion.  With Kon tiki experience, it seemed to lead me to a probable one.  Life of pi was eventually a growing up movie, a boy becomes a man.  During the process, changes happen.  When I was reading quote from the movie on rottentomatoes.  Most people quote this one,  

"Adult Pi Patel: I suppose in the end, the whole of life becomes an act of letting go, but what always hurts the most is not taking a moment to say goodbye."

It is this quote, that let me realize at the end what the movie was about.  

Kon tiki, on the other hand, did not have such message.  No one can deny the bravado of the men who's on the journey, especially the scientist who started the journey and cannot even swim!   But it is the limit of a movie portraying a true event.  Because that true event was only a medium to a message, or an illusion.  If the message failed to deliver its importance, or the illusion failed to deliver its magnificence, then the whole movie flopped. 

All these negativity is not intended to belittle Kon tiki.  For on its own, it had a calm and old style pace.  It felt like a gracious glide on the surface of  a deep blue sea under sunny sky.  I do think it's a missed opportunity though.  I believe it could be better. 

對話

今天又發了一次巨大的脾氣.  每次發脾氣都要毀壞一些東西. 那不然怎麼辦?  爲了五塊錢,值嗎?  以後, 又爲老媽增加材料.  這可以選擇的嗎?  我今天從外面回來的時候, 頭有點痛.  So?  Your point being?  沒啥, 只是說說.  這次之前, 他也說過類似的話.  我也很不高興, 可我忍了下來.  今天不知怎地就是壓不下去.  為了五塊錢哪...  我五塊錢拿回來了.  這都是外公的錯.  也不見得.  那是誰的錯?  爲啥一定要找碴呢?  那不然怎麼辦?  我可沒有不在乎錢.  Who cares?  說話不是嗎?  認真哪?!  現在是這樣說啊.  那時, 你在哪?  我在想佩蘭阿姨下午的那通電話也有關係吧?  有.  爲啥呢?  總是感覺別人輕視吧?  大概有一點...  那怎麼辦呢?  都是錢的錯.  可能也有點忌妒外公吧?  我看是很有一點.  是的, 他只要稍微稱讚一下老媽, 老媽就心花怒放.  我是不能比的.  每次都是錢.  錢, 錢, 錢，錢.  沒辦法讓老媽高興.  只有不斷的讓他失望.  失望.  想想, 那時在大學的時候, 小瑋一有事就打電話來, 我在那邊一點辦法都沒有.  心情壞透了.  自己的事情也處理不好.  沒法和別人相處.  最後回家了.  回家的 shock.  Yeah, talking about shock...  現在只要發脾氣, 都是因為我的 "病"! 

五塊錢...  只要我發脾氣一定是我的錯.  他說他道歉了.  每個人都可以看的出來, 他也不是真心的.  他以前說小瑋從不真心道歉.  他這次也差不多.  而且每次發脾氣, 老媽都變的像一堵牆.  他會在我發脾氣的時候說, 這樣發脾氣是不對的.  東西都打壞了, 價錢不只五塊錢.  爲啥要發脾氣?  只是一句話而已.  都很像外公.  老媽上次在外公面前大發脾氣, 跺腳, 外公保持著笑臉, 最多說, 別發脾氣, 父女嘛, 說說話而已...  就是為了外公, 也爲了要報帳給舅舅, 說啥一定要發票.  是的, 一個五塊錢的發票!  五塊錢的發票, 老媽說我不在乎錢!  我是不在乎錢.  應該不在乎給他看看.  我每個月必須要發五百塊錢到他帳上.  實在是不能忘了. 

我是沒辦法使他快樂的. 我很生氣這一點.  沒辦法給他安全感, 沒辦法令他感到高興.  別人都很高興的談論自己的小孩.  只有他.  可是外公稍微稱讚一句話, 他就快樂了.  我哪能跟外公比?  小孩的快樂, 是容易滿足的.  因為大人可以是常常陰天.  但是一朝出太陽了, 那總是令娃兒雀躍. 

小瑋給媽媽找來了.  我這次真的是氣瘋了.  五塊錢.  我說我送外公了.  老媽說我不在乎錢.  我要殺了外公.  我要報仇!  都是錢.   我很想殺人.  五塊錢!  我去 Target 買五塊錢的膠帶.  外公不要老媽買的一塊錢的透明膠帶.  他老人家要看不見的膠帶.  Target 賣的看不見的膠帶, 現在叫做 magic 膠帶.  我搞了半天才搞懂.  很無聊.  外公很無聊.  Target 也很無聊.  小瑋現在可以帶給媽媽一點倚靠.  他來了, 講講後, 帶媽媽一起去買菜.  媽媽回來後, 很明顯情緒波動仍很大.  可是表面克制住了.  而且有點倚靠, 終究好一點.  我也是稍微平靜下來.  我還是很不穩定.  我想老媽也是.  可是, 希望到了明天大家都忘了好.  雖說那是不可能的.  就這樣一次次的把我和老媽的關係刻損脫落.