whatever flows to the surface

a few days ago, Michelle came in warehouse and chatted with vic and me.  Whenever she talked to me, it's usually about me should get a girl friend.  One of the remark she made kept me thinking.  For she asked me if I had sister, I said yeah, and she's married.  She then wondered if she had kid.  No, I added, she doesn't want kid.  The reaction from Michelle was surprising, she said, "what did your parents do to you guys, that your sister doesn't want kid, and you don't want to even get a girlfriend."

A very sad remark.  indeed.  I don't know, for my sister, she cannot stop lamenting her childhood.   Me, I am just a coward.


----------------------------------------------------------------------

I watched a movie today, called housebound.  It came from New Zealand.  It was a very good movie.  It was a horror movie infused with humour.  I thought it was a very complete movie.  I mean there're light hearted moment, scary moment, and also talk about relationship with family.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

we went to malden and dined at an Ethiopian restaurant.  its presentation is very interesting.  we had four people, my mom, PQ, April, and I.  We ordered 3 meals.  But when the waitress brought the food, she brought a huge round pan, around 21 inches in diameter, a huge Ethiopian bread on the bottom, and our three meals, just dumped on the bread, decorated with some salad.  The ethiopian bread looked a bit purple, and sponge like.  It tasted sour, I thought a bit like sour dough, but April said sour dough has more a wine fragrance.  Ethiopian bread was just sour...  :p  We just used those bread as a wrap and put those lambs, beef, and salad on the them.  It was quite an experience.

Their bathroom was stinky though.  Reminds me of Chinese restaurant...  lol

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some quotes from being a wallflower

Charlie: Mr. Anderson? Can I ask you something?
Bill: Yeah.
Charlie: Why do nice people choose the wrong people to date?
Bill: Are we talking about anyone specific?
[Charlie nods]
Bill: Well, we accept the love we think we deserve.
Charlie: Can we make them know that they deserve more?
Bill: We can try.


-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-

Charlie: There is so much pain. And I-I-I don't know how to not notice it.
Dr. Burton: What's hurting you?
Charlie: No, not... not me. It's them! It's... it's everyone. It never stops. Do you understand?


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Random blabbering(with thoughts on movie)

I was mowing the lawn yesterday.  The neighbor's dogs were barking at me.  But it was a different kind of bark.  They were more ferocious.  I guess it was because our last encounter.  It was really sad.  Hope time will soften the ferocity.  Need to find out about how to stop the bark too... 

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Exodus: Gods and Kings

Before I watched the movie, I went and watched ten commandments first.  Huyin Ahyi said she even went back to read exodus in the bible.  lol

The movie was ok.  I never really like political part of Ridleyscott's movie, beginning with the gladiator, and with Exodus as well.  For in the movie, Moeses did something  that makes me feel like an 20th century person would've done.  It almost felt like another Lawrence of Arabia. 

But there are surprises in the movie.  There is "Philadelphia" in the movie.  I was expecting bitter rivalry from the start, but instead, I found love between two brothers.  It was such a contrast in the original movie.  I'd think the portrayed Rameses was a factor in it.  Every arts emits a feeling to its audience.  I could feel such a strong philadelphia towards the end of the movie, especially when Rameses ran towards Moeses even when the sea was right upon him.  I know, it is weird by calling someone who's trying to kill the other person and feel the love between the two.  But that's how I felt... 

The  contrast between the movies is mostly focused on Moeses.  At the end of the movie, I could feel how incredible Moeses was in the Ten Commandments.  But that's not how I felt for this movie.  Somehow Moeses was shrinked to something else.  The dramatic meeting between Pharaoh and Moses was reduced to an alleyway, knife wielding, assassin attempted-like scenario.  I don't know, the movie made Mosese less relevant .  But movie does make one think more clear than the ten commandments, the feeling of Moses towards Egyptians, during the plaques. 

The effect of cgi was of course pretty good.  the battlefield sequence was spectacular also.  I mean, it's Ridleyscott's movie after all. 

I"ve been thinking

I've been thinking.  I don't want to do my current warehouse job for long time.  It is necessary to decide where I want to go next.  I do not want to do nothing again.  The first criteria to this decision to me is do I dare to choose to do what I want to do, or choose to do what I think I can do?

What I can do is little.  What I want to do is, as I imagine, not within my reach.  The difference between utter reality and utter fantasy?  To pursue what I want to do, I will need to go  back to school.  To choose what I can do, well, I can just stay put.

--------------------------------

I was yelling at  my mom yesterday.  I yelled: "I hate you, I hate your, you do not care for me!"  My mom, upon hearing this, was of course, furious.  From that experience, I know, I am still that kid from  1994.  I still constantly need my mother's approval, encourage to do what is necessary.  I cannot feel grown up.

I felt neglected.  But what about my mother?  I'd like to say that a kid cannot never provide what a parent could give to his or her kid.  I felt I know my mother very well.  I know how neglected she felt.  But I also know that she does not need her father's approval or live nearby to spur her on her own life.  She has that energy ingrained in her.  However, I am sacking it.  The guilt I felt.

The whole scenario started with planting some seedlings a sister  gave to her.  Then, she cannot stop blabbering about how wonderful Mr. Wang's seedlings was growing.  I said let's go to uncle's house and see.  Yes, they grew wonderfully, unlike ours.  I do not know why mine is not growing at all this year.  This frustrate me to no end.  The way my mother stressed how important to grow this things started to bug me.  I said I do not want to grow them anymore this year after we came back from uncle's house.  That really irritated her.  In return, I got madder and madder.  Then all hell broke loose.  I was yelling, throwing stuff around, use the digging tool to scare neighbor's dogs, even shoveled my mother.  IT was and is really taxing on both party every time.  I eventually planted everything.   While I was doing the potting, I talked to her about my frustration.   The conversation seemed to calm the event a bit.  But it did not.  After I went to bed at 10 pm last night, she came out of bed to watch her JW program on roku.

My frustration was a talk with her about a girl, named CJ at office place a few days ago.  I felt my mother's answer did not satisfy me.  All the talk about the planting and how wonderful other people is growing stuff today, really doesn't help me either.  I already felt a failure inside, I just felt I cannot compare to other wonderful people out there.  All these months waking up at 3 am, and could not get back to sleep, my mind just running with longing for a intimate relationship was haunting, and still is.  But of course, I did not give her an impression of urgency a few days ago.  When there is a problem, I tried to diminishing the problem with carefully selected words and phrases.  Trying to avoid confrontation, conflicts, or other similar sorts of things.  I hate coward, and I am one. 

Today, nobody is spared, my mom is in terrible shape.  And so do I.  I have to find a way to express in proportion to what I feel, in a timely manner! 

The problem with girls, cannot be solved.  Since I don't dare to have a girlfriend.  My mother kept suggesting to find a focus in life, trying to divert myself.  I've been trying to do that.  I cannot. I don't have energy to follow through anything... 

My mother is really upset about me saying she doesn't really care about my emotional need.  I watched a lot of frasier, I felt frasier and his father has the same conversation.  frasier felt the need to talk more, but not his father.  I really need to learn how to speak up my mind in a timely manner and elegantly....


------------------------------------------

thoughts flowing around

I've sitting here since coming back from uncle's house.  I went to his house because grandpa called us twice to look for mom.  When I got to his house, I was kind surprised that uncle and aunt were both absent.  I waited mom's arrival with grandpa.

I've sitting here for 3 hours now since then. 

-----------------------------------

I was writing the above paragraph, my mom came back, then, I went to my uncle's house with her for something.  At that time, I was feeling extremely anxious.  I guess it came from surfing the internet fro 2 and half hours without doing any thing.  I had a a goal before I started surfing.  I listened to some rush albums because I want to learn to sing one of a rock'n roll songs.  Vic and Pei Quan both recommended them to me in separate occasions.  So I was listening and surfing at the same time.  By surfing, I meant I was trying to find something I can buy from amazon or ebay.  I don't know why that's important, but I felt it was important.  I've been wanting to buy yoga mat for sometimes now.  But every time I went online to look for them, I came back empty handed.  It's been like this for a long time now.  I could only buy stuff for my mom, it just seemed that I could not decide what to buy.  Or, I always wonder if that's a good decision at all.  I was always pretty  certain that the things I want to to buy was either unnecessary, or priced too much.  I need a better deal!  I do not want to be silly, I want to show people I know how to buy things I want with a good price as well.  From that point on, I stopped buying anything significant.  The only things I could spend my money on was either fast food, or cat toys.

What stopped me to do research?  I did some research.   But I always wonder if there's a better deal...  It is really that boy trying to find the best seashell by the beach...  

I did buy a compact scope a few months ago.  It was such a disappointment.  It's hard to adjust the focus, and it's not that clear.  But most terrible of all was that it's very fragile, for only a few days carried that thing around in my bag, it's broken already... 

I just learned a phrase that if you could have a few choices but could not decide, then choose the one that you could reverse your decision if needed to afterwards.  By not buying, I comfort myself that I was doing exactly that.  However, it is extremely dissatisfying with myself! 

----------------------------------


I always woke up in the mid night when baobao started meowing.  it's almost always at 3.  I used to be able to drift back into sleep.  But I could not lately.  I could not, because I kept thinking about girls in the office.  I would struggle between having a lustrous relationship with them, or puppy love.  Lustrous relationship almost always has the upper hand at the end.  And that is it for me to sleep.  That could go on for 6 nights a week. 

I used to ogling pretty girls when I was in high school.  I tried very hard to refrain from that for a long time.  The restrain seemed to help some.  But my imagination would go crazy half of the time.  The female I turned my eyes away would be 10 times prettier sometimes.  I really don't know what to do.  I am horrendously lonely.  I spent half of my day trying hard not to think of them.  The other half of the time just out of focus, or the outside objective world would give me something to replace my mind which is usually work for now. 

I know my mom knows what I am feeling.  She's not a prude.  But I just somehow could not step outside of my head.  I have nothing to offer to the girl I wish to engage with.  I can't talk, I have no talent, and I can't make a decision without making a fuss, and even after that the decision would come out wrong most of the time.  Plus, I make no efforts to make things better, from inside out. 

I felt sometimes that I have all the bad quality from my dad, my uncle, and my grandpa.  But alas, they are all far superior than me.  It's a insult to compare them to I. 

I am just  currently telling myself, that everybody is going to leave anyway.  Those girls in office, well, they too are leaving soon.  They will find a good future ahead, just like Nono did .  And I will still be here, trying to carve another block of wood, saying I hate coward, I hate stupidity, I hate myself. 



---------------------------------

I watched Mr. Turner two days ago.  It was too long.  I felt it's a montage without a focus, that means, the movie presented a person without really described that person.  It was a movie without opinion.  It maybe a good way to make movie sometimes.  But with the length of the movie, and the huge amount of  information, I felt it's disarrayed.  The acting was pretty good, I guess, for no matter how good the acting was, I felt the movie need to have an opinion about Mr. Turner! 

---------------------------------

I saw sudden impact, a fourth installment of dirty harry series.  It was decent, but I don't think it's excellent.  The plot was interesting enough. The acting was pretty good.  I don't know why it's not excellent.  But it's just not...  :p 

--------------------------------------

電影感想

The perk of being a wallflower:

This was an interesting movie.  I think it was finely crafted, in terms of character development.  The plot line was multilayer-ed, with good twists.  There was this real mystery  behind the main protagonist.  The characters surrounding the protagonist are colored personality as well.  Each of them has a real space to grow in the story.

As a wallflower goes, I learned the definition well from this movie.  I almost find the movie a bore although it was well crafted.  They used some typical conflicts in modern teen dramas.  It's lucky that supporting  cast was good role player for their own roles.  The protagonist was those kind people I don't particularly like.  Quietly observant, polite, but knowledgeable.  He was at the same time, quite mature for his age but permeates a sadness.  Not really fearful of others.  A writer himself.  He liked a senior in high school, but they were never together.

I felt I am like the protagonist in some ways.  I don't like myself, therefore, I don't like the protagonist too much.  But the movie was quite alright.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Calvary:

This was a gamble.  I have no idea what the movie was about.  But it paned out alright.  I love the photography in the movie.  It was some of the prettiest thing I've seen.  The scenery, the composition in some frame was simple, but elegant.  The color too.

I took the picture, because of the main actor.  My first memory of him was in the kingdom of heaven, he played a bad guy there, and made a real impression on me.  Here's the same as well.  A very competent actor in a very difficult role, which really shined.

But I have to give the credit to the director.  In the end, the movie was crafted with patient.  The ending was shocking, but it took the whole movie to culminate to that point to give the audience the impact.

I read some reviews claiming to the atheists, encouraging people to watch the movie, saying it is something greater than just a story about a priest .  I found that weird.  :p 

One of the most important quote I remembered from this movie, was when the priest was confronted with the question of why he would cry for his dog, but when upon hearing the molest of many young boys by the other priests, he did not shed a tear.  His answer was blunt and honest, he felt a sense of detachment after hearing the molest of young boys by the other priests.  I could not really understand about when this conversation struck me, but I know it's the key to this whole movie.  While searching for the quote, I read someone compared the priest's detachment to the public's detachment in general.  By killing the priest, it's also a allegation towards the general public's detachment.  I think maybe that was the reason I thought the conversation meant.  But I might find something other things in the future...

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

催眠大師

滿不錯的一部電影.  我覺得在節奏的拿捏上非常棒.  在這點上製造了緊張.  對於那位神秘女人的動機, 和他的秘密, 也使的觀眾不斷揣測,  提高了觀眾懸疑的興趣.  另外兩位主角的互動很具張力.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

一個人的武林

有王寶強, 我覺得在演戲上似乎給我一點保證.  所以我滿期待的.  電影沒有讓我失望.  以警察探案為經, 把一個舊式的武林爭霸的故事給帶出來, 這是一個令我驚豔的結構.  其中警案的劇情引起整部影片的多處轉折, 實在是令人猜測不斷.  王寶強的演戲能力也沒讓我失望.  他能不能打對我來說不是很重要, 可是, 在故事裡, 他實際上扮演的是甄子丹 的 hyde.  而這個 hyde 非常盡責, 把主角最強的 Ego 給叫出來後, 真正把主角從自己的強烈欲望裡掙脫出來.  甄子丹的表現一般沒有太大的波瀾起伏, 但是在這裡卻很適合他的角色. 

這實在是一部很好的電影.  

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person missing

looking for a lost person.  he is 5'3'', asian.  male, with a glasses.  missing since long time ago.  may no longer be alive.  but still hoping to reach out and take our chances.

it's hard to describe how this person really was for it was truly a long time ago.  this person seemed to be full of himself sometimes.  it seemed that he could easily get along with other people, but deep down, he was a phony.  he pretends a lot.  could not  hold true to his feeling.  deeply competitive, it seemed, but a coward in the core.  this combination makes him a person kept hiding and hiding, until there's no more room to hide.  until he had to close his own eyes,  to pretend to hide...  in plain sight.

he watched a lot of porn.  although many of those things scare him, but somehow, those scared him the most, attracted something deep inside of him as well.  it's an interesting study case for human psychic?  or could it be an average joe's psychology?  this person disliked the habit, but could not stop himself.  this habit had affected his interaction with opposite sex.  it was really a very sad fate.  for he naturally adored females. 

this person had problem interact with people, he sought other means to be in touch with a bigger human nature.  movies.  it's very stupid.  for there's no interaction at all.


after all these description, maybe , we should not looked for this person anymore... 

-----------------------------


隨便寫的文章,完全沒有內容.   寫作的動機是來自於 zen and the artofmotorcycle maintenance.  這是我以前的心理醫師介紹的一本書.  我最近找來看, 看完後, 後悔那時候沒有馬上在介紹時閱讀.  的確是一本可以和心理醫師討論好書.  主角那種完全脫離現實的觀察, 就好像駕駛人其實不在駕駛, 反而坐在乘客座上.  兒子的描述, 一開始讓我覺得多餘, 但實際上, 非常關鍵!  我還不能解釋關鍵在何處. 

can't sleep

don't remember when, but i have been getting up really early for a few weeks now.  i thought maybe work start to affect my personal life.  i went to work very early because that is just the sequence of getting up early.  i am really tired.  really tired. 

i usually wake up at around 3:30.  my cat would come and wake me up.  but i would fell into sleep again in the past.  not recently though.  i guess i am just filled with sexual desire.  i could not let it go.  i remember now why i quit mpcsa, because i felt i could not talk to the girls there.  and yet, i wish to get close to them.  very much so.  i have a yoga instructor who i am attracted to.  i'd fancy about her.  but that never caused me sleepless in the early morning.  there are michelle and cj in the work place.  i do fancy a lot about michelle.  i kind like cj as well.  all these daydreaming, if you would call it, makes myself tired.  not because masturbation, but rather, the thought of incompetence of myself.  the laziness, can't communicate well, a shallow understanding of human interaction...etc.  oh, and cowardice.  i felt i am a fake.  a big fake.  as i said before, to exaggerate one's incompetence,  is one way to enlarge one's own image.  i am doing that RIGHT NOW! 

it's just never enough for me.  although i have everything i need to be successful.  my mom makes sure of it.  it is i who failed to implement anything.  every time this thought came up, i know i need to remind myself to get a grip.  then i'd say to myself, go do what you want.  i would think hard, but the only thing i could really muster, which i'd never announce it in front anyone but myself, was i wish nono is here.  i want her love.  but then, again, that won't happen, that aint never ever gonna happen.  so what i would usually do is go to macdonald and buy a twenty piece chicken nuggets, $5.00.  best way to laugh at myself being a coward, i guess. 

my mom was very much disturbed by my behavior, mainly getting up really early.  i need to find a part time job though.  i am tired. 

i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i hate myself, i wish nono could be here.  but i don't wish nono to be here.  are you kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

movies in hindsight

the rover

it was a very good movie.  it kept reminding me of mad max.  I guess it was s version of mad max in more realistic light.  But the rover was a much more complete experience.  The story spun out of the two main characters was really cool.  the background with vast wilderness was both exhilarating and empty somehow. 

The acting in the film was top notch.  It was a really good movie. 

-------------------------

Two brothers

It's a tiger's tale.  It was amazing to see those tiger actors act.  I was really fascinated by them.  The story and other actors were enough to hold the film, but it is the animals that hold the attention.

I stumbled this movie because the French director filmed another animal movie with wolf in China.  Two brothers were really not bad.

--------------------------


the raid 2

It was a better film than the first one.    It cranked up everything that was awesome in the first one to another level.  The last fight was truly amazing! 

impressing movies

revenge of the dragon  greeene

It was a pretty ordinary movie.  Ordinary in the sense that it is a very much what I expected what it should be, a gangster movie, where a group of young people doing gang things...  fighting, drugging, sex...  The movie did success on making the protagonist more  human. I was unhappy with rape scene towards the end.  It was horrible.  The twist at the ending was also a big let down.  For it really reminded me of wu jian dao...   The movie was based on real events, so the rape probably was unavoidable.  but the ending was superfluous.
It was interesting to watch this movie purely just because the  background was not about AA or italian, there were something uniquely asian. 


---------------------------------

lucy

The bad guys in the movie could already be dealt with.  And yet, they stayed, and tried to act as something that could matter the outcome...  Johansson's performance was tight, so was the taipei sequence.  The ending was not really well thought out.  It was an barely okay movie, simply because only the half was decent, the ending was spoiled, and bad guys were stupid.

------------------------------


the drop

It was a really good movie.  I don't remember tomhady much besides bane, but he did not showed his face, so I would count much into that.  So this is the movie I truly learned who tomhardy is, an amazing actor.  The story was really good as well.  As I looked back now, there were few subtle setups to tie the film from the beginning.  That was cool.  The movie was also surrounded with very strong actors, including noomirapace, and jamesgandolfini.  the conversation between tomhardy and jamesgandolfini towards the end was awesome, the subtle change of tomhardy in the major showdown was so creepy and yet powerful.  i can't say enough how much fun it was. 

------------------------------


rudderless

it's an okay movie.  the performace of billycrudrup was as always excellent.  but i was as touched by the music.  the story was however, worth knowing.

-------------------------------


the judge

a friend of mine compared this movie the August: Osage County.  I think it was because both movies had weird parents.  my friend think the judge was better.  But to me, it's different.  the judge was however warmer in many ways.  the mother in august was not at all!

I felt the judge was a movie with too many complicated story lines, and could not really settle on one of the story lines.  The grand daughter scenes did not seemed necessary at all.  The only purpose it served was so the audience won't be too disgusted by the old man.

The court room drama could also be tweaked and concentrated, but it was my personal preference.

The relationship between father and son was not bad in the movie at all. I liked it very much.  Both actors were equally capable to bring strong and complicated emotion out which was why the movie was decent.

---------------------------

nightcrawler

a very scary movie.  some scary movies use ghost, killers, spirit, myth, monster, weird dude.  This one used a weird dude.  The acting was incredible, not just the main actor, but all the supporting actors.    This is one scary movie. 

-------------------------------

beyond the lights

it's an okay movie.  some of the scenes were pretty good.  I like the scene in mexico where the female protagonist sang. 






 

movie impression

mad max series:

I felt that i must be desensitized throughout these years.  for I felt that this series was not that bloody.  Some of them were savagery, yes, but the violent act was done very differently than nowadays.  They were not more reserved, but more realistic.  What I meant to say was that watching a staged fight would be more glorious, but a real street fight, that would be slow and sluggish.  I consider this is what happened here. 

It created an otherly world place quite successfully.   I almost felt like a child's dream being realized.  I do not know why.  I guess bad people being bad, good people looked good as well.  It's all on the surface.  It's not shallow though.  As the series went on, the movie got further away from the reality.  The last installment of the series was so weird compared to the other movies!  It really is a children's story disguised in wild and rugged appearances! 

-------------------------------------------------

jon wik

I had high anticipation for this one.  I thought it was a good action flick.  Some of the scenes in the movie were really slick, especially the gun play. 

But I felt the ending was weak which felt a bit dragged.  The movie created a mysterious world of assassins successfully.  But jon as a character was eventually weak in many ways.  I don't like him much.  And this mysterious world of assassin somehow weakened joh even futher.  because now it took the tension of him being hunted. 

--------------------------------------------------

the raid redemption

I kept find ways to delay watching this movie.  I felt it's just going to be a movie of bunch of actions sequence without much meaning.  But it was alright.  The plot line was of course, still thin.  The movie itself was not weakened by it though.  It's enough to sustain the whole movie, since some of the action sequences were really good! 

This movie reminded  me the dredd movie.  But that's beside the point.  I felt I haven't seen such great action scenes since HK movies long ago.  And with the modern technology, it felt even better. 

It's not to say that all the action were good.  I felt the last fight was boring.  It's really disappointing to end the movie this way.  It dragged too long, and most of the movements in that scene became moo points.  Let me put this way, it's like god of war, with all the flashy light, and bone cracking sound, but nothing really happened.

---------------------------------------------------


the homesman

I thought the title was the horseman...  My goodness, I realized the title after I finished the movie...  lol

It was a very solid movie.  I liked it quite a bit.  The performance was really good.  Tomli Jones sure can act in many ways.  And HilarySwank was beautiful in the movie.  One of the best shocking twist I've seen in a movie for a long time.

It's 2nd movie for Tomly Jones.  This one has a similar air, an atmosphere, which it seemed that only He can give.  And I think western was a great place for that air to appear, since they kind of both forgotten somehow.

-------------------------------------------------

some thoughts

review on brick the film

I liked the film the first time.  I do not know why.  so I watched it the second time yesterday.  i still don't know the reason.  I find it comical throughout, since the content is usually performed by older guys in societal setting.  It was all performed by high school students...  it's kind ridiculous.  But at the same time, the characters were interesting, the plot engaging, and the performance was really good.  The mystery was kind lost in the middle, for i already watched it before.  But the atmosphere surrounds the circumstance was still thrilling. 

One thing though.  The words spoken here, was kind hard to follow.  They were so fast, and many might be slang, that I needed to rewind a few times just to read the captions. 

I still could not find out the reason why I liked it.

--------------------

a coffee in berlin

i did not care too much about the film.  it's a day in berlin, the young protagonist could find a coffee through out the day.  It's a sad day for him, maybe.  Or maybe his day was like this for quite a while now.  I'd compare this film to nebraska.  but it did not give me a wonder at the end like nebraska.  I could not get something out of it without that last note. 


-------------------

Am I looking for something superior in my writing?  No, not really.  But it is true that whenever I want to write something I'd call real, I'd stop writing.  There is hesitation, which is enough for me to stop all the thoughts and words.  Sometimes I felt childish.  Sometimes I felt embarrassed, even no one is reading it.  My dad used to say he'll do what he liked to do, rather than following other people's path.  I don't know why that sentence cut into my thought.  But there's another thing that came in my mind as well.  I chose to write down my father's words, but no my mom's.  I asked my mom once, not once, but many times.  why did she not write down something about the past.  She replied, why?  The past is past.  I felt that she voiced many complaints about the past.  She could not put those things into words simply.  There must be good, there must be  bad.  The words is hard to do justice to those things.  When my mom complained past, my uncle would always argue her point.  It was weird to see these two argue about the same objective thing. 

If I felt something injured me, I'd cry afoul.  If I want something, my mind went blank.  Like it's something to be embarrassed about.  I felt disgusted at something, or someone, What if I felt disgusted about my dislike at earlier moment?  Man, that's too  bad.  I felt that way, feeling can't be changed.  no?  Or maybe we could hide it?  Yes, hide it.  What if I confront it?  What kind of standard should I use to judge it?   Should I consider all the subjective and objective, inside and outside influence?  Or am I to make that call? 

I want.  Such indecisive phrase. 

我的影評

剛剛看完 bride and prejudice. 我滿失望的.  看過不少傲慢與偏見的影片.  這部在劇情上並沒有太多的驚奇.  早已知道會有跳舞唱歌的場面, 這些過場也無讓我感覺很突出.  我感覺劇組很想拍出印度風味.  但是, 不知怎的, 我卻覺得這是我看過西化的印度電影. 

我覺得原著裡, 描寫了很多特別的人物.  這部電影裡, 似乎無法盡原著的原汁原味來做同樣的人物描寫.  特別是反面的 Wickham, 而做為丑角的 mr. kohli 又太過著墨.  我覺得 mr. kohli 還算了, 因為和其他影視相比, 還不失原著的味道.  但是, 一旦反角失去力道, 正面的 Darcy 也同時失去魅力. 

這是我第一次看 ashwarya 演戲.  他還滿稱職的.  聰明, 可愛, 性格突出.  大部分的影視也都照這個模式演.  但是我還是喜歡 BJD 裡的角色.  這是一個 使這電影 make it or break it 的最重要元素.  BJD 之所以令我喜歡還有一個 "憨"的原因.  太聰明使的這角色, 太剛硬.  因為這女孩性格之強, 又聰明, 又漂亮...  已經使人產生崇高的畏懼感.  還需要一個憨才能拉近觀眾的距離.  但是, 這和 Ashwarya 無關.  這是劇組的問題.

還有, 我看的電影對白都是英文.  讓我有點不適應.  之前看的我都堅持聽原文看英文字幕.  這部電影讓我感覺看到上層的印度菁英.  或許這也是所有其他文化也有的現象.  就是, 其他文化的菁英都開始大量用英文吧. 

海克力斯和其他

just saw hercules with the rock.  this movie was quite entertaining.  I mean it did not pretend to be serious.  And I know exactly what i was getting.  The created an wonderful experience for viewing this movie. 

The movie surrounds the rock with all the role actors.  And it pushed those role  actors to their full capability.  especially worthy of mentioning was ian mcshane.  He not only delivered one of the most hilarious line in the movie, he also accommodated one of my favorite scenes in all my years of watching movies!

the rock was perfect for this job.  By watching the trailer, I thought his voice was a big weak, not manly enough.  But I was wrong.  During the most intense scene, the rock crying out his own name was really not bad.  And with his physique, the look, he's an awesome hercules. 

many of these kind movies using real history as background, but eventually, I felt they were all like Conan the Barbarian!  All telling a story from far far away, long long ago.  It was fun.  The history really doesn't matter.

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brick mansion:

another movie, but besides the opening sequence, there's nothing to see.  Nothing.  very sad.  The source material was not good to begin with.  It's a waste of talents when there's no story at all...  just pathetic.  

今年工作經驗

在麥斯康已經工作兩年半. 去年是正式員工一年, 前兩年是非正式兩年. 去年這一年事情非常之多. 並不是說倉庫本身的事情很多,而是其中人事和與其相關的事情不少. 

在麥之前我做了三年 ups 聖誕期間的司機助手.  這讓我稍稍對裝箱送貨的流程有點認識.  去年前的兩三個月, 我開始在倉庫作.  那時候, 麥的倉庫主要的人手走了.  我和馬力歐算是全職倉庫.  維克是半職.  Aaron (張玉) 兼職倉庫經理.  那時我剛進去, Alex 跟我說, 那時候最重要的事情是 恩(enidine) 出貨不能有錯, 至少要減到最低錯誤的程度.  為了這個目標, Aaron 決定整頓恩貨物的排列, 並且用力的把倉庫大力整頓, 該丟的丟, 該收拾的收拾.  於是, 恩區的空間增大許多, 貨物的排放更集中, 出貨下架和收貨歸架也更為經濟.  另外, 還有許多倉庫的工作流程系統化, 也就是說, 使的許多步驟裡, 出貨和收貨時有更多的憑據, 加責於經手人.  另如, 收貨時的電郵格式, 出貨時, 在盒子上的標籤格式.  也都出自 Aaron 的設計.  在幾個月的調整和適應下, 這些流程逐漸成形, 到現在成為部門之間很重要的溝通橋樑.   六月份, 新的倉庫經理上任.  一切步驟沿用 Aaron 的設計.  新的經理, 把一些貨物直接請港口的貨運公司直接堆在木墊上.  省了倉庫很多很多力.  幾個月後, Alex 兼任倉庫經理直到現在. 

------------------------------------

本來是我和馬全職, 維克半職.  四月份的時候, 馬離職, 維克成為全職.  馬的離職應該可以避免的.  事情是馬在外找到某鎮上的公職, 但是, 藥品測試還沒正式拿到, 其他面試已經過關.  馬以為一定過, 於是他對於張就開始有散漫的態度.  本來這幾個月來, 他倆一直有摩擦, 這下子, 更緊張起來.  我這個人有毛病, 無論是同學還是同事, 還是親人, 有人爭執, 我就受不了.  就在他準備離職的四天前一個下午, 馬竟然接到通知說他的測試不過.  他整個人都不大對勁了.  我一看, 生怕張會惹他不高興, 我看到張, 偷偷說了情況, 希望他下午不要太和馬紀較.  也告訴他不要和任何人提起這件事.  工程部門的人和馬早有意見.  我這樣做實在是太天真.  第二天, 馬就問我, 我是否和誰提起測試過?  我馬上否認, 他說他做總經理的乾媽和他說, 少東和他提起這件事!   Alex 後來還把我找去, 和張跟我說明這件事.  因為那一天我很不高興張和Alex (工頭) 說.  那個星期的星期五, 老闆娘給馬一封辭職信.  於是馬就走了.  這對我是很好教訓.  在人事上我太天真.  馬是太年輕, 他有百般不對, 老闆娘也應該不會這樣在得知他工作沒有的情況下讓他走人.  畢竟他也在這公司陸陸續續做了七年(他今年廿歲).  如此的絕情, 實是因為聽到他有藥品的問題.  而且, 這事還要少東和總經理提起, 總經理在這一著上已經輸給工頭.  並不是我真的很喜歡和馬同工.  但此事上我難辭其咎. 

維克在全職前, 我跟他不很熟悉.  在全職之後, 我還滿喜歡這個人的.  很有頭腦的一個人.  尤其是在工作上, 在人事上他也老練.  他其實是倉庫的工友.  現在任全職後, 他把整個倉庫翻了一翻, 從今年暑假開始, 我們拆了一個房間, 也就是清出一個空地可以放更多架子.  ATW 警報器得到整個徹地的翻新排列.  最近兩三個月更大肆把恩的貨物整個挪出, 準備要排在更多的新架上.  他非常仔細徹底.  而且, 因為手藝很好, 他常常能夠化腐朽為神奇.  相對於馬, 他好相處多了.  他很喜歡車子, 還主動把我的車子生鏽的地方上了漆.  另外, 承他照顧, 我在恩的發貨上出過錯誤, 他和 Anne 都幫我掩蓋過去.  而且在如何堆放貨物, 如何開起重機, 他都指導我多次.  跟他合作事很愉快的經驗. 



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movie impression

enterstelar:

I have no idea about the movie.  But I was not impressed by nolan's batman series and inception.  Because, his batman was not shining.  The character did not stand out, even a little bit cliche.  Inception, i thought was too complicated for it's own good.  the performance of the actors in there did not impress me as well.  While I was indecisive, I found that almost everyone went and watched the movie at Hu Yin Ah Yi's thanksgiving party. I also found out that Nolan made prestige, that one pushed me. 

Before I go, I had some vague idea what this movie was about.  I thought it would be a lot of space travel, and a lot of grandeur to beheld.  I thought plot would be minimal.  It proved to have some truth in there.  However, even so, there were quite few twists in the plot, enough to hold me for all 2 and 50 minutes without turning my eyes.  It was a sign of great movie already.  The CGI pictures was good enough to give me a sense of wonder, except in the end.  However, one of the most impressed thing were really the performance from each actors, and director's pacing.  MM was the one threading the main plot line.  It was really captivating.  He never lost sight of his purpose, as a father, as a pilot.  All the other actors, ah, jc, , mc, ca, all done the same as well.  Usually, for the big name actors like this bunch, I'd think that they gave us some old vibe from their previous movie, but not here.  Each grasped their character well.  I consider this to be part of director's success as well.  For he not only has to cast well, he only has to put them in a believable situation for each actors to sip into their characters without much of cliche. 

I am not a movie tech guy so I don't normally talk about technical jargans.  But when I was reading other people's reviews, one of them mentioned something about the pacing.  I thought it was really a good point.  For I sat there for almost 3 hours, I don't feel my butt at all.  There were many twists, but they were placed in right spots with good timing.  I think that's want pacing meant.  My butt will be the testament. 

But the movie was not without flaws.  It was towards the end.  It kept bothering me that towards the end, the fifth dimension was an easy way to link with the movie together.  I understand the concept, but I can't get the cheapness out of my mind.  The other thing was that after MM's daughter told him to go, he immediately left without too much emotion expressed.  That gave me a feeling of hollow.  I refer this moment to the Captain America, when he came back from the crash.  CA could not really let go the past and I felt he kept sulking on it.  But here, it's the total opposite, there's nothing to be sulked about.  The haste departure even made me felt a bit scare.  Granted, the only who can share the feeling was ah's character in the other planet.  And it is true that MM's character really lost all the connection with his daughter, and her relatives.  The hollow emptiness left from that departure was almost unbearable to me personally.  I just felt somehow there's an emotional void, sucked in all the rest of the previous effort.  The rest thing to do then was really like the message from the movie, look forward, don't look back? 

It was really a very good movie.  I really quite like it. 
-----------------------------------

Into the wuds"

I watched that movie last Thursday with my sis and brother in law.  Or maybe it's a Friday.  Yeah, it's a Friday. 

I saw the trailer of this movie, I said it's interesting.  But my butts hurt while I was watching the movie.  It's actually was a comic alternative soup of many fairy tale.  It was a stage musical before.  There're some funny scenes, but I consider it sub par.  the music score did not really impress me somehow.   However, I do find that MS could really sing.  I don't remember seeing her sang before.  There's one music score that's extremely hilarious.  But beside these two things, nothing really stands out.  I felt shrek was way better overall. 

------------------------------------


SweeneyTodd>

I watched it at last.  Not particularly fond of it.  Not my cup of tea.  Jp can sing though.  the first attempt to kill the judge, the song there was marvelously done.  just marvelous.

-----------------------------------------

True detective,

it's not a movie.  But it might as well be.  hbo series with heavy narration and brilliant performance from MM and WH were incredible duo.  the ending was a bit weak.  but the 3/4 of heavy narration was just awesome.  

bed late

it's late now.  I woke up this morning at 3.  I am tired.  Yet, I felt hard to go to bed.  For I felt the day is not yet finished.  I wish I could go to bed with an exalted thought. 

Work has been hard lately.  For the past two days, company wanted to push most of the gun parts out before the end of the year.  We had wrapped 48 of those skids, all by hands.  That's not counting the other company's skids.  A week before, we started to raise new racks in the expanded area for warehouse.  My coworker is the main guy, but it's still hard for me as a helper. 

I came home feeling lonely.  My mom is here, welcoming me with kind words food.  But I seemed to want more.  Something I felt empty inside.  It might be holiday depression, it usually happens. 

I wish I could play well in baseball in warehouse.  But I could not hit the ball somehow.  On the other hand, all the other people can hit the ball quite well.  I hate it, especially when michele is around.  It's a dilemma, really.  For only she wants to play baseball as bad as I do. 

Even now, I felt restless.  Something is unfinished.  And yet, go to bed I must.  I am tired. 

good recipe

carnita, from food wishes, chef john

port butt, cubed, or just small 2 inch pieces. 

kosher salt, black pepper, cinnamon, cumin, orange peels, orange juices, orange pieces, bay  leaves

garlic cloves, peeled, and unpeeled. 

mixed all well,

put heavy duty aluminum foil. 

275F 3 hours. 

after that, drain the juices.

put the pork back to the pan, and start to broil, until hardened, even charred a little, on top of the pork. 

during broil, try to pour some meat juice on the pork! 

great for tacos.  or anything else! 

fish soup

i made a fish soup today.  it tasted pretty good.  here's the recipe:

chicken stock, already prepared by my mom. 
tomatoes, cooked already a week or two ago, by my mom.  just cooked a bunch in oil with medium heat, until most of the juice came out. 
Hot pepper sauce, prepared by my mom.

Yellow onion, sauted in low heat.  I'd prefer to cook longer, but it turned out good. 
Garlic, crushed, chopped, added to sauted onion. 
Celery, a stalk chopped fine, added with one wedged carrot into onion and garlic. 
added, 龍利魚.
added tomatoes, stock, chinese cooking rice wine, miso, hot pepper sauce.
then, added 豆腐, 或著油豆腐. 

simmer for 20 minutes. 

no salt or pepper required.